askchapo

give everyone cookies and soy milk :niko-happy:

Theyd probably force me to write shitty poetry or something

Doing a whiteface minstrel show.

closet liberal

Daily provider of minimum one (1) cool bug that I found outside

Spreadsheet maker

Assistant trailer park supervisor

Layabout

I'm the guy forcing all of the poets to mine coal and all of the coal miners to write poetry.

Propaganda poster artist

I'll sort everyone into their houses. Sorry, you're Slitherin 😔

I make chili and cornbread in industrial vats. We tell you that it's vegan, but the beanis are actually the ground up remains of beanis posters from badposting.

I'm the cook. My specialties are delicious hearty meals and hormones.

as much as i would like to be the cute trans librarian there also needs to be a strong agricultural workforce in order to make shit work so I guess Ill work the fields, ill bring my copy of Four Season Harvest though! it could be really cool!

Animal handler. There's going to be so many furry friends it'll be a full time job to keep them out of trouble.

I just hope all the routers are gone so I don't have to ever touch one again. Maybe I could be a beekeeper or something where being psychotically detail oriented is harmless

I'll be making liquor. There's a good chance I end up consuming a large chunk of it though

Cum Retrieval Specialist

Beanis harvesting

Who need they spreadsheet mined?

But probably general maintenance. My favorite jobs were all fixing stuff: engines, guns, lasers, robots, computers, music gear, etc.

Toilet hrt technician

If possible, I'd love to work on modernizing the ancient spaghetti that holds up modern software infrastructure. Please let me be the people's rewriter in rust.

i can reinstall windows or macos for you

i also give great massages

Unironically I'd love to help the cooking comrades.

However if we needed a teacher for writing or other humanities stuff I could cover that.

I could also work in the gulag as a friend for coop play.

My post-apocalyptic commune fantasy has been to be the gruff older guy who's secretly a softie, who fixes machines and gadgets, or build new ones out of scrap that the young whippersnappers haul back to the commune.

Dirt master

I can make nuclear weapons so we can defend ourselves.

Small business owner

rock stacker

that's not the workplace, it's my job title

I can produce our podcast (we're going to have a podcast, right?) and help maintain our fleet of bicycles. Possibly trains and/or tanks too, as needed.

i can do lots of handyperson stuff excluding plumbing or carpentry (but can learn). im not a tradesperson but do good DIY work and have plenty of tools

also clean and cook. if you let me i'll see where i fall on the femme-butch scale when i wake up each day and assign me tasks based on that

Linux Distribution Maintainer (I occasionally edit a NixOS config file)

Professor

(Antiwork joke aside, I'll probably end up doing a lot of dishes and occasionally fixing things)

I can bake a mean loaf of bread.