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[CW: language, transphobia] They finally figured out why trans people love fallout so much
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The news has reached Maddy :)
this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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Geez I'm CIS and in my 30s and only now do I learn that I can double jump? How do I do it?
Why is nobody here showing sick pakour with double jumps
ok so who wrote this
I know people are saying this must be a troll, but seeing as how “in a Petersonian sense, to elevate alternative sexual archetypes in the marketplace (‘fastest Mario’) was unironically posted by a chud, I’d buy that this is earnest.
Think about the phrase "fully automated luxury Communism" in the context of "speedrunning" and I strongly suspect that things will start to 'click' in your mind.
"do not naturally possess" implies that trans folks possess the ability to double jump, but through unnatural means.
The unnatural means are cursed Canadian mountains btw.
is it possible to learn this power?
Not from a cishet. 
One of the side effects of HRT
Goddamn, I being a cis dude is so fucking boring.
I want a double jump so goddamn bad.
Is it trans to main scout in TF2?
Celeste - a platformer which gives gender-confused people unrealistic power fantasies (such as the ability to double jump, which they do not naturally possess).
You cannot convince me that this wasn't written by an infiltrator
Yeah no way this wasn't a troll
Is this a bit? It’s too funny to be conservative drivel and too media literate on top. 
Conservapedia regularly has stuff I can only assume are jokes. Like there's a review of American Psycho on there that says something like "despite the patriotic title, this movie is very liberal"
cant double jump
skill issue 
Satan worship is when you are a vampire machine invading hell to literally feast on the blood of demons.
If you're one of the nerds who bother to dive into the quasi-ARG metaplot, it does drive home the point that God is the bad guy and that Lucifer literally did nothing wrong in this universe.
The only thing I know about this game is that the funny voice man voices the funny angel man
im curious what this website has to say about doom
important question to add to the trans survey: are you able to double jump irl?
Yeah need to know this ASAP
Check it out, they've never seen a trans person double jump before 
I may not be able to double-jump, but I can hover in mid-air for a second
At least you can avoid fall damage, I made a mistake speccing into high jump.
Wow, they're aware of the satirical elements of Fallout, color me surprised.
Conservatives be like: "they lied to us! We didn't know that transitioning could be as cool as getting a leg upgrade in Mega Man X!"
I guess parkour and jumping heel clicks are trans now? TIL
By this chud logic, does this mean Arthur from Super Ghouls and Ghosts is trans? 
The trans-fantasy of dying many, many times to various ghosts and goblins
Well he runs around in his underwear when hit and it's got hearts on it, and we all know trans folk love hearts 
Hell yeah we do
(such as the ability to double jump, which they do not naturally possess).
YOU FUCKERS LIED TO ME.