!CW Venting, social dysphoria:!<

!Feeling kind of shitty and just generally lost in my transition. There's a lot of stuff about it that feels daunting and that I don't know how to move forward with. Lately I've been wishing I had a cis girl friend who could help me out, and be a kind of 'big sister' I could go to for advice. But most of the women I'm friends with are very butch, and haven't felt super equipped to help me. And the one friend I have who has been able to help, moved multiple States away, and while she's been able to help me with some stuff, the distance has impacted our friendship, and I'm just feeling sad about the whole thing!<

Bureaucrat posting has been a wholesome ending to site drama

I've started saying "yippee" as a reaction a lot more since starting HRT

I love my trans comrades

Sick of being constantly ignored by my friend whenever i try to reach out

CW dysphoria:

going outside in the same make-up i passed out in yesterday because it's brat summer

My breaking bad hyperfixation is the most obsessed anyone has ever been about something

For some reason my tax refund got super delayed this year, but I finally got it! First time in forever I don't feel broke. Time to get some cute winter outfits

Hi, I'm new here

Last year someone in my ap computer science class came out as trans, our teacher told us that the student wanted to tell us something, and people were like "did [deadname] die?" and the teacher said that the student wanted to go by a different name and pronouns. Then someone goes said that he wouldn't use she/her pronouns to refer to someone who doesn't look like a girl. At least some people were respectful, though. The point is, I can't trust the people around me to not be bigoted, although most of the people in that class, have graduated. The trans student was very cool though, she was one of the only students who took the class seriously (I think there might be something in the computers turning people trans!) and was probably a gamer. Too bad she also graduated. I'm not a gamer and I don't have anything interesting about myself. I kind of looked up to her, even though I didn't identify as trans.

My whole life has been a lie of pretending to be someone that I'm not. I'm a minor, and I live with my parents in the wonderful state of Florida, where woke goes to die. I have reason to believe that my parents are transphobic. My family is Catholic. I am not, but they don't know that. I have been pretending for years. I don't say anything about how I feel about my gender.

I am growing more body hair every day. It's awful, and I don't think I've ever had this much. As much as I would like to do something about it, I am scared of what other people would say. I don't even know how to remove it without accidentally hurting myself.

I feel like a robot. I do the same stuff every day, and by that I mean that I don't do anything. I just do my schoolwork, and school gets repetitive. It distracts me from thinking. But guess what, when I do think, I just think about how I want to be a girl, and then I get sad. But I don't actually get sad, since I don't feel my emotions very deeply.

::: spoiler Read at your own risk CW: autogynephilia I think I might have that? But also maybe not? I mean, it can be arousing to imagine myself as a woman? But also I can think of myself as a woman and not be aroused? Autogynephilia has been one of those things that makes me question if I'm really trans. Most research on trans women does make a distinction between two types of trans people, those who find out early and are attracted to men, and those who find out later and are attracted to women, and sometimes have autogynephilia. Yes, I know that this research is stupid. That doesn't help. I still think about it. Also, I'm not really sure if I meet the criteria for gender dysphoria from a transmed perspective. Wikipedia shows the dsm description, but it says that it has to cause clinically significant distress or an impairment in functioning. The thing is, I do well in school, and to most people, especially adults, I appear well functioning. But I don't know, I don't have many friends and no one that I am close to, but I don't think that gender issues are what is causing this?

If you made it this far, I'm sorry for putting you through all of this. I'm okay, even if it sounds like I'm not.

Well I'm starting Naltrexone today. I really hope it's enough to keep me out of rehab

Webfishing clocked both me and my sister. The first chest she opened awarded her the pan title, and the first chest I opened awarded me the bi title. How did it know these things? This doesn't change the fact that I'm still going to run the Good Girl title though.

I play it cool here, but every week, in my head I'm like, "this is the week I'm going to tell them I'm actually a cis guy and that I can't post with them anymore 😭"

Lmao so deranged

I misread the "Linux" on her shirt as "Ligma" multiple times. Deadass. I keep having to double check.

might have gotten a wee tipsy last night

If I backtrack on this in a week, I'm blaming the carousel

it's funny how two drinks can legitimately get me drunk. a good value too. I just watched the menu and that was good and ate bean borgors

I also did my injection today finally

I'm planning for the future too

I really hope people to believe in me when I say things about myself and how I feel

goodnightt

Watched ~~part of~~ a voice training video and now youtube thinks I'm serious. Stop reminding me of my weakness

i am constantly bullied every time i want to say something on here. people from all around the world gather to call me "pee pee girl" and push my face into the dirt...

When I'm around new people who I've introduced myself as my chosen name to, I feel comfortable and amazing and more able to be myself. But when I'm around people I already knew before beginning this journey, I feel this weird tension and I'm not sure what to make of it.

I remember jumping into the trans coffin in dark souls 2 and never noticing the effect since I was always beef jerky in armor was in for a surpise when I used an effigy and changed armor

girl facts I wish I knew sooner: apparently the longer your hair gets, the LESS often you're supposed to wash it wtf. i thought i was supposed to wash it more. this probably explains why my hair is always going fucking everywhere

trans linux mascot

I was absent for a few weeks. Sure glad decades didn't happen in the meantime

OH MY GOSH I almost forgot to mention some progress I made today. I was trying to set up Bluetooth in the car, and it always repeats certain phrases back at me. I dread it for this exact reason, and I've avoided setting it up until now with that being one of many reasons. However, it had to happen, so I went to do it and put on my best fem voice. Imagine my shock when it spits my voice back out at me, and it sounds like a mature woman! I don't even know how I did it, and I don't want to listen to it again in case it ruins what might be magic, but in that moment I felt such intense euphoria. I then enjoyed the convenience of having my music on Bluetooth while no longer having to deal with my static-ridden aux cable.

TW: Discussion of health

Lost so much shit since I started wearing women's pants. I keep not bringing a purse because I think I won't need it then I just feel my wallet slip out of my pocket after a minute of walking

In my wife’s Snuggie; got that girl stank going on

Trans ppl r cool, so says the happy puppy