update: 20 new signups from trans diy shenanigans

Any transmascs here? Shoutout to guys being guys, dudes being dudes. Dudes rock

New realisation: I have always needed the megathread in my life. It is not just the incredible sense of community and friendly trans comrades, but also just keepin' my head full of Gender related thoughts seems to improve my mental health and wellbeing. If I don't get enough, I get grouchy. Trans mega keeps me supplied.

Hexbear is a marxist transgender cult

Today I have been called he, she AND buddy by strangers I think I am finally reaching peak androgyny

Got prescribed HRT today

already getting new signups from reddit fucking with /r/transdiy

I missed the struggle session and I feel bad for opening the hatch again but I also want to share my ftm perspective (that might contain brainworms? idk)

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Firstly I guess I realised by reading all that shit how hard some trans women have it with the fucking stupid expectations society puts on women. I experience(d) it from an afab perspective and I was very sensitive to it where I was always super aware of my appearance and never comfortable if I wasn’t sure that all my hairs were in place (or removed), my skin looked smooth and my clothes were clean and proper but not too boring.

I super much relate to comparing oneself with the prettiest girls and realising that I’ll never look like that. When I look around me now I see that a lot women don’t conform to the expectations I had set for myself, and those women are just living their life being pretty and comfortable and nice. I literally felt like the world was ending anytime I had a pimple that I couldn’t hide with concealer or I realised that some part of me wasn’t shaven well. At some point I realised my fingers have hair and immediately felt like everyone around me was looking at it while thinking I’m gross, so from then on I had to shave my fucking fingers lol. I’m not really sure how me being trans masc influenced this obsession I had with conforming to all femme expectations. Maybe I thought if I reached my impossible goal of femme perfection I would finally feel more connected to my body?

I stopped shaving at all a while ago because I realised that I didn’t dislike my bodily hair, I was just scared that other people would find my hair gross. Now that I realised I’m trans I stopped doing most of the things I used to do to appear like a proper feminine women and I notice a difference in how people look at me and talk to me. I get dirty looks sometimes and people seem more hesitant to approach me. This reaction was basically my biggest fear when I was younger and now I’m just learning to live with it because letting strangers dictate how I look and behave is silly and it made me very unhappy.

I sympathise a lot with trans women who struggle with these same insecurities and high expectations and I can imagine that adding being trans to the mix can make those feelings much worse.

When I read the part about cis women being lucky for having to put in no effort to look femme I felt a bit defensive about it though because of my own struggle with appearing femme enough even though I was born with the femme hormones.

But it also made me realise that me being trans masc makes it so much easier for me to deal with that internal struggle I had because I now know that I definitely don’t have to live up to the expectations of a gender I don’t identify with, and it feels like a huge weight taken off of my shoulders.

I’ll end my long train of thoughts by adding that I’m proud of this space for having some great posters with really good views on gender constructs to help combat unhealthy gender expectations.

at PP getting my blood drawn

"and your current method of STD prevention is abstinence?"

jesus fucking christ i've never been so burned in a professionally sounding way in my life

I wish I could leave my house without feeling intimidated by everyone I pass

CW: internal transphobia prolly

I live in constant fear of other people's judgment
That men will think I am some gay weakling who should be made fun of or beat up
That women will think I am some gross fake whose attempts at femininity are pitiful and insulting
That children will be afraid of me for being a guy
That old people will think I am some removed corrupted youth
I am in this limbo where I fear being too feminine and not enough

It was not cool for Biden to pull out of his re-election campaign just so the news mega could try and top the trans mega.

trying to pass as a cis woman online by putting she/her/hers in my bio instead of just she/her

People who say I'm cute are all part of a globalist conspiracy to make me feel better

My sister said she wants to take my plushies, girl fuck you you're a grown ass woman get your own octopus plushie

Sick again. This is my life post COVID. Sick every 2 months.

Before COVID, I could go a year without getting sick.

Now, it's the same symptoms every time which I never had before COVID.

Things are overlapping in a really bad way right now, and I'm finding it difficult to handle. I really need a break. I need things to just go right for a little bit.

Edit: between this and my train post, who keeps upbearing my suffering? Show yourselves!

Getting more in shape has really made me hate my body less.

Sometimes I forget about my gender in the same way I forget to eat. Like I’ll just boymode for a week straight with no reprieve and then wonder why I’m depressed.

A win for trans people: yesterday I finally sewed belt loops onto my DIY bondage pants (a year after making them)

Have a consult for bottom surgery tomorrow. Feeling so excited!

Also I read the Parenti quote for a friend who hadn’t heard it and the first thing they said is “I love your voice.” Really makes me so fucking happy whenever anyone compliments my voice after voice training.

One thing I hate hearing when I tell people I’m Guatemalan is “oh! We go there every year for missionary work!”

They always give me the “you can’t paint people with a broad brush” bullshit when they’re responsible for introducing queer phobia to communities that didn’t have any before they showed up. Fucking hate missionaries.

Good lord, that girl in the mirror's lips were not that full a few weeks ago

I LOVE MY TRANS COMRADES goodnight trans mega, most beloved of all internet threads.

I can't stand all the fucking doomer takes itt. I'm so fucking tired of all this brainwormed nonsense everywhere, i need to log off.

Thank god I never used /tttt/

menstruation dysphoria

I hate that a few days a month I lose all my functions because my menstruation starts which always takes me by surprise because keeping track means thinking about it which means massive loads of dysphoria. I just can’t view myself as human anytime it happens and the pain and the grossness of it make it that I have to be aware of it every minute even at night because I often can’t sleep due to pain and feeling bloated.

Shouts out to ibuprofen and ice cream and chocolate and soda and youtube and my bed for helping me through it.

Some of you may remember, but I shaved my legs for the first time a few days ago (maybe close to a week now, yikes). I had been wanting to do that for years and years, before my egg broke. But I thought people would see it as "girly" so I didn't. I grinned and put up with it.

Chat no one has said a word about it. I have wasted years with hairy ass legs and no one even cares that they aren't hairy anymore. I mean looking back maybe I was a little too worried, but I thought for sure someone would say something. Nope.

The moral here is I am a silly girl, and am done trying to do things to appease others (they might not even care!).

Have had a rough week and a half, but I feel that things are starting to sorta come out the other side. Though who knows since I just got hit with PMS and a nasty migraine.

On the bright side, I had my consultation with my surgeon today for top surgery. Because my rib cage is colossal, they recommended we immediately start with the largest implants they've got, even with the fairly substantial breasts that have already grown on me. Kinda sucks because it seems that no matter what I would've done, unless the gods themselves intervened with my breast growth, it seems horribly unlikely I could've naturally reach a point where I would've wanted to be anyways. So be it I suppose. Implants it'll have to be.

I will say that it did feel good that the nurse who takes pictures had to ask if I had gotten breast augmentation yet or not.

I looked on reddit, i should not have looked on reddit. I am so grateful for the hexbear code of conduct 🙏

i took an honest to goddess selfie AND I LIKED IT first time baybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Our gayest mega yet!

I have been doing a fantastic job deworming myself, truly massive progress. Thank you all for the help, and just for being awesome.

Death to society for burdening me with them for so long. Anyway I'm going to be trans girl vibing

news mega shutting down international travel and banking to try overtaking the trans mega in comments was not ok

As some of you may have seen, I recently found an old bracelet of mine. This has caused a whole flood of memories, which I would like to share.

sad memories but feel good about them now

spoiler trans person being bullied, hospital I remember making bracelets pre puberty with my sister, and loving it. I'd make rubber band bracelets and bead ones. I loved wearing them, until I was teased for wearing one (I vividly remember the color it was, my favorite at the time) and it being a girly thing to do. I stopped wearing and making them after that. Later, as a teen, I remember feeling so much (what I know now) gender envy towards girls for wearing them. I remember being in the hospital later then this, and feeling (again what I know now) gender euphoria from getting to wear one. I could not explain it at the time but I just loved wearing that thing. I might still have one somewhere around here. And now, here that old bracelet from before puberty is, as I prepare myself to come out and transition.

Also I found some of the beads I used to use to make bracelets with, plan on making another with them. :::

Anyway that's enough posting from me for tonight, good night I love all of you.

Love arguing with other trans people on tumblr about electoralism

>wake up

>feel like dogshit

All I do is bitch and gripe in here. Worlds whiniest trans lesbian thats me

i thirst for estrogen. every week i start craving another shot just a couple days after my weekly injection. i wont do it bc ik theres no benefit of having super high E levels but it makes me happy to take my fem meds. i just wanna fast forward a few years and be stacked. cant wait to see my bloodwork in a couple months. im about to have grad student health insurance and i think thats p decent bc teaching hospitals are usually solid and LGBTQ friendly. life is good :)

I'm a gayed

Spooning

dysphoria surrounding lack of a uterus

I swear to the fucking gods I wish this shit would die. It blindsides me at the worst points for no reason whatsoever. I hope to the gods that it just eventually dies out and I stop thinking about it otherwise I'm going to have to live with it for the next 20 years until I hit menopausal years.

Yes, I want a uterus. Yes, I want to have children. No, I can never do it. Shut up brain. Get over it. There's not a fucking thing you can do about it.

Sorry for weird euphoria posting, but it's insane how nice my lips look after 6 months of estrogen.

Another day of my trans girl life

Outperforming the news mega on the same day it became officially Joever is wild

So grateful for my trans comrades in the megathread. Really gets me thinking how our transcestors could have transitioned without community.

Updates on Lee Carter but not in the way you would expect
CW: abuse of several kinds mentioned

honestily getting real tired of "allies" that lecture me on queer issues. Can't go into detail bc it was a very specific discussion, but the people struggling to keep track of my pronouns and gender identity don't get to hold lectures on queer palestinians (especially since THEY were also white and they were not able to call it a genocide, opposed to me, lmao)

downloaded ableton, time to make some noisy music