This is truth, not satire.
this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2024
738 points (98.8% liked)
The Onion
4698 readers
774 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
And yet the jester is usually the wisest in the court.
And also incredibly depressed
Wisecracking isn't the same as being happy
Felt this since I was a child.
Smart enough to realize everything is shit is a real debilitating condition and honestly, one doesn't haven't to be very smart to realize that.
I don't remember being interviewed.
That's because you're a dumbass. Happy now?
You know what? Yes, yes I am!
Man Wishes He Was Dumb Enough to Be Happy All the Time
The prescription is 'tussin + alcohol, like in that one episode of House M.D.
This is sadly very true.... and also doxylamine, trazodone, melatonin, etc...
I often also feel this way, although I also look at a lot of voting-aged people in the US and realize that being that dumb usually just means you are angry all the time.
I don't recall giving consent to writing a story about my life.....
This hit me at my core.
and that's how folks transition into puppygirls.
Oh good, I was hoping to find a transition comment here as I felt the same way for a long time 😅
And I want to make it clear I'm not even complaining OR criticizing! XD
It's wholesome in a peculiar way: people who want to embrace simple joy, and to love others with the same unbridled enthusiasm as dogs do? That's beautiful and sweet deep down at the heart of it.
Even though I KNOW that for many it's a "sex thing"... Honestly so what. Anyone who doesn't like it can choose to do literally anything else with their time.
I've stopped caring about pointless judgement, moralizing pearl clutching hand wringing self-righteous hysterical theatrics... What a waste of time and energy when instead happiness is actually an option.
Maybe it's jealousy. How dare someone be happy, right? Whatever! Let them be goodgirls. There are few things more harmless than that.
I don't think I could ever play the role of an "owner" (apparently that's a thing) but I'm happy when I see them, in the same way I'm happy when I see dogs. Because I see dogs.
I mean, for most of petplay people I know it's much more of an everyday thing than a sex thing. Which makes sense, since that's generally more of a furry thing. It's less about being an animal and more about being someone's pet, very gentle sub and dom stuff. There's a good tumblr post
petplay? oh you mean that kink for burnt-out neurodivergent people with abandonment issues who need simple easy directions and assurance that the person giving them will still be there at the end of the night. yeah i got you i know what you're talking about
And like, mood.
load more comments
(2 replies)
I feel this one, but Vin Diesel is actually a decent actor? Find Me Guilty is a banger, Boiler Room is solid, he was good in Saving Private Ryan and he was The Iron Giant ffs
Like Adam Sandler, Vin Diesel can act but chooses a lot of projects that do the opposite of showcasing that skill.
I would say that he’s a better actor than The Rock, but he’s not winning any acting awards anytime soon.
Some days it feels like it would be easier to take a ball peen hammer to my prefrontal cortex than deal with the rest of my species.
Too smart to be happy too dumb to be successful.
Dunno about that, plenty of dumb successful people out there, this world ain't a fair one.
He just like me fr
It's me. I'm the man who wishes he was dumb enough to be happy all the time.
Is the intelligent thing not to be to recognise when things are out of your control and put them out of your mind
Depends on the reaching of the action, even if the event was out of their control but going to impact them, say an invasion or war breaking out at their location it'd be warranted. However in a general sense I agree, it causes undue stress if there's nothing directly they can change.
People thinking like that is how we get some people fighting for rights, the current fight may not directly impact them but they can see how it'll impact things in the near future when more rights are changed. I mostly agree with not adding undue stress but sometimes it can be difficult to know when it's undue or warranted because it can happen quickly once the ball starts rolling.
Putting things out of your mind doesn't mean you can't take action though
If the only reasonable thing I can do to make a change to a situation is to cast a vote there's no point worrying about it until I actually have the opportunity to do that
I see what you're saying, when you said put it out of your mind it more sounded like forget about it, which isn't helpful when people see a problem, but you have to know what you can reasonably impact. There is usually more that can be done but time and money are limited. Many people don't have the time to campaign for ideas which in itself is an issue with the way things are run in my opinion.
I do find it crazy that despite all the technological advancement to save everyone time we just ended up spending all that free time working
fr
I feel seen!
I'm too dumb to be happy!
I've seen this on an episode of House MD
*any of the time ftfy
"Better to be an animal than a man, an insect than an animal, a plant than an insect, and so on.
Salvation? Whatever diminishes the kingdom of consciousness and compromises its supremacy."
Yup.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Idk, republicans don't really seem to be a happy bunch.
Dumb people are not happy most of the time. They're perpetually angry and afraid because rich people manipulate them to be that way
view more: next ›