this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Codandchips@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago
[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 163 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (6 children)

pissing standing up

I sit on my throne like a king.

[–] Glide@lemmy.ca 69 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I sit down every time I go to piss because it's one if the few places where I can be sure I'll be left alone. It's not about the piss. It's about the break.

[–] masterbaexunn@lemmy.world 48 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It's also about not spraying piss all over my floor

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[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Someone doesn't just get followed into the bathroom I see.

[–] Glide@lemmy.ca 2 points 23 hours ago

Thank fuck, tbh.

[–] systemglitch@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

And tuck them like a eunuch.

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[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 day ago (3 children)

ok, sidepoint, but the other day I realized that urinals are just dedicated walls for people to pee on and I think that's really sweet

[–] killingspark@feddit.org 7 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I've got news for you, on festivals there are sometimes literal metal walls to piss on with a drain beneath.

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[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Okay then explain to me why every time you go to stand in front of one, your boss walks in and stands next to you starts talking to you about quarterly projections while you're trying to squeeze a single drop of pee as you sweat and pretend to be at all thinking or caring about work.

[–] crowbar@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How is that sweet im curious

[–] wetsoggybread@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Well its probably sweet if you're diabetic

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

My mom used to say it sounded like a horse pissing onto a flat rock whenever I went to the bathroom. To which I would say "Gross! Why are you listening to me use the bathroom?!"

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 61 points 2 days ago

Only in a greentext will OP talk about their family members getting horny over little things

[–] Ibuthyr@lemmy.wtf 32 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You guys with your weird water-to-the-brim toilets. My first encounter with an American toilet made me think it was clogged. So I pissed outside to satiate my feral needs.

[–] unknown1234_5@kbin.earth 17 points 2 days ago (7 children)

the hell kind of toilet were you using? they usually have water in like the bottom third and the water level only goes up for a moment when you flush.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 1 day ago

That's just because they don't have water in European toilets, they flush by spitting into the toilet until the poo goes down.

[–] Tiefkuehlkost@feddit.org 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I use a nice "watch-your-shit" toilet

[–] unknown1234_5@kbin.earth 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

weird that the hole is in the front. most American toilets have the hole directly under your butthole and the poop just goes straight in (most of the time) with the water breaking it's fall on the way.

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[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 30 points 2 days ago

Short units make high pressure. Smart girls hear the Reynolds number and know

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 45 points 2 days ago

The solution clearly is to piss on her to establish dominance

[–] jbk@discuss.tchncs.de 39 points 2 days ago (2 children)

why sinks are more practical

[–] KreekyBonez@lemmy.world 15 points 1 day ago

it's better to piss in the sink, than to sink in the piss

[–] ODuffer@lemmy.world 23 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (5 children)

Yeah, but take the dishes out.

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[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 39 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Try hearing all of your neighbors pissing...

I swear to Christ, I think I've stumbled onto the one apartment building with paper-thin walls that's also filled to the brim with neighbors who aim straight for the water...

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago (2 children)

/r/sinkpissers

Not sure if we have a lemmy community for this yet

[–] GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I should preemptively block this. And you as well you filthy animal

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