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Trump coveted a military spectacle but his parade proved underwhelming: ‘Just kind of lame’
(www.theguardian.com)
this post was submitted on 15 Jun 2025
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The American military doesn't train to put on parade theatre for a despot. No high stepping, no elaborate formations or movements. None of that pointless bullshit. If you see a military parade from NK or China achieving dazzling perfect performances, while impressive, that's all it is; a visual performance. All they do is practice for those events. Those are not uniforms. They're costumes. Those are not soldiers. They're a dance troupe. These are completely different skillsets. Soldiers don't need to know how to dance perfectly in formation. They storm the objective, execute the mission, and get the fuck out. You might as well send a marching band into combat, because that's all they would become.
It's funny how they want to force the US military into performing flamboyant pageantry, while also kicking out the gays.
Thats all nice what you said but its far more likely the members of the army just didnt care as much rather than they are incapable of marching in unison.
I know this from experience. Perfect formation marching must be drilled constantly. The US military does not waste its time with it because it is useless beyond Basic Training.
I agree that they clearly didn't want to be at his stupid little parade. Yes, they half-assed it. It just blows my mind that Trump clearly expected pageantry when our military has never once put on such a show.
As do I. There is no active duty enlisted person not capable of marching down a street in step in a reasonably square block. (And I would assume this also true for officers but I wouldn't know that.)
We're not talking about doing a halftime show in a marching band. It takes an hour of instruction and practice to do it reasonably well.
Sorry if it seems like I'm jumping on you, but I'm stunned at the number of folks scratching their heads like they aren't sure if the soldiers were intentionally out of step or not, and you are just the first one I've replied to. They were intentionally out of step.
I'm not saying they weren't intentionally out of step (I definitely would have been) but based on my experience also in the military, as well as high school marching band, many people suck at it even after weeks of practice and my band director cared way about it than any NCO ever did, either in boot camp or beyond. They taught us how to align left and right, and how to march around a corner in formation. We did that until the end of boot camp and then never again. We got our asses handed to us for all kinds of minor infractions, but never once did I see anybody get even scolded for being out of step.
Frankly, it used to drive me crazy.
No worries dude, it doesn't feel like you're jumping on me. Maybe they were just way more lax about it in the Navy. When it came to marching, in my experience they barely gave a fuck.
One thing that seems pretty telling to me, and isn't really being mentioned, is that I didn't see any of them in dress uniforms. Weren't they all in camo?
I was also USN, but it occurred to me after reading your post that maybe (I'm effing old) they do care about it less now than when I was in. To be clear - I too never marched after boot camp and A school, but if I'd been ordered to go be in a parade I'm sure we could have pulled it off.
Thanks! 🙂 And do you still cringe when you hear someone say "Hey Shipmate?" It's been decades and I do!
My boot camp division actually did march in formation during Milwaukee's 4th of July parade. So we weren't too bad at it really.
I still treasure the sound of disappointed children when I expertly avoided stepping in a pile of horse shit.
Lol, yes I do!
Marines doing the silent drill in dress uniform : 👀
That's like 20 dudes though who's entire job is drill and ceremonies, though.
The guys marching in this parade looked like they were forced on a group walk, and none of them looked like they wanted to be there.
Marching in step is basic training stuff. They know how to do it if they want to. The fact that they didn't is very important.
It’s harder than it looks, especially for miles and miles.
They might know how to do it, but people make mistakes.
Even if they were trying (and I don’t think they did give it 100%) you’d still be finding people who were out of step.
Totally agreed. It's very much a statement being sent. It wasn't even half assed. You could get a group of normal people together and in an hour get them to at least be in lock step. These guys were just walking together loosely in formation.
What Trump wanted far exceeds marching in step. But even just that requires regular practice, which the US military simply does not bother with. Exceptions being a few ceremonial guards.
Sure, but the important point is that they know how to do better than they did. They're refusing on purpose.
I know that's what I'd have done.
Oh, I agree with all of you guys. I think they half-assed it on purpose. I have some friends that are in some premier units in the military, and all of them have pretty much come out and said their commanders have told them they will not deploy in this country.
Like 'here's how you sabotage your gear then go home with your loved ones' kind of talks.
The military is not on his side.
He said what he fucking said
Frederick the Great's legacy shines irony on many a homopgobic leader
To explain and expand a bit on this: Frederick the Great was likely gay or at least somewhat queer, but also a military innovator who laid the basis for Prussia's iron discipline. Back then units were most effective when in perfect formation, but moving around the battlefield disrupted formation, hence the invention of the goose step to rapidly move units around on the battlefield without losing formation. Invented by a gay king.
So today we've got homophobic dictators emulating that for pure theatre and looks, over a century after it has lost any military purpose.
Additionally I've heard suspicion that some of the traditional pomp and theatrics that flow back to him are because he found it attractive.
If you've ever looked at all that dress military stuff snd thought that it just seemed a bit gayer than one would expect a military to get, just remember Frederick was that good. Like, made his small German kingdom into the European power of Prussia good.
All I can think of, is Monty Python's Close Order Nastiness. "We know where you've been, you military fairy! OOOOOH"