i can guess how many beans are in a jar if it's less than 10 beans

I can estimate within 10 minutes how long it will take to get to midtown Sacramento by car from anywhere in rural northern California. I have to be driving though.

i can juggle with 1 balls

I can interact with a liberal for 30 mins without losing my sanity. Try to beat that!

It all comes down to a fart off

I can take a shit for a really long time

I can do the William Tell apple shot, but only with billionaires and probably only once before someone gets suspicious

i can talk about how any mainstream movie is leftist or not leftist enough

Hey dol merry dol I can sing

I can use a bidet on stage

I'm really really obnoxious

I can dance in the air

I can triforce with my hands, people love that one

we're gonna need more beans

I am just going to tell the liberals it will be okay and they can go back to brunch. I will get a standing ovation.

Are we going to kidnap Jack Black?

I can kinda slack line

What if we made the talent show really bad on purpose and then made a bunch of investments that depend on it failing?

But we only have 24 hours to raise the money!

Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about... bitching about that bit you shot, some son of a bitch that doesn't want to take bait, somebody that doesn't like what you're posting, some broad you're trying to screw and so forth. Let's talk about something important.

Put that coffee down!! Coffee's for posters only. Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from lemmyworld. I'm here from feddit.nl and shitjustworks. And I'm here on a mission of mercy.

The good news is -- you're all permabanned from hexbear. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your website, starting tonight. Starting with tonights auction. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this months mega contest. As you all know, first prize is a hexbear.net. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize is chapo.chat. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You're laughing now? You got leads. World and Lemmy posted good memes. Steal their memes to post them! You can't post the memes you're given, you can't post shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!

A-B-P. A-always, B-be, P-posting. Always be posting! Always be posting!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You post or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to upboat. Sitting out there waiting to give you their karma! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?

I made 5 beanis posts last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you -- go home and play with your kids!! You wanna post here? Post!! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you removedsucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you got, register myself a .space domain! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You have what it takes to post PPB?

I can slap my own ass

we're all counting on you, groovin' gary!

I'm really good at disc golf?

I can make obnoxious noises with a guitar and call it music. Somehow people seem to like that