I bought an outfit for my vrchat avatar and tried it on last night. I had no idea I would spend an hour doing spins in front of a mirror and spazzing out because I was so cute. It was an incredible experience and it's the first time I've ever dressed like that, virtual or irl. If I wasn't sure before, I am now. My friend popped into my home world while I was spinning around and dancing. He said he's never seen me smile that much (I have face tracking so it's pretty obvious to see how I'm feeling). I should find a clip of it cause I don't think I've ever looked as happy as I did. Vrchat is an incubator for eggs.

Edit: So I'm gonna go about 4000000 miles outside of my comfort zone and post this. https://streamable.com/jt1nz3

im like REALLY cute. im only getting cuter.

You use the local trans discord as a base for your polycule.

I use the local trans discord to ask questions about how to use Linux.

We are not the same.

Hiii, I hope everyone had a great week and will have a better week than last too!!! 🥰🥰🥰🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🥰🥰🥰

🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

breaking bad but it's grey market estrogen

Leggings, cold shoulder top, loose knit cardigan, full beard. This is my life

making curry and rice with my partner

after years i have reached the point where i can't simply pull on a tight shirt without actively working it over my boobs

I badly misread the title of this post.

we really gotta invent the boob transfer machine. there's so many trans girls who could use my boobs better than i ever could

Anyway, idk how thats related to being trans, aside from that im trans.

Besides all that I have some friends who are nice, they keep me sane. Gonna hopefully expand my social circle a bit this week, but might crash out at the last second cause of the aforementioned brain not working right.

I hope everyone else is having a better time of things. Sorry for bringing everything down 😓

You know, being trans really sucks a lot of the time, but today I am happy and proud to be trans. HRT is doing its magic, I've been loosing weight, I'm standing up for myself more and demanding people use my actual name, and slowly day by day becoming more and more comfortable being me.

The exercises meant for my hips and ass are working splendidly. Reports from my wife and girlfriend apparently have me gaining a much more obvious hourglass shape and at least some semblance of an ass. I will continue these with more gusto than I have previously. If about 3 weeks will do this, then imagine what an entire year will do. I will have a proper figure damn it.

Life is shockingly good right now and idk how to feel about that.

• I'm finally on the waitlist for top surgery (downside is that it's 1.5-2+ years before I'll be having surgery, if I want it funded by public healthcare. Also downside is they're suggesting that I reduce my BMI, which is just awesome with my history of dieting and disordered eating. . I might go private, partly to avoid the waitlist (2 years is way too long), partly to possibly avoid getting annoying diet talk from my GP (the public surgeon sent her a letter asking her to reduce my weight, basically, lol)
• I have a job lined up for after graduation, and came out to them about being trans. They were mostly supportive and cool, though a tiny bit boomer (I will probably have to educate them some, which sucks, but is also inevitable in my industry). One staff member did misgender me last time I was there, so next time I'm coming with a name tag with my manly new name (I mostly go by a shortened version which is fairly gender neutral, the full version is definitely considered a male name) and pronoun pins. Hopefully that will help. I need a beard.
• I'm getting so close to being Out everywhere. I just need to come out to my in-laws and an aunt and uncle, so they don't get to freak out about finding out via the grapevine or social media or something.
• I'm dating a cis woman who is married to a trans woman and it's SO WILD to be dating a woman in a straight way, and absolutely amazing to be dating someone who has already been "cooked" in terms of cis people being educated about trans stuff. She's so incredible at affirming my gender. The downside is idk how to feel about discovering this straight side of myself. It's kind of disturbing and makes me feel unsettled. Also I'm discovering new ways to trigger dysphoria, which is annoying. Like I can be with a guy and not wear a binder and if I feel his flat chest on my tits it's kind of just neutral. But feeling someone else's tits on my tits is like. A big reminder that I have tits, and very unpleasant. So I have to wear a binder all the time with her, which sucks because I already bind way more than you're supposed to. But overall this new relationship is very fun and good.

Idk why I used bullet points for such massive paragraphs. I think those are all the good trans news I've got going on.

I came out to one of my best friends this evening. We're neighbors and he walks around the neighborhood every night. He's always asking me to join "walkin club" so I took him up on the offer tonight as an excuse to tell him. I still waited until the very end because I was anxious. But I was worried about nothing because he was fine with it. Absolutely a non-issue.

I had probably the best valentine's day I've ever had today and I'm so happy

Mr. General Secretary ma'am, can we please have a transgender autonomous oblast?

annoying day, kinda giving me a headache. got talked down to by cis men about my problems and then had a conversation made weirdly uncomfortable by my own so just kinda mreh

incredibly happy right now. i think things are gonna end up really good

Sometimes I think "I wish someone told me how rad it is to be trans" like 5 years ago when I thought about it and went straight to fear and denial. I thought it would be so hard (it is) and it would suck (it does not suck it is awesome)

making dumplings today with my family for Chinese New Year. my goal for the Year of the Dragon is to finally start HRT!

transitioning is really complicated

Just found out that my entire extended family apparently now knows that I am trans? It's not entirely clear, but the reaction seems positive. They mostly just seem to shrug and accept it.

all my favourite fighting game characters have oppressive movesets that make the opponent block and are unreasonably safe and high damage

unrelated, i'm a top

Feeling shitty about living generally

But some people make it better

I told the cashier at my local 7-11 about how much I loved watching Victoria Monet's live performance and she was very receptive so it was nice

I just wish people would stop asking me if I have a penis

Like

I'm hot and I pass, they just wanna know how much to fetishize me (the answer is more if I say I do have a penis)

Fortunately I dealt with nobody today at work so that made things easy

I hope things get better

Just got a discord server I'm in to implement a pronouns bot. Truly, I am the vanguard of trans rights.

I got an nb/gf and am very happy. I hadn’t talked to them much before last year, but I apparently made them a commie due to regular propaganda long before they asked me out.

I'm in a better place mentally than I think I ever have been before, will be 1 year on HRT next month, and am going back to school to finish my degree later this year. Just doing really well ☺️

there needs to be more transgender yuri manga

currently i can only think of:

• double house (really good, only 4 chapter though)
• hello melancholic (transness is subtext, but imo pretty much undeniable that minato is trans. read it and you'll see what i mean)
• kashimashi girl meets girl (magical transformation, not textually trans but she accepts being magically turned into a girl very easily)

i know there's some i'm forgetting, since i am very seepy, but there should be way more. wandering son maybe counts? i should reread it

Starting to question gender now... confusion

idk, I guess I will do whatever makes me happy but I think I like to keep a femboy label. I definitely want HRT but it's gonna be a long-ass wait for that...

i need more trans women to flirt with...

new bit: flashmobbing a anti-abortion pregnancy center with all my trans sisters after eating a ton of taco bell so we can see our food babies on ultrasound

So like I had an amazing weekend last weekend. I actually told a coworker I'm trans, this is the first cis coworker that knows. I had to tell him cause he wanted to jam and play music, and so did I, but that's outside of work which means I'm def not gonna boymode. He was SO normal about it. Just super accepting and very cool. We had like a 3 hour jam sesh with another trans friend of mine and it was pretty amazing. Then I went to a rave that night which was absolutely flawless and I looked and felt incredible. Yesterday I told my long time friend that I'm trans too, he lives across the country so we don't see eachother. He said he loved and accepted me so that's good. Lots of good things happening really

I'm going to go see a therapist for the first time in my life today. My stomach is in knots. I don't know why I'm so worked up over it. I usually get nervous before any Drs visit, but today is a hundred times worse.

Any progress on how I see myself and how I want to be has been utterly arrested by continued unemployment and money trouble and it really really sucks. All my time in therapy is spent venting and worrying about how I'm going to survive. Any of the companies I'm applying to could fix this at the drop of a hat, but I guess I don't have enough worth to businesspeople for that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

remembering more trans yuri i'd forgotten. the options are kinda dire but there is some stuff. there's a bit more if you expand into het, but even so there isn't much

• those 2 chapters of mermaid line (handle the trans stuff clumsily but idk how much of that is the manga being from 2009 or the translation being from 2009)
• wandering son (focus isn't the relationship but the main character is a trans lesbian who does get a girlfriend)
• a manga about a hero who pulled out the holy sword and became a girl (just a 4koma but it's there)

Gods, I feel terrible about my body. I actually got a good look at myself and my upper body just looks miserable. Not only am I broadchested, but my boobs are very separated. Having a 38DD don’t mean shit in this frame. Not only that, but my stomach is all kinds of fucked thanks to a lazy tummy tuck I had done a few years ago. The doctor outright told me that he didn’t do a full job because he expected me to have a mastectomy done (this was before my egg cracked; I’ve had some form of breasts since I was 12 years old). So I still have saggy skin in the oddest places that does not flatter me in the slightest. It is causing me an intense amount of psychic damage right now and I’m just miserably depressed from it.

I really don’t know what to do with myself sometimes. I wish things would calm down in my life a little so I could breathe for once. Managing two relationships with a ton of travel, managing my own life, and taking care of the house is just making me incapable of resting. I genuinely hate it sometimes.

It's been a very big week but I'm here for it