charcoal
wifi enabled
What. Charcoal grills are just metal boxes you put burning stuff in, it's not like there's a flow of gas from a tank to be regulated or any sort of control to it, it's just lumps of carbon that are on fire.
this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse
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What if metal box you put burning stuff in... but cloud computed on the blockchain, with a subscription? 
This is also a smoker, meaning you could be cooking things for 8+ hours. You can control temperature and smoke remotely this way.
Yoo what if they meant the charcoal had WiFi in it?
the wifi is critical for connecting your burgers' datamodeling to azure services and getting multivariate analytics on global burger output, regional cheese differentials, and go-to-market scenarios that will tee up deliverables ahead of the curve.
getting realtime feedback on all your key burger characteristics for a user demand driven production experience will enhance your operational efficiency through a strategic optimization of production framework. Nothing satisfies hunger like benchmarking cloud-ready synergies.
In this house we follow a strict data-driven burger paradigm
i need to see the p90 of burg temperature
BaaS
You speak their language well. Were you forced to work amongst them?
This is just Juicero for 
isn't it?
No, juicero was actually built bizarrely well from a purely mechanical perspective this thing is probably built like shit.
It was except that the intended use of the device was fucking pointless. Squeezing the bag did the same thing!
Yes it was a stupid fucking product and had no reason to exist but those gears sure are pretty. I bet this stupid wifi grill is all cheap pot metal and rusts out in a year though.
Salvaging those bazinga devices for premium parts gets my full support.
cool cyberpunk future where scavengers roam the suburban wastes for high tech grills to harvest parts
I wonder if dungeon crawls of the future will involve cracking open bazinga billionaire bunkers to look for treasure, food stockpiles, and slaves to liberate. 
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
This is how many burgers it can cook on average before bricking.
We just hit 51 burgers!
She's losing wifi SHE'S GONNA BRICK!!
we lost her. we LOSTT HEEERRRRR. 
Burger Count looking for his Hot Dog Countess
love a fucking wifi enabled grill lmao. love to be 
while
Death to America
It's got charcoal support? Damn
My potato count is higher than my burger count
How many burgers can you grill in your mind at once? That’s your burgerscore
Rotating a beef patty in my mind rn
Do I count the pre-existing burger tulpa I keep for when I'm hungry
Wifi aside, does that mean it can fit 51 burger patties? Who's actually smoked burgers before? Does it taste good?
I fucking hate how every appliance has to connect to the wifi now. It's a fucking grill! It grills burgers! I don't want to try to grill a burger only for the bloody thing to brick itself because of a bad firmware update!
This must be the next way to market to insecure bazingas after "dude wipes:" things that were already seen as "manly" now getting a techbro bazinga veneer on top of that.
Trucks? Already "manly." Time to ZYBERTRUKKK it! After all, it's what John Blade Runner would drive! 
"My grill has a 51 Burger Count"
"lol, 'Americans will measure with anything besides the metric system', right?"
"No, I only measure in Burger Count"
one for every state and one for me
69 veggie burgers
2 maybe 3 max
42069 🤣🤣🤣