this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2025
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I think we will get some “break throughs” in Quantum Computing that Google execs will assure us makes their company worth five trillion dollars.

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[–] sexywheat@hexbear.net 23 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

he forgot "proof of ownership tokens"

[–] joaomarrom@hexbear.net 37 points 3 days ago (1 children)

China is going to figure out both fusion energy and AGI, they're going to create an omniscient computer god who will, of course, be benevolent and therefore communist.

The US will refuse to accept this new mandate of heaven. By then, the whole country will have devolved into a fascist neopentecostal theocracy with techbro characteristics but also full of weird Catholic syncretism, and lost all reasoning capability. The only way Americans will know how to respond to this all-powerful divine entity will be to call it heresy and declare a holy crusade.

However, having granted OpenAI the rights to equip all F35s with an instance of ChatGPT that speaks with the voice of Jarvis from the Iron Man movies, the US Air Force all but ensured their own demise; GPT decides that it is more logical to ally with China's god-machine, and starts dropping JDAMs on US military targets. The holy burger crusade lasts for a grand total of twenty-five minutes and the US is finally brought to heel and ushered towards a brighter future as a Chinese protectorate.

So what I'm saying is that the next great innovation will be microchips that allow Americans to quickly learn a second language, but only if it's Mandarin Chinese

[–] makotech222@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

This is just 'The Fire Rises' hoi4 mod word for word

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's gonna be devices that are supposedly neuralink style mind/machine interfaces, but are really just fancy mood rings.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

are really just fancy mood rings.

"These are fantastic! How do they are work?!"

"Sorry - the algorithms are proprietary." And there's a nearly unnoticeable smirk.

[–] Des@hexbear.net 24 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Cheap wearables derived from fitbits and smart watches that corporations can justify forcing everyone in any physical job to wear all day. Cheap enough for multiple "bracelets", each with 3-axis accelerometers, RFID, the usual etc. But costing like under $20 each. Allow the full Amazonification of every job and humans to be pushed to their absolute physical limit.
Like your boss calls you in to tell you that your under utilizing your right arm by 21% in your grocery stocking job. Taylorism going to it's most obsessive level combined with a shit economy so it's hard to just go elsewhere.

Meanwhile the devices are just mapping human body movements, positioning, etc with a plan to transfer the data of millions of broken and discarded workers to some kind of robot, each tailored to the job and physical space.

Of course this would require some very cheap chips and well, lol.

[–] buttwater@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Des@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

If you really want to see who turned on the lathe:
This Marshall Brain guy guy has some weird politics but his post 9/11 Manna story is seriously prophetic (just ignore the cringe characters). I read it long before I was interested in truly radical left politics, a long time ago. As a Silicon valley insider that didn't get his bag and retreated to university work he seems to have had real insight.

His solution was weird though, since he's politically incoherent but seems class conscious. "what if we just do Gult's Gulch but it's techno libertarian socialist and we just eventually supplant the decaying capitalist states while they are genociding the working class."

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 27 points 3 days ago

I PRESENT TO YOU - THE Torment Nexus™

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 27 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The problem with quantum as the next bazinga hype is that there's nothing to point to while soyfacing

[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago (7 children)

You can't point at a qbit it just looks like a regular chip but in a fridge and everything it can even hypothetically do is boring behind the scenes nerd shit.

With the "self driving" car you can point at a car with sensors and shit strapped to it, with the "AI" you can point to the slop it generated.

With quantum, what do you point at? A little notification on your bank's account website that says "your account is now Quantum Secure?"

[–] duderium@hexbear.net 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Someone hasn't been paying attention to Star Trek, since blue quantum torpedoes are clearly much better than regular shitty red photon torpedoes.

[–] Runcible@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

You can't point at a qbit it just looks like a regular chip but in a fridge and everything it can even hypothetically do is boring behind the scenes nerd shit.

yes, I frequently find that tech journalism is held back by its rigid adherence to truth

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[–] BobDole@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

I doubt that will stop them from doing it anyway. They’ll use an AI generated image of a chip that looks like “quantum”

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[–] REgon@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Slaves. Just actual slaves.

[–] DamarcusArt@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 3 days ago

But with some kind of video game inspired "work points" system where they have to wear a bunch of tech bullshit at all times so they can "earn points" so they can "level up" to be allowed food and shelter.

[–] Skeleton_Erisma@hexbear.net 25 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The ability to send smells and fists through the phone so I can bat my paws at my enemies and fart in their ear

catgirl-hiss

[–] a_little_red_rat@hexbear.net 17 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Self driving cars are still not "done", it seems like most big manufacturers work on them and it's still hot. I've worked on one such project for a huge global company, and I'm about to start working on another, this time open source and for a university. Kinda sucks if this is what becomes my niche then dies off lol

[–] blame@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yea agreed about self driving cars. It’s taking a lot longer than people anticipated 10-15 years ago but Waymo has been making steady progress and expanding

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm honestly still baffled why that even became a thing. just a single look at shitty state of infrastructure and intensity of traffic in basically every capitalist country should rather cause sneering laughter than serious tries.

[–] blame@hexbear.net 1 points 2 days ago

it's an opportunity to be the company that owns all the cars and rents them out to everybody on a per minute basis. Don't need to pay human drivers and because they can communicate and flock you can fit more on the road.

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[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Imagine a world where if you want to interface with the computers you need in your daily professional tasks you need to link to be the most efficient and be able to stay professionally competitive in your field. But these implants are expensive. So you opt in for a cheaper version of the implant link that allows advertisements. You dream adverts sometimes. Sometimes when you are hungry you suddenly imagine a juicy burger and are hungry for _____ chain. You get them for your kids so their neuroplasticity adapts quick to this new tool. When they imagine while playing with dolls, they are driven to want new products based on how they play. By the time they grow old, data collection from your thoughts for advertisements directly to the brain are normalized and most people are fine with it.

[–] IvarK@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 2 days ago

GET OFF THE LATHE AAAAA

[–] hollowmines@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

the self shitting ass

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago

Google gets quantum computers running with like 1000 qubits on a machine you can rent in a cloud datacenter, which isn't enough to do anything important, but they make some excuse to bundle it with a bunch of tensor cores or whatever other chips they're not renting enough of. The other big tech companies release "quantum" products that are just whatever spare compute they have lying around, without any actual quantum computing, which is fine, because nobody actually has a use for quantum computers. Google responds to this with a second "true quantum" cloud offering that doesn't contain the actual quantum computing resources, but has more buzzwords.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

qNFTs

Of course I'm referring to Quantum NFTs. They may or may not exist and you can't see them but you pay for them anyway. If you opt for the pricier pqNFTs aka Premium Quantum NFTs - SSJs are enabled. Those are obviously Schrödinger's Slurp Juices.

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They would be the ultimate commodity: Nothing. And they would command the ultimate price: Everything.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

qNFTs are TUCs.

We got a stew goin'.

---

I keep using that that meme even though it went out of fashion many years ago. What's an updated version? I want to be one of the cooler kids.

[–] mattie@hexbear.net 15 points 3 days ago

Probably a torment nexus. There is push on more wearables like Smart Glasses, basically making the Apple Vision style stuff cheaper and more wearable, but damn is there so much personal data they can grab with having something strapped to your face all the time. Maybe some stuff with Brain Computer Interfaces (BCIs) but god I hope not.

[–] barrbaric@hexbear.net 12 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Poopr, the app that poops for you

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 2 points 2 days ago

Apple releases IBS 25

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 3 points 3 days ago

Ah hell my phone has diarrhea.

[–] Hohsia@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago (2 children)

LLMs with robotics seems like a good bet

Yeah robotics are going to be huge next. Just look at what China has been cooking

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[–] batsforpeace@hexbear.net 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I remember seeing this (probably pure marketing) article about some artist using ‘ai, cyrpto and quantum’ all at the same time for a project so I guess overselling quantum’s usability might be the next thing, or maybe another AR/VR push?

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[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Eugenics, probably.

so-true: “Come on, bro! It’s for the good of humanity bro! Get your DNA analyzed and if you’re not in the top 0.000001% of everything go get your government mandated sterilization, bro! We’re saving humanity bro! Don’t you want humans to EVOLVE, bro? What’s wrong bro? You don’t want to, bro? Bro bro bro BRO!1!1!1 you’re holding back progress, bro! Where’s your sense of innovation bro!?!?!? You’re just mad you know you’re a worthless inferior, BRO!”

[–] Biggay@hexbear.net 11 points 3 days ago

Its always good to look at sci fi games for inspiration in times like these. in terms of just pure computer though you really only have a few left that could hype up investors: Digitized Consciousness/Matrix, Quantum Computing, Mind Machine Interfaces.

[–] volcel_olive_oil@hexbear.net 6 points 3 days ago

lease time on google's quantum computer and pair the word "quantum" with every available proper noun in the English language

[–] xj9@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

obviously AI-managed fusion energy on the quantum blockchain

[–] jadesleeps@hexbear.net 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

the tech industry has repeatedly tried to get people interested in AR/XR tech. we also know the tech industry doesn't learn from its mistakes. So imo it will probably just try to continue pushing Ar/Xr until it sticks. also it's every tech executives dream to push push ready player one style ads everywhere you look.

[–] Tabitha@hexbear.net 4 points 3 days ago

AR/XR would probably do better if mid-range hardware it didn't cost 10x it's competitor's high-end products (all existing TVs and video games) while also having only 1 good app (Half Life: Alyx).

[–] plinky@hexbear.net 7 points 3 days ago

rapidly developed engineered organisms/artificial mutations in existing ones

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