Hold me closer, Tony Danza...

Not me personally, but I worked with a guy that always thought Secret Agent Man was Secret Asian Man.

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree by Brenda Lee

When I was a kid, I swear the lyrics sounded like "later we'll have some fucking pie", but it's "later we'll have some pumpkin pie".

No dogs orgasm in the classroom

Another Brick in the Wall (part 2)

I know I'm not the only one but I always thought the line was "dirty deeds and the Thunder Chief". Still think Thunder Chief is a cool name.

Same band, I thought the line was "let loose, vamanoose" like a funny way of saying vamonos - or "lets go".

Blinded By the Light

~~Roll up like a douche~~ Rev up like a deuce

Crimean River

"'Scuse me while I kiss this guy..."

If you want a big list of these check out https://www.kissthisguy.com/

Here's one from there

Like a virgin touched for the thirty-first time. Artist: Madonna Song: Like a Virgin Real Lyric: Like a virgin touched for the very first time.

Taylor Swift - Blank Space

"Got a long list of ex lovers"

As

"Gotta love those Starbucks lovers"

I thought it was supposed to be a self aware "white girl" joke.

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIZZAS

I remember the subtitles for Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun said "It's like kitty fat, it retracts before impact" which was nuts, I had the CD, and it was "any fad". They didn't use to vet subtitles on MTV. There were orders, but that's all I remember.

José Feliciano - Feliz Navidad.

Sounds like he is saying 'release mum and dad.' interlace with him singing 'I want to wish you a merry christmas'

I was in stitches at the dinner table when I heard it. Trying to tell my brother while crying and hyperventilating with laughter made it even better.

If you like peeing on koalas and getting caught in the rain

Selena Gomez - Good For You - "~~I'm 14 carats. I'm 14 carets~~ I'm farting carrots. I'm farting carrots."

Had a friend who's little bro thought "Liberate my madness" from Liberate by Slipknot was "Never eat bananas".

I used to work with this guy who swore the lyrics to Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones were, “Don’t wanna be, your pizza’s burnin’”.

It's in our nature to destroy ourselves

It's in our nature to kill ourselves

It's in our nature to kill each other

It's in our nature to kill, kill, kill

That's the actual lyrics of Blood Brothers from Papa Roach, some people hear "Human Nature" instead of our nature, which is still the same meaning. However I once read someone misshearing of that lyrics and I can never unheard it, this is what I hear now (and so will you if you read):

Send the ninjas to destroy ourselves

Send the ninjas to kill ourselves

Send the ninjas to kill each other

Send the ninjas to kill, kill, kill

Is it the reebok or nike

Who, from time to time, has not been revved up like a douche?

"Blank Space" by Taylor Swift

~~Got a long list of ex-lovers~~

"Lonely Starbucks lovers"

She's got electric boobs... Something something... B-b-b-benny and the jetsssss

Back nearly 20 years ago Disney California Adventure (Anaheim, Cali) had this interactive exhibit where you did various things in line with the Disney animated kids movies. One was playing the Seven Dwarfs "Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to work we go..."

In a little alcove in front of a group of friends was another group of cute mid-teen little Latino girls. They were dressed somewhat provocatively for the average Disney guest and all were wearing bold makeup, (not judging, but they stood out). The typical Spanish accent was prevalent with the silent "h". Their innocent rendition as they sang along was hilarious. Happy as they could be they were singing, "I hoe, I hoe, it's off to work we go..."

Head Automatica - I Shot William H. Macy

What my friends and I heard when the album dropped: "Yeah, yeah... I put a sausage in your little hand!"

What the actual line says: "Yeah yeah, I'll put assassins in your little head."

Although my all-time favorite is and will forever be:

"Excuse me, while I kiss this guy" - Jimmy Hendrix

"Hey now, you're a rockstar, get laaaiid!"

Oh, it's actually get PAID.

Uptown funky butt

Hamster. A dentist!

The bridge to The Four Horsemen by Metallica

🎶Time has taken a stool on you!🎶

Brimful of Asha by Cornershop.

The title and the lyric are both "brimful of Asha", which has a double meaning. In the singer's native language 'Asha' means hope, and is also the name of an iconic Bollywood singer/dancer.

What I heard was "grim poodle basher". Obviously it wasn't right, but I couldn't figure out the actual words just by listening harder.

Hemorrhage by Fuel

~~Leave love bleeding in my hands, in my hands again~~ We all livin' in my pants, in my pants oh yeah

The Toadies "Possum Kingdom"

I'm not gonna lie
I'll not be a gentleman
Behind the boathouse
I'll show you my ~~dark secret~~ dashiki

I want to break trees

Who'll stop Lorraine?

I thought it was about a lady who fell down a hill.

Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Casserole, casserole, on the wall.

Acting funny, but I don't know why... 'Scuse me while I ~~kiss the sky~~ kiss this guy

Hendrix. Purple Haze

I wish I didn't have to ~~pee~~ be so bad.

-blink 182 - Wendy Clear

and the most prominent

I ~~wore cologne~~ walk alone to get the feeling right

-blink 182 - What's My Age Again.

Though sometimes when Tom and Mark performs live, they butchered some lines for some dumb jokes lol.

Simon & Garfunkel; Mrs. Robinson

Jesus loves you more than you will know

=

She’s a slut more than you could know—whoa, who, whoa!

Twenty years ago, Buffalo, NY. The Fat of the Land by Prodigy was still huge. A dancer in a strip club thought "Smack my Bitch Up" was "Snap my Picture". True story.