askchapo

I wouldn’t say I get “stuff,” but I do get:

• Complete strangers politely asking me out on the street
• An easier time being funny and charismatic if I want to be
• Politely flirted with by MILFs and DILFs at the renaissance fair (I see this as a huge win)
• The pity of strangers, if I look sad enough
• Friends and acquaintances developing lil crushes on me (so far this has never gone badly for me)
• Honked at by passing cars >:(
• On one horrible occasion, an attempt at flirting from a man who has known me since I was a child

When I was boymoding I was definitely 'pretty' but I also was really unhappy with how I looked, dressed like shit too. I'd go to bars in college and older ladies would buy me drinks and I just would pick up on zero of the flirting because I'm ace/oblivious

Now I just mostly get honked at walking down the street

I did, until I put on the mask. :bane-n95:

I don’t think being attractive is enough to overcome personality issues in the dating arena, but privilege of this type tends to manifest most obviously as educational/professional success in my experience. It’s like male privilege on overdrive

To be clear though I’m not freakishly attractive just above average. I had a friend in my 20s who would have girls come up to him in bars and ask him to take them home, like talk about life on easy mode. My dude was 6’3, chiseled and ate nothing but chips and salsa lol

Yes, very much so

Mind you, I'm not goddamn Pedro Pascal over here, but the thing is, I used to be much less good looking, and then had a big glow up in my late 20s. Got in shape, got my shit together generally, and it absolutely does make a difference, especially for someone who works a public-facing job - teacher, in my case.

It's hard to quantify exactly how much better people treat me, of course, and although I'm a good looking guy, I'm not good looking enough to actually get free stuff, but every interaction feels different when you're not a slob like I used to be. I don't mean that like in terms of how attractive or conventionally beautiful you are. When it looks like you care about yourself and the way that you look, you instantly become more attractive, charming and approachable to people in a general way.

When people don't accept the fact that being conventionally beautiful is not entirely connected to being attractive, I just introduce them to Donny Benet.

I wouldn't call myself very attractive, not ugly or anything just a bit fat, but I did notice that after I started dressing in punk clothes I started getting way more positive attention. People striking up conversations on the street, getting hit on in bars stuff like that.

I have good days and bad, and on the rare days I'm composed it's noticeable that people treat me better. Like, it's hard to quantify but they'll be more responsive/receptive, like people will strike up conversations and they'll laugh at shitty jokes that shouldn't land. Other days I'm a trash goblin and people would rather stand than sit next to me on the train lolllll. I can't imagine what it would like to be attractive all the time.

I wonder if anybody ever gave me anything due to my bad looks. As in "poor fella, the least I can due is share ice cream with him"

I'm definitely closer to ugly than attractive. I don't see there being a serious issue. I've had plenty of opportunities to make friends, and the very rare person that doesn't want to hang with me cuz of my looks, well they usually suck really hard anyhow.

In regards to privilege, I got straight white cis male from the West privilege. Compared to the average human, I'm pretty lucky. I'm not gonna fuss if hot people get chatted up more. I see beauty privilege as a double edge sword, for various reasons.

I've noticed that the very rare attractive narcissist can be pretty dangerous, as people follow them a bit too hard, but that's a different issue.

I started working out around my late teens. I lost a lot of weight and also left the worst part of puberty behind. I vividly remember how different everyone started treating me - Teachers gave me better grades, acquaintances were easier to turn into friends, ticket controllers on the train were more often understanding when I had forgotten to stamp my ticket, it was easier to interview for jobs, it was easier to get dates, it was easier to get into 21+ nightclubs, it was easier to get shit for free and friends and family started listening to me and taking me more seriously.
This wasn't a result of me "becoming an adult", my life was functionally the same in all other aspects. I didn't behave or seem more "mature" either really. Just looks.

Yes. Namely, physically attractive partners. If I got anything else because of it, I wouldn't really know the difference.

But there's no way I could have the partners I've had otherwise, especially considering I've always been pretty broke.

As a man, I think it's more subtle and difficult to pick up on, for me anyway. But I've been doing the gym for almost a decade and it shows. I've got blond hair and blue eyes and a strong jaw. Once I started dating I was basically never single for longer than a few months. And so, on some level I know I'm doing alright for myself and I'm sure that gives me a privilege that others don't have. Like others have said, I'm not a model (I have a friend that's a model and an amateur bodybuilder, I know what truly good looking guys look like haha), but I've got pretty privilege, I think.

But I can't really give like concrete examples, outside of how blessed my dating life has been obviously, of how some time I noticed I got something just because of my looks. It's like trying to have a fish explain how water affects their life, it's just always been around and you don't think about it. But I know, from reading theory and what not, this world is built for cis het white guys like me, and it's even better if you're easy on the eyes, and I have benefited enormously from that. So academically, I know the water gives me oxygen, gives me a medium through which I move and benefits me, but hell if I could ever truly expand on that.

Yes and no. I've been told that I'm physically and facially very attractive, but I'm also very short at 5'1 with softer features. It's made me a target for gay men that I'm sure I would appreciate more if I wasn't straight. I'm sure being a stereotypical short, fat, and ugly brown guy would have made life a lot harder.

So, I’m not attractive at all, but people seem to really find me endearing for some reason. People absolutely fall head over heels in love with me and go out of their way for me. People think I’m so sweet, when really I’m just not confident enough to be the narcissistic removed I am on the inside. I’m so terrified of people getting mad at me or hurting someone’s feelings. But I’m also very kind and altruistic and empathetic. Idk.

Yes, I'm not super attractive but like occasionally people will like buy me things to get my attention

That is absolutely true and pretty privilege absolutely does exist

OP not gonna lie, this is one of the dumbest posts I've seen. It's like a straight, white guy asking: "Do you think that being white and male gives me an advantage due solely to that fact?? I'm sooooo confused."

The halo effect has been pretty well documented.

Is this a serious question?

Tbh I don't talk to people enough to have any clue whether or not I'm attractive. My girlfriend insists I am. I know I'm not particularly unattractive at least. She definitely gets some pretty privilege though

I've struggled with serious clinical depression and I honestly feel like if I wasn't "attractive" I might not be here today (after being at my lowest a couple years ago). It feels like being perceived as attractive is the only reason I have friends, or have dated. I'm very introverted and have a lot of social anxiety, but random girls have come up to me at school or work to flirt and ask for my number/insta.

I feel like when you're perceived as attractive and have decent style, people think quietness is stoic or mysterious or cute or whatever. When I was in middle school and had ugly glasses/bad hair/late puberty, being quiet just made me the weird kid outcast

I pretty much never start a conversation with anyone new and I'm pretty awkward or dry until I get to know a person, but people will still put effort in getting to know me; asking for social media, inviting me places, stuff like that. Tho sometimes I feel like my lack of energy intimidates people, especially less "attractive" people, into thinking I don't like them, which I have been working on. Conventionally attractive guys try harder to befriend me, which kinda sucks because I don't wanna be friends with a bunch of shallow people like the local himbo who wants me in his frat

Still looking for a group I really fit in with at college. Last year starting out as a freshman, I got drunk and hung out with a few straight dudes (and one bi guy who talked about getting with "f-slurs") that started talking about women like toys and the people they've had sex with. They asked me if I'd gotten with anyone and I said I plead the fifth, they started laughing and saying "that means yes". It was one of the cringiest experiences and I accepted a lot less invitations after that, but I guess I've been making friends with a couple guys who seem cool lately