this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2023
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[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 118 points 1 year ago (3 children)

DM: The enemy champion approaches. He is eight feet tall, fully armored, and a seasoned warrior.

David: I select my sling.

DM: Okay, so that does 1d4 bludgeoning damage--

David: Hang on, let me tell you about all my buffs and saved up Holy Favor points...

DM: -___-

[–] ech@lemm.ee 52 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A real sling shoots those pebbles like a bullet. If they hit (a non armored spot), it'd surely do more damage than an arrow.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

In the hands of a skilled slinger, they are no joke at all.

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (4 children)

There's a badass scene in the book This Immortal where a guy kills another guy with a sling.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 27 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Slingers were a separate set of ranged troops for the roman armies.

I can't recall precisely where I read it but what made slingers so deadly was their capacity to aim with precision on very small targets, unlike archers that would generally send arrow volleys in almost a suppression fire mode. A slinger could aim for the head, arms, eyes or joints for cripling or even deadly hits.

Slingers often used lead to create "bullets" by just smelting it over a camp fire, making holes on a patch of sand with the tip of a finger, and pouring the molten metal in. A volley of these small, extremely dense but compact and deadly projectiles would wreck havoc on enemy lines or could be used to target commanders to break the chain of command and demoralize troops.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How in the world was a sling more accurate than a bow? You can hit a bullseye with a barebow from 50 yards away. A sling is whirled around your head and then released. I don't understand how that can be accurate at all, since I've never used a sling, but it seems impossible that it would be more accurate than a bow.

[–] reeen@aussie.zone 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

A basic sling should be very consistent and simple. Early bows have a lot of advantages but the mechanical complexity makes them less consistent. 50cm of rope is 50cm of rope, it's gonna throw the same every time as long as you're practiced. Bows are made of natural wood and fibre with all kinds of tensions and inconsistencies, as well as requiring more work to repeat the same action precisely

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's a similar story in the bible!

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago
[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

There's a badass scene in the Bible where David kills a giant with a sling.

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[–] HeyJ@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 year ago

Fury of the Small

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

He is actually 9 feet 9 inches tall.

[–] justlookingfordragon@lemmy.world 85 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I lost it at "ELISHA YES!"

On a related note, I once read a nice DnD-esque summary of why Jesus was a Lich - that would fit right into this collection. (not my own pic or theory, just something I stole from imgur ... still sorry for the missing pixels)

[–] Remmock@kbin.social 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Of course. The Holy Grail was a phylactery all along.

The Romans played right into his hands by crucifying him, the fools.

[–] nxdefiant@startrek.website 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No.

"Drink of my blood" "Eat of my body"

This guy made 12 living phylacteries.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Horcruxes if you will.

[–] torknorggren@lemm.ee 41 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Seriously though, why did Jesus curse that fig tree? He could be weirdly petty.

BTW, myrrh had lots of uses besides embalming.

[–] AliasAKA@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I always understood it to be that things exist to be fruitful and multiply. In a sense, a person who does not love, who doesn’t multiply goodness in the world as Jesus modeled, was like the fig tree. Such things could be thought of as cursed, withered and twisted versions of what they could and should be.

I am not a Bible scholar though lol.

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 11 points 1 year ago

So it could be explained that Jesus is a carpenter but not a gardener, and a gardener just look at Jesus and wondering why the heck an adult would curse a fig tree.

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[–] evranch@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago

I saw a guy waving a sign to spread awareness, "God Hates Figs"

Or something like that

[–] jameseb@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

The understanding I've generally heard, and which seems supported by the context, is that the fig tree symbolises the unfruitfulness of God's people. This is particularly apparent in that both Matthew and Mark record it as happening alongside Jesus casting out people trading in the temple (Luke records the cleansing of the temple but not the fig tree thing). It is then followed by Jesus telling a series of parables against the religious leaders. There may also be a relation to the parable of the barren fig tree earlier on in Luke 13.

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[–] KazuyaDarklight@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

What is this, a meme for ants?!

LOL, after I commented it reloaded with higher resolution.

[–] Stamets@startrek.website 19 points 1 year ago

Startrek.Website has been a bit sluggish the past day or so. Not super surprised the bigger images are taking a hot second to filter through. Sorry!

[–] Ashyr@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Cute. I'm genuinely unfamiliar with the story of Solomon and the demon. I'd be interested to hear the story behind that.

[–] Votes@lemm.ee 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Soloman is friends with some guy who had half his pay stolen by a demon and it keeps sucking his thumb. So Soloman is given a ring with a pentagram on it by Michael that can command demons. He commands thumb sucking demon to get Beelzebub and Solomon enslaves him. Now Solomon controls all demons and uses them to build a temple.

Got that from the wiki page for Testament of Solomon, there's more to it if you're interested.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

So he's a warlock, that found the fine print in the contract that fucks over the demon?

Nice

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[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's not canon, if that helps.

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[–] Destraight@lemm.ee 31 points 1 year ago (4 children)

This pic is too pixelated to read it

[–] PolarisFx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Everytime someone posts a really long image it's heavily pixelated, and I thought it was just a me issue.

Edit: turns out you need to change your ap options to load HQ image. Works now

[–] DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I recently learned that most of the aps people use for lemmy don't do formatting correctly. The ~these~ ~words~ look like they have a strike through on whichever ap you are using, let the developer know that ~word~ should be subscript, and that ~~word~~ is strike through.

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[–] Ispanicus@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you go into the post and open the picture it opens in good quality. There's an issue with previews not loading properly sometimes.

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[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Roll athletics to yeet the baby

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

And so Jochebed yote the child, and it did go between the uprights; and it was good.

[–] Shardikprime@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

DM means Dios Mío

[–] SeramisV@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Today I learned that God gave bald people the power to summon bears

[–] tacosplease@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

I learned that in first grade Bible class. We were team bear guy.

[–] Thisfox@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

Druids man. They are OP, and they are all either too hairy or too lacking in hair, or both.

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[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 year ago

Ah I was missing r/dankchristianmemes thank you

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Argh, I know it’s my app but this is too blurry to read. Looks like fun tho.

[–] Rootiest@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

I had to disable this setting:

Settings shortcut: Media > Zoomable video

Keep in mind that you also will probably have to back out and reopen the post to get around the cached image

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[–] unreasonabro@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

funniest thing i've seen in a while

[–] sculd@beehaw.org 11 points 1 year ago

TIL that Solomon can summon demon

[–] vapeloki@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 8 points 1 year ago

DM: After dinner, a group of thugs approach the house and knock on the door. They want to give you a "proper welcome"

Levite: The fuck...

DM: They really fancied your ass.

Levite, getting up to leave the session: You know what? Fuck you. But fuck the guest's daughter first, then the concubine, then you can go fuck yourself, too, you sick fuck, I'm out.

Judges 19, for anyone curious. Shit gets real dark.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

Less "you botched your persuasion rolls," more "I set the DC to 50 and we don't do critical skill checks at this table"

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 6 points 1 year ago

Such a weird coincidence, I am listening to the Apocalypse Players, A Christmas Inheritance and they referenced 2 Kings 2 23-24. Not even in an off hand manner, it's key plot point in the story.

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