Big_Bob

I went to the hardware store to get a couple of tools for a project and rang up some paint, tape and furniture rollers.

Everything went smoothly. I chatted a bit with the cashier while waiting for the paint to mix and exchanged some job talk, as we've both worked in the trades.

Pretty normal so far. I pay for my stuff, and put the roller in my side pocket and give it a pat, out of habit.

The painting tape goes in my other pocket, and I give it a pat, and I grab the paint.

He hands me the receipt, and having no space left, I shove it into my back pocket while turning to walk out.

My hand goes a bit too fast, and I accidentally slap my booty so loud it reverberates throughout the store.

My cheeks are still jiggling as I look back and lock eyes with the cashier. He saw it. He heard it. I just loudly spanked my own ass in front of this dude and he's staring back with a look of profound confusion.

I skedaddle the fuck out of there, cheeks red. I can never return.

I know there are at least three of us here, and I KNOW you're not doing anything today.

The zionist group MIFF is marking Israel's "independence day" in Stavanger and we're expecting a large counter demonstration.

If you're close to Stavanger, get your asses over to the sentrum at 18:00.

https://kampkomiteen.net/?p=8859

I've had this song on my brain since I was a teenager reading Cracked.com.

I still randomly mutter "catch me holding my cyber dog" to myself.

I've been half heartedly teaching myself german on and off for years, but I'm still terrible at it.

Are there any leftist german news sites out there worth reading?

Please praise me, senpai uguu ~

Tuesdays are leg days for me. I also like to add abs and core exercises.

I was finishing my deadlifts and proceeded to the yoga room, where the mats and bullshit accessories were, to do abs.

There were two women there already, apparently paying 20 bucks a month to do pushups and lunges.

Whatever, I grab the ab wheel and a yoga mat to rest my knees on while I do abs and I start pumping out a set.

So I'm there, in a relatively small room, with two gorgeous looking women (no hetero) and I'm on top of my sixth rep.

I'm bent over, ab wheel in my hands under me, ass up, like an upside down V, and by the time I feel it, it's already too late.

I fart so hard, I feel my pant leg puff up. I'm bent over, ass in the air, making sounds like a methed up window cleaner.

It was so loud, I knew I couldn't hide it. I still tried though. I made a coughing sound, still in the V position, but it immediately unleashed another fart, anus squeaking like a startled tabby and transitioned into a gurgle.

I don't even look around me to see if they noticed. I can see from my side vision that the women have stopped what they were doing and were just sitting there in judgemental silence. One of them is trying to breathe through her t-shirt.

I slowly stand up and take a quick look at my phone and pretend I have to be somewhere else and just walk out while staring into the ground.

It's over. It's so fucking over.