this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2024
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I'm just middle aged and lost all energy for unproductive discussions. The second another poster posts something genuinely hostile, like "touch grass" kinda shit, I'm just done talking. Also if we're six comments in and the other guy won't even admit to being wrong to the thing he said on comment one, despite me doing twenty minutes of research to prove conclusively that he's wrong, I don't want to waste another second of my life on him.

I gotta have 10% of the "disengage" comments on this site.

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[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 36 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Hot take, I think the "disengage" rule is good but I don't like the way we do it.

Saying "disengage" sounds like your commanding someone to disengage, which comes off as a final "fuck you!" It's basically a mod enforced way to have the last word. If we instead said "I'm disengaging" or "i want to cease this convo", idk something that had more to a tinge of humility to it I think it could come off better.

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago

if we instead said "I'm disengaging" or "i want to cease this convo", idk something that had more to a tinge of humility to it I think it could come off better.

Ya I agree, this sounds way better.

[–] frightful_hobgoblin@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 month ago

I say "k" or stop replying.

Saying "disengage" is a bit milquetoast I agree.

[–] Blockocheese@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

There's also the issue where someone will write a multi paragraph response then add disengage at the end to ger the last word in

There was a post a while ago where mods were saying not to do that but it isn't enforced

[–] MiraculousMM@hexbear.net 20 points 1 month ago

Its absolutely enforced when we see it happen. Report any instance of the disengage rule being used improperly like that. We don't see everything and rely heavily on user reports to point out CoC violations

[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago

Was gonna say I'm pretty sure that's against the rules and you don't have to respect that "disengage" if it's made like that.

[–] REgon@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago

There's also the issue where someone will write a multi paragraph response then add disengage at the end to ger the last word in

That hasn't been an issue for over a year. Doing that will - or at least was - grounds for a banning. I know because I'm the one that asked for the rule to be clarified so it didn't work like that.
There was some drama with some user who kept doing it, which was the motivation for the rule change/clarification.

[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago

I've got someone banned for not respecting proper disengage etiquette, so it's definitely enforced when reported.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You know I tried something like that recently, but the people who need a disengage aren't the ones to take a hint. It's a command because the people who's hobby that day is to argue with you aren't going to respect polite boundaries.

Okay but I've seen as many examples of people using it as a "have the last word spell" than as a way to tell someone who's legit been pestering you to fuck off.

I'm pretty sure spamming someone with replies after they've asked you to stop is against the rules anyway so you could just report them.

[–] CommunistCuddlefish@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Can you explain the disengage rule? I think this is the first I'm hearing about it and that's kind of weird/concerning because I feel like I should know the rules of this place.

I'm not a mod so I'm really not the best person to ask

[–] bumpusoot@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you want a conversation to stop, especially with a user who's constantly replying or following you. You can respond with "Disengage.", and the user is obliged to stop posting at you about whatever it is. The post has to be a simple 'disengage', rather than trying to get the last word in with "you stink and here's five reasons why also disengage".

[–] CommunistCuddlefish@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

Thanks for explaining!