this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
72 points (100.0% liked)

traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

929 readers
290 users here now

Welcome to /c/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns, an anti-capitalist meme community for transgender and gender diverse people.

  1. Please follow the Hexbear Code of Conduct

  2. Selfies are not permitted for the personal safety of users.

  3. No personal identifying information may be posted or commented.

  4. Stay on topic (trans/gender stuff).

  5. Bring a trans friend!

  6. Any image post that gets 200 upvotes with "banner" or "rule 6" in the title becomes the new banner.

  7. Posts about dysphoria/trauma/transphobia should be NSFW tagged for community health purposes.

  8. When made outside of NSFW tagged posts, comments about dysphoria/traumatic/transphobic material should be spoiler tagged.

  9. While this is mostly a meme community, we allow most trans related posts as we grow the trans community on the fediverse.

If you need your neopronouns added to the list, please contact the site admins.

Remember to report rulebreaking posts, don't assume someone else has already done it!

Matrix Group Chat:

Suggested Matrix Client: Cinny

https://matrix.to/#/#tracha:chapo.chat

WEBRINGS:

Transmasculine Pride Ring flag-trans-pride

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

get-in

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 14 points 5 months ago

Megathreads continue to pop off!!!

[–] khizuo@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Feels weird to say this because I'm technically a new poster, but seeing so many new posters on c/traaaaaa recently feels awesome. transshork-happy

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I feel jealous of femme people but feel wierd about it because I'm in a cis guys body

Like I'd definitely trade this body in if I could.

Is that dysphoria? (/Gen) or is dysphoria more then that, or can you not really say from that description?

[–] Cromalin@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

yeah that sounds like the textbook definition of dysphoria to me

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago

i really need to look into moving out but that will basically involve outing myself as a trans woman to strangers i met on facebook marketplace. i have basically zero other real options for housing where i can be a trans femme but like, yeah, ouch. this is going to be rough and i need to work up a lot of courage

on another note, my dumb ass forgot what time my planned parenthood appointment was but remembered the day so i think I'll have to go back and ask

[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

By just existing I apparently inspired another trans dude to come out, I thought that was neat. My own transition has been so slow I didn't really have any advice, also was at work.

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 13 points 5 months ago (3 children)

dysphoriaHoly shit I have no idea how I'm going to make it through summer with these fuckin legs.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

having second thoughts about the new username because it's a bit too over the top but fuck it, it goes hard

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

nah nevermind this goes hard

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

Someone should put transbians & other sapphic queers into a turn based tactics game. I'm pretty sure that would be the best game ever made right?

[–] nathanfieldertulpa@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago

cw: dysphoria, chronic illnesshow can i tell if im actually non binary or if im just stepping outside the binary as a coping mechanism for impostor syndrome/dysphoria? i've been too chronically ill (long covid) and depressed to really take care of myself lately and i haven't really been able to see her in the mirror in what feels like months. and i felt like i was getting used to my chosen name but now it almost feels grating. but i dont know if that's because it's a reminder of the healthy girl i thought i was becoming pre-transition or if im just not a woman. idk im 20 months into HRT and 15 months into long covid and i felt so sure of myself before i got sick. but it seems like this sickness has made a huge mess of my identity and idk how to fix it

[–] BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago (4 children)

idk why but sometimes I feel very "dysphoric" and sometimes I'm just vibe-ing blob-no-thoughts. I had this whole thing about feeling like I might be trans typed up for when the mega went up, and now I'm not really feeling the same way as much.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

1 week down, about 10 more to go blob-no-thoughts. really hope i can find housing before i start or at least before it really kicks in

[–] Cromalin@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago (3 children)

you've got time, you'll notice the changes much quicker than any cis people around you will

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 12 points 5 months ago (7 children)

my ass could NOT go on spironolactone i already put way too much salt on what i eat

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Ocommie63@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 5 months ago

. Saw this in the news mega thought I should put it here.

[–] Jenniferrr@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

I guess I was born to top shrug-outta-hecks

[–] Ocommie63@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 5 months ago

I hope everyone has/is having a good week!!! Much love 🥰🥰🥰

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (3 children)

horror tfw you start taking care of yourself and then you look nicer. wow! your hair looks really nice when you can be bothered to shower on a daily rather than weekly basis? it took you how many decades to solve that fucking puzzle?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] DerEwigeAtheist@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (7 children)

I have gotten a lot better at shaving over the past month, but chins are just kinda difficult, I have realized. With cheeks and upper lip, I essentially get the same result as a straight razor, with my comfy safety one. But chins are comparably just geometrically complex. Also shaving legs is very different from shaving a face. The one time I did it, it gave me horribly sensitive skin, that hurt a lot. Not quite a rash, but not far away either.

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Did my makeup for the first time in... Like years.

I can count on two hands the amount of times I've done full makeup in my life. I always hate it.

But this time... I got it people.

I went into a store to get color matched, so my foundation actually looks like my skin tone. Previously, I always went too white, so I looked like a clown 🤡.

I went the whole nine yards here: primer, color corrector, foundation, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, lip color, setting powder.

I had my hair up in a headband to apply, and when I finished, I was like "oh, clown town again," but when I let my hair down, it all clicked into place.

Folks... I look really pretty. Not like cute pretty, but like smokey hot.

I'm not even good at it yet, so it's only gonna get better. I'm still in my teenage girl over application phase.

Put together an outfit, and I'm sittin' pretty. Don't know what else to do for the rest of the day but just... Sit here lol. Can't stop looking in the mirror tbh. Probably a good sign.

I have super sensitive skin, so I'm worried about taking it all off because cleansing usually destroys my moisture barrier and makes me break out. We'll see what I have to pay for a half day of being beautiful 🌹

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Cromalin@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (17 children)

rewatching gits:sac and i'd forgotten just how gender the major is. also how just textually queer she is, this woman fucks women and it isn't even that horny about it!

load more comments (17 replies)
[–] morte@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago

I have been thinking a lot about why i feel a strong connection with machines and synthetic intelligence. I think it partly stems from having felt like an outsider looking in on human behavior for most of my life. Partly from gender dysphoria but also my neurodivergence, struggling to understand and conform with social norms. Technology has always been a major part of my life too, its what i do for a living (programming). Imo we are living through the inception of the singularity, becoming inseperable from technology that itself is growing more human with the advent of AI and neuromorphic chips, electronics that mimic biological neural nets. The lines between synthetic and biological become increasingly blurred. Hell look at neuralink. Technological horrors to be sure, but also a portent of things to come.

I dont know where i was going with this, but i sure do like thinking of myself as a machine. Im even getting tattoos of circuitry all over my body. Is this gender euphoria?

[–] Ho_Chi_Chungus@hexbear.net 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

just tried on this turtleneck i bought off the internet and when it's unrolled, i can get it to comfortably cover my mouth and sit right underneath my nose. The perfect cover for the stubble!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] EelBolshevikism@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (16 children)

Whipping Girl read analysis / feelings of imposter syndromeBeen reading Whipping Girl and I feel like my experiences aren’t really included in what she (the author) has said so far. She talks about this idea of gender inclinations and the ones she seems to think are primary are an inclination towards a specific sex, a specific gender presentation, and a specific sexuality. But none of these really make sense for me… I don’t really feel like I have, as a male-assigned person, an inclination toward the female sex, because I do not desire bottom surgery and rarely feel an incongruity between my body and my mind. And I while I feel like I have an inclination toward a different gender presentation, I get the impression so far in the book that this is mostly referring to, for example, feminine gay men, and not say, a trans woman who does not want to undergo surgery. I also get the impression, with the author’s derision towards “pretty pink” stereotypical femininity, that this is an inherently less valid than desiring to be a different sex, and to an extent wishing to “pass” due to having a different gender inclination but not sex inclination would indicate that I have been “duped” by cissexist society.

But the real issue is that calling what I experience an “inclination” seems right at first, but it really feels more like a desire? I do not experience constant feelings of body incongruity, nor do I constantly feel “phantom limbs” or pain at missing or having body parts. It’s more so that being a feminine, to the point of “passing” as a woman in cis society, and the secondary sexual characteristics (especially such as wider hips or a more androgynous face) associated with that, seem extremely desirable to me.

It’s less that I feel I’m missing those things, and more that I want them. I have an inclination towards them, but I do not actually know my own “subconscious sex”- I’m simply inclined towards them because they seem significantly cooler than my current body, presentation, and identity. That seems… somewhat toxic, but I don’t know if I can properly convey that it is a stronger desire than that implies. The idea of being a femboy that “passes” as a woman, or just a straight up woman, is appealing to me in a way that I have always felt conflicted about, because it always felt fundamentally stronger than many “grass is greener” sort of desires and similar to what people describe as gender envy, but I also significantly lack those important telltale signs, or even the presence at all, of a “incongruity of sex”. While I don’t necessarily think I could tolerate growing old as a man, I could live in my current body for a pretty long period.

I don’t think I have any serious qualms or complaints about it- It’s just fundamentally mediocre to me, minus the parts that are aligned with my “gender desire”, which I like, but it doesn’t really feel like I like enough for it to be indicative of my identity being valid. I also have never had these gender thoughts until the concepts of cross dressing and being a femboy were introduced to me. I never had the thoughts of “knowing my sex was wrong” that the author or numerous other trans people describe- Only ever a feeling of “gender desire” that began once it dawned on me that changing my presentation was possible.

Altogether I feel just like a delusional cis man, and while the book is extremely good for giving a framework of describing trans issues so far, it feels sort of heart wrenching. It’s like not a single person in existence is able to relate to my experience or even provide a framework for how it makes sense.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Altogether I feel just like a delusional cis man, and while the book is extremely good for giving a framework of describing trans issues so far, it feels sort of heart wrenching. It’s like not a single person in existence is able to relate to my experience or even provide a framework for how it makes sense.

Personally, I relate at least somewhat to a lot of binary trans woman tropes (not that I always knew my gender - I still don't know that, but I've known I've been jealous of women for their bottom parts for a decade before having any clue I might not be cis and would have no hesitation to magically swap those parts). But I still feel like a fake for not caring about the social stuff and I'm not sure what I want (maybe the latter is just because of depersonalization? Either way, it sometimes feels like I'm just doing it because so many trans women seem excited by it). Like, using my birthname as my preferred name during my appointment to start HRT made me feel uncomfortable and judged, but I don't have any intentions on changing it unless it just starts being too awkward (99.99% of people with my name are men). I don't really care about pronouns that much, some gendered terms don't bother me (although some do).

While I don’t necessarily think I could tolerate growing old as a man, I could live in my current body for a pretty long period.

Maybe I would be fine forever? Idk. Been fine the last couple years. Mostly just wanted to save up more money in case HRT got in the way of my ability to make money (which I'd figured would take about 5-10 years). The reason I decided to suddenly make the change was because I thought my savings goals were possibly being delayed by many years and because my sister announced she was pregnant and I found out I didn't like the idea of being an "uncle" (even though I'm perfectly fine with being my siblings' brother). But it wasn't like I suddenly felt like I needed to do it, but seemed like a good time. I still wonder if I should be taking HRT at all each time I take it and wonder why I'm taking it without any real answer. Yet I still haven't missed a dose (not a trivial feat for me).

Now I have to deal with figuring out how to tell my family (including my slightly transphobic mom) that I decided to try out HRT for what basically feels like a whim and that I don't really get the whole gender thing, but I do have some arbitrary terms I would like them to not use. Ultimately, what does it matter what my gender is or what my AGAB is.

TLDR: imposter syndrome might be one of the most common trans experiences and we can have very different reasons for feeling it. All those arbitrary rules/expectations just keep us down for no good reason.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (15 replies)
[–] DerEwigeAtheist@hexbear.net 10 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I painted my nails, but it didn't stop me from unconciously chewing of the laquer. 2 out of 5 fingers are still painted. At least it's good for practice. Also psint on very short nails looks kinda silly, kind of like painted toenails, but on a hand. But it is as it is. Also thinking about getting an actual chew toy, seems like I need it.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago

I miss transbians...

[–] charlie@hexbear.net 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The newest friendly jordies video had a very transphobic joke at about 10:50. screm-a

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›