this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
331 points (98.3% liked)

Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

2169 readers
2 users here now

Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

Right now, here’s the rules:

  1. Posts must include an image or video containing food or drink.
  2. It must be unusual or cursed in some way. a. For example, something like Doritos Milk would be unusual, but normal milk would not.
  3. No AI posts whatsoever, and any images that were altered (Ex: Photoshop, Gimp) need to be tagged.

How to tag: To tag your posts, please prepend or append the tag name inside square brackets. For example,[OC] Foo bar baz or foo bar baz [Meta] would be acceptable. Multiple tags will require separate pairs of brackets, like so: [Edited][OC] foo bar baz

Here are the current tags:

Finished checking out all the posts here? Also checkout !shittyfoodporn@lemmy.ca!

(BTW, I’m looking for someone to help mod here! I myself would not be enough if this community goes beyond a few posts a day.)

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 38 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] zipzoopaboop@lemmynsfw.com 55 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Looks like testicles pulled out and boiled

[–] radicalautonomy@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Which is exactly what they'd have served you on Fear Factor.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 44 points 4 months ago (3 children)

This looks like the time I jerked off in the hot tub.

I’m never allowed at that house again.

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago

Some hot tub hosts have no humour.

[–] Lawnman23@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

Swimmers became streamers…

[–] ssm@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 4 months ago

Did you release one of your patented maggoty cum farts in the hot tub as well?

[–] match@pawb.social 20 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Manslaughter is an accident and a crime.

[–] metaStatic@kbin.earth 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

unless the prosecution hides the bullets for no reason

[–] The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org 1 points 4 months ago

Hey...i got that reference

[–] EfficientEffigy@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Foodslaughter then

[–] P1nkman@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Magnificent for halloween!

[–] MacNCheezus 14 points 4 months ago

Goes well with this (well, at least visually):

Alien Brain Hemorrhage

[–] bahbah23@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 16 points 4 months ago

the method requires to poach eggs on water with few drops of vinegar, not 100% vinegar

[–] SchmidtGenetics@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Helps hold the whites intact I believe? Maybe I was lied to about putting some vinegar in with boiled eggs to stop seepage if they crack?

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 months ago

My research into this previously had indicated this is an old wives tale. Don't take my word for it though, since I can't poach an egg to save my life.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Makes sense. Both acid and heat denature protein.

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, but typical white vinegar is 5% acetic acid. Putting a few drops, or even a teaspoon in a pot of water would reduce it to a negligible concentration and would have no effect on the eggs.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

That's also not really considering any chemical reaction with the calcium in the shell just neutralizing the vinegar anyway.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Legit though, a few drops of aged balsamic on eggs is amazing.

The "fake" balsamic, meaning regular vinegar that's flavored and colored to be kinda similar to aged balsamic, but lacks the best parts, is barely acceptable for salad dressing and roasting Brussels sprouts. And that's what was used here. Either that or they have way too much money to be wasting stuff that's as much as a hundred bucks for a small bottle that's meant to be used a few drops at a time.

[–] Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee -2 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Where the fuck are you spending 100 bucks on balsamic? It's €1 a bottle

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Not aged, DOP balsamic. And I specified the aged balsamic in my comment.

That stuff is aged in barrels until it's a thick, syrupy bit of heaven. A minimum of 25 years to meet the DOP standards.

The IGP standard for balsamic is less stringent, and it is cheaper, but you still aren't paying 1 euro for it anywhere that I could find online. It's more like 5 or 6 euro. It's essentially the same as the cheaper stuff; grape must added to other vinegar, but processed in Modena.

Here in the US a decent IGP balsamic is closer to 25 USD.

The cheapest aged balsamic I can get here is 35 a bottle, and it isn't DOP, it's made here in the states, and isn't aged as long; it goes 12 years. The DOP stuff can actually end up over 100 here by the time all the costs of it getting here get involved. And they're small bottles compared to the U.S. made aged stuff.

This is a decent IGP balsamic on us amazon

And here's a DOP that's supposedly amazing, but way outside my budget, so I'll never know

And this is just "balsamic" with no standard applied at all

I don't know if the listings there includes an ingredient list at all, but the pompeian is just cheap wine vinegar with some grape must and coloring added. It just isn't made in Italy at all, much less Modena.

And there is a major difference in taste, texture, and thickness between IGP and DOP, even on the cheapest DOP available here in the US (about 35 bucks, so not different in price grin the us made stuff). There's only minor taste difference between IGP and the typical stuff on grocery store shelves here. And I suspect that is down to the vinegar used as the base.

Aged DOP, or the equivalent regardless of where it's made, you treat it like the luxury it is. You put drops of it on things because that's all you need. You don't cook it at all because it destroys the flavor.

The process of aging the stuff is slow. You start the batch off in a big barrel. After a time,,a few years, the wood has sucked out water and imparted its own flavors. They'll then move it to a smaller barrel where it sits and gets further reduced and aged. By the time it's done, the original amount is down to a gallon or so, depending on exactly how the maker does things. That is then bottled.

So, it's a labor intensive, time consuming process. Even the least expensive stuff that's only aged 12 years or so that isn't DOP still represents a buttload of resources. You aren't going to find that for 1 euro. Even if it cost so little to make they could sell it for that, they wouldn't.

[–] HaleHirsute@infosec.pub 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I never knew anything about this ever but my interest in incredibly piqued now thank you.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago

No worries :)

You really gotta try some of the more affordable DOP stuff, it is an experience

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago
[–] FryHyde@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Wtf does vinegar have to do with poached eggs in the first place? Are they boiling a pot of vinegar for some reason?

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The vinegar helps the denaturation of the ovalbumin in the egg white which speeds up the solidification process and helps the egg hold its shape better.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've never heard the word ovalbumin before, but I like it. Albumin largely means protein, but it's using Latin words ovi (egg) and albus (white) so you're saying "the denaturation of the egg white in the egg white."

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 5 points 4 months ago

Ah, maybe! I'm a better cook than I am a student of Latin!

[–] baggins@beehaw.org 6 points 4 months ago

You put a small amount in the water to help keep them white apparently. But this only works if you use white (or clear) vinegar :-) 'Many professional chefs suggest adding approximately 1-2 tablespoons of vinegar to a pot of simmering water when poaching eggs. This amount provides enough acid to help coagulate the egg white while still allowing the natural flavours of the egg to shine through.'

[–] reattach@lemmy.world 1 points 4 months ago

To add to the other reply: it's just a splash of vinegar in a pot of boiling water.

https://www.allrecipes.com/article/hacks-to-master-poaching-eggs/

[–] ItzzMe@midwest.social 5 points 4 months ago

If I saw this godless sight, I’d never think to try and eat it anyways

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

I've never had a poached egg, and I didn't know that making them required vinegar. Seeing this makes me never want to try them even if done correctly.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 months ago

Now do apple cider vinegar.