this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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just being in the midwest, thats what i mostly date, and theyre nothing special.

Theyre just people like any other woman.

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[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 35 points 4 months ago

If you are obsessed with The White Race and view women as objects, white women are the ultimate commodity.

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 33 points 4 months ago (4 children)

They're just people

That's what I like to think when it comes to these kinds of matters, but so many people needlessly and toxically make a huge deal out of race when it comes to dating, even though there are many reasonable people who literally just don't give a shit about race in their partners.

As someone in an interracial relationship consisting of me, a black transfem enby, and a white cis woman, there is this common tendency to make race such a big deal in the context of romantic relationships to a point where interracial couples are practically always, in the eyes of somebody, interpreted as some kind of special trope with some underlying dynamic.

On one hand, I understand on some level why POC might get a little iffy if their child starts dating a white person because sometimes those awful dynamics, such as internalized racism, fetishism, etc., do exist in interracial relationships. For most POC who have these qualms about interracial couples, I find that it's not typically rooted in the anti-race-mixing, "genetic purity" fash kinda thought but rather legitimate concerns about oppressive mentalities.

However, the hasty assumption that any interracial couple you see inherently has something problematic going on is really fucking frustrating for me. I have gotten people who would say things built on the assumption that I care about race in my partners, such as "You must not like dating black people, "White women must click best with you," "What race do you prefer to date?" and it's like STOP.

Me and my partner, alongside any other non-black person I've dated, are two people in a relationship, and that's it. We happen to be of different races, yes, but some people I've dated are left-handed, whereas I'm right-handed. Are we going to go crazy over that now too?

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

people who would say things built on the assumption that I care about race in my partners, such as "You must not like dating black people, "White women must click best with you,"

How is it that I, an autistic person, have more social awareness than these people

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

People, especially family members, get even weirder about interracial relationships when you have a child. The amount of weird inappropriate racial oriented comments my partner and I get about our relationship or our young child's appearance/behavior is super exhausting

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Don't worry the comments in my family started before I even got into a serious relationship, yet alone had a child! It's so disturbing, I (am a white guy) brought up casually dating a black woman and family members (especially my mom and grandmother) immediately jumped to weird comments about the appearance of my hypothetical future children. The comments gave me the creeps. I know they were trying to be endearing in some messed up way, but it still gave me the ick.

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

but some people I've dated are left-handed, whereas I'm right-handed. Are we going to go crazy over that now too?

Yes you need to become left handed, it makes you more leftister ha ha ha ha!

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

"Leftism is when you're left-handed, and the more left-handed you are, the more leftister you are."

~ Carl Mark Lenin

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's true, if you're left footed as well you become a super leftist! Just the facts of the situation.

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is that what those "ultra-leftists" are getting at? thonk

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

They're those that are left handed, left footed and left brained. Truely a combination for the history books, or armchairs

[–] blight@hexbear.net 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] FearsomeJoeandmac@hexbear.net 26 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So on the part of Asian incels coveting white women, Its just internalized racism due to colonialism?

[–] blight@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago

pretty much yeah

[–] CyborgMarx@hexbear.net 30 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Because historically TV, beauty marketers and white supremacist culture in general imply those are the only kind of women worth pursuing

Incels are led around by their easily manipulated emotions and many of them are also racists, so most of them regardless of race develop a dehumanized hypersexual fixation on white women as status symbols

[–] FunkyStuff@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago

cw incel, racism, misogyny

Because of what whiteness and womanhood are, identities constructed to justify systems of power and domination. Incels are alienated from a system they feel is supposed to give them ownership of white womanhood, which enrages them and drives them to violence.

I guess that begs the question of why they want to dominate white women specifically, which I think you can just reject and say they wanna dominate all women. What makes them desire white women is plain old white supremacy. Case cracked?

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago

Because the Venn diagram of incels and Nazis is just a circle.

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure Elliot was a racist, and hated that he was like half-asian. He wasn't even that ugly he was just too much of a weirdo idiot and had a huge ego, to date women.

[–] Flyberius@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

I wouldn't say he was ugly at all.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Are they still obsessing over protecting white women? Last I heard from groypers they were on that kill all women shit.

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Pure superstructure... zizek

[–] FearsomeJoeandmac@hexbear.net 12 points 4 months ago

Its both. Depending on the degree of inceldom

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

Imagine that meme with the sweaty guy looking down at two buttons

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

Elliot Rodger wanted to kill all women except a secret harem just for himself. Nazis don't do consistency well.

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago (1 children)

White people in general are highly coveted around the world. Colonization and the mass export of Western media plays a big part in this.

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Because most people in the West are white supremacists, especially incels

[–] Iwishiwasntthisway@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago

Attainment of women is more about status to them than even sexual gratification. White women are the most universally accepted status symbol.

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

the conditions of their lives and their social inputs, both produced by capitalist forces, leads them to ideologically pursue particular notions of gender and sex that are contingent upon enacting violence, objectification, and ownership on women in general and white women in particular. the particular objectification of european women under capitalism has been explored by silvia federici in her seminal text Caliban and the Witch. the general objectification of women globally and panhistorically is a prominent feature of david graeber's Debt. in particular, there's a common thread of violent social relations and a notion of ownership that is pervasive in especially traditional and historic western notions of family and the law. the point though is simple: assert social control through violence, the flavor of which is a negotiation with history.

[–] blight@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

interesting and i think i agree but did you have to use the word “seminal”?

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

michael-laugh no i suppose i didn't

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

Assuming most incels are white, incels, an extremely right-wing group of folks see nothing but utter contempt for relationships with people of different races. Even Asians are only conditionally tolerated because "your cartoons amuse the great white man, peasant-race!"

[–] GayTuckerCarlson@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

White women are just as beautiful and worthy of worship as any other women

[–] FearsomeJoeandmac@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Where did i say anything different?

Kind of a weird response. I dont "worship" anybody.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] FearsomeJoeandmac@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

I hope so. Christ.

[–] abc@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (1 children)

personally I think if any woman (white, black, latina, etc) had let Elliot Rodger hit, he probably would've turned out normal lmao but unfortunately he gave off terrible vibes so I can't blame all the women he was surrounded by for not letting him hit and his parents were pretty shit "son I've asked my friend, the guy who wrote My Cousin Vinny, to correspond with you via email about picking up women" ?????

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

personally I think if any woman (white, black, latina, etc) had let Elliot Rodger hit, he probably would've turned out normal lmao

Countless women can attest that shitty, entitled men do not just get better once they've had sex.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The "BAAAAANG" creep, "RooshV," arguably got worse as he coerced, manipulated, and did worse to raise his personal "body count."

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

Ahh the original online pick up artist dude, proto Andrew Tate. An incredible weirdo.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What happened to Rooshes I through IV, anyway

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 4 points 4 months ago

There can BAAAAANG only one! kelly

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago

If anything, women in relationships with those types of men are more likely to get murdered because it turns out getting a GF doesn't fix all of your problems. The former incel turns into the abusive fuckwad he always was and feels even more entitled to his partner's being. If she slights him in any way or tries to leave, he will physically hurt her.

If Elliot Rodger ever got a girlfriend, she would be in a controlling, abusive relationship and we know through hindsight he'd have killed her.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

They're Nazis, op

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

White supremacy and misogyny are part of the same reactionary circles and feed into one another in many different ways. Sometimes it is just as simple as rejecting all ideas of social progress and thereby embracing your new ingroup more thoroughly. Though these groups are not self-consistent, so you eventually reach absurdities. For example, that guy had some east Asian heritage that would have excluded him from ever being truly accepted in the circles he coveted.

The specific details and paths can vary, though. I knew a woman whose family heritage was basically half French and half Chinese (she was herself American). Within the family, there was a ton of white supremacy that favored the French half and looked down on the Chinese half and this peemeated her upbringing. She felt shame at anything that made her feel Chinese in any way and exclusively dated white guys (though she never stated she had a rule about this). So even though this aligns pretty well with my generalizations, in her case there were very specific fucked up family dynamics and her upbringing to blame.

This is the usual way things are, really. The larger social forces echo down through our immediate personal relations, how we are raised, who we interact with, what media we are exposed to, etc, and it is possible to miss that forest for the trees.

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Within the family, there was a ton of white supremacy that favored the French half and looked down on the Chinese half and this peemeated her upbringing.

Bleh, I relate to this. I got bullied a lot at school at the height of anti-Japanese fervour in Australia (90s, Pauline Hanson, Japanese tourist jokes). I'm sure I would have gotten bullied anyway for other reasons, but 5-13 year old me excised a lot of Japanese traits (mostly being able speak the language) and leaned more into the British side of the family.

This was also during a time where anime was getting more popular with Australian youth. Very confusing, but also I wasn't allowed to watch TV so idk if tgat mattered.

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 3 points 4 months ago

Sorry you had to deal with that! I'm sure you processed it the only way you knew how. I hope you're doing better now.