this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
527 points (96.5% liked)

Not The Onion

12203 readers
431 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Hegar@fedia.io 262 points 3 months ago (10 children)

This is a story of one bootlicking employee who was in desperate need of fucking off and minding his own business:

However, just as the movie started, an employee told them to put their snack bags away, the report said. They agreed but the employee apparently insisted on sitting next to them to monitor the snack situation.

A few minutes later, one of the children popped a Skittle he was already holding into his mouth, and quite frankly, all hell broke loose, the women said. The employee started shouting at them, and said that the police would be called unless they left. This is when the children started crying.

“My niece asked nicely: ‘If you’re calling the police, are they going to kill my mum?’” one of the women told the newspaper. “And he laughed at that stage. He looks directly in her face and he said: ‘Yeah, maybe we’ll find out.’

[–] schizo@forum.uncomfortable.business 187 points 3 months ago (6 children)

Dude's progressed from boot licking to boot felatio to boot deep throat, what in the fuck seriously.

[–] jorp@lemmy.world 86 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Fascists have it so easy, give the average fucker a little pin and tell them they're special helpers and they'll do this kind of thing for free.

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I See that In movies and go BS no one cares that much for such a minor role but nope your right there is someone so petty.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 64 points 3 months ago

Jesus, what a horrifying experience.

[–] alquicksilver@lemmy.world 39 points 3 months ago (12 children)

Is he secretly an American? Because that sounds far more like something I'd hear here. Atrocious.

[–] optissima@possumpat.io 29 points 3 months ago (7 children)

Yeah I thought it was US based on context too. I should've been suspicious when the employee didn't open fire on the family...

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (11 replies)
[–] lone_faerie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 3 months ago

Bro saw "Despicable Me" and took that as a challenge

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 152 points 3 months ago (11 children)

If you work at a cinema (condolences), and you see someone smuggling snacks in, no you didn't.

[–] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 49 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] illi@lemm.ee 28 points 3 months ago (2 children)

A long time ago, as teens, we used to go to the movies quite often. Ofc we didn't buy the local overpriced popcorn but brought our own snacks, smuggling them, all sneaky like. One day the guy who was admitting us in was like "you should just be honest guys - no need to hide them". Of course this was not forever but for a couple of months we could bring inanything because we were not tied by the snacks being hideable.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago

Upon such bricks a world worth living in can be built.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago (6 children)

I mean.....theaters ONLY make money on the consession stand. They basically break even on ticket sales, because of having to pay the movie studios. So if they make you bring the snacks back to your car BEFORE you go in, I get it.

But once you do go in? Once you're in the theater? No. If I were someone NOT with those people, I'd be angered that I followed your rules, I paid my admission, I bought from your concession stand, and now MY movie theater experience is being ruined over some fucking skittles???

I'd me more angry at the employee than the kids/mom. It would cause me to find a new movie theater.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 46 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Here's the deal. If theatres can't survive if I don't like their bad expensive snacks, Hollywood will have to figure something else out. Maybe they'll have to hire the same twenty faces less often, or take a more reasonable cut, who knows. Not my problem.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 91 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (19 children)

"many struggling cinemas depend on the sales of pricy food and drink"

Fuck you, what they charge isnt "pricy"

its fuckin exploitative. Its why they ban you bringing in snacks, in the hopes you'll pay 20 dollars for 5 cents of popcorn aind 7 cents of soda.

also, You expect anyone to have sympathy for the theater after

“My niece asked nicely: ‘If you’re calling the police, are they going to kill my mum?’” one of the women told the newspaper. “And he laughed at that stage. He looks directly in her face and he said: ‘Yeah, maybe we’ll find out.’

load more comments (19 replies)
[–] Timii@biglemmowski.win 80 points 3 months ago

Bring your own snacks? Believe it or not jail.

We have the best Theatres because of jail

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 70 points 3 months ago (4 children)

They agreed but the employee apparently insisted on sitting next to them to monitor the snack situation.

Instead of... telling them to take the snacks back out to the car? There's no situation where that isn't weird to me. Were there no other theaters to be cleaned, patrons to be helped, tickets to be sold, anything else, they just have this extra guy with literally nothing else to do but watch this family not eat the food they brought in?

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

He had power to flex, and by GOD was he going to flex it!

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] esc27@lemmy.world 55 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I was planning to see a movie this weekend, but this story just reminded me how greedy and anti-customer that whole industry is.

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 18 points 3 months ago (2 children)

its not nearly as good as any of the other despicible me movies. felt like they had no idea how to tie everything together plus the kids are barely in the movie and dont do anything

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] jasep@lemmy.world 51 points 3 months ago

I hope this cinema (or the chain it belongs to) goes out of business. What a hostile way to treat your customers.

[–] Doxatek@mander.xyz 43 points 3 months ago (3 children)

At least it wasn't in the US. Calling the police on someone for anything has a non zero chance of just getting them straight up murdered. So i was happy to see it was in NZ lol

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] M500@lemmy.ml 43 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Where I live it is pretty normal to openly bring your own food. You can bring whatever you want. Bring your own ice cream and cheese burgers for all they care.

They do sell some stuff, but its not overpriced.

A few years back, one cinema chain said they were going to stop allowing this. Then their competitor advertised that they still allow you to bring your own food in and then the first cinema chain backed off.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 39 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (15 children)

Cinemas: our business model sucks so much we have to sell overpriced food!

So? Just die already. Bye.

load more comments (15 replies)
[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 38 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (11 children)

I snuck a whole Arby's French Dip into that movie. Carried the au jus cup in my hand and walked right by the staff.

Ask me to leave all you want, but call the police? wtf? That'll be WHY I sneak food in the next time. This time I just needed actual dinner, and y'all don't even sell real food here.

load more comments (11 replies)
[–] crusa187@lemmy.ml 35 points 3 months ago (1 children)

“My niece asked nicely: ‘If you’re calling the police, are they going to kill my mum?’” one of the women told the newspaper. “And he laughed at that stage. He looks directly in her face and he said: ‘Yeah, maybe we’ll find out.’”

My man’s finally flexing the full power vested in him as cinema popcorn popper, and it is glorious!!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Cataphract@lemmy.ml 29 points 3 months ago (13 children)

Here is the original posting from New Zealand Herald which has video of the incident (1 of 3 near identical pages, that website is a mess). I searched out the real one because that linked article is just horrible and unnecessary (idk why he felt cool putting "The only things I’m planning to sneak in are sleeping tablets." at the end).

For anyone wanting to get riled up, NZ Herald also has this wonderful little opinion piece from Ryan Bridge (a local broadcaster).

Ryan Bridge is wondering where people’s shame went when it comes to breaking the rules. This is not the most important story that you will hear today, but it grinds my gears. It’s a small, seemingly insignificant event, but I think it speaks to two things that I absolutely hate about the world that we live in right now.

The opinion article is just a shit show from what sounds like a pretty horrible and privileged person.

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] raynethackery@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago

So, theater patrons and owners need to get together and tell studios to stop expecting to receive 99% of ticket sales money.

[–] Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world 27 points 3 months ago (14 children)

In rhe UK (at least the part i live in), they dont stop you from bringing your own food in. I think that staff know that no one wants to pay the crazy prices for the food they sell. If i could buy the snacks they sell for the prices that the shops across the road are selling them, then i wouldn't need to go to the shops across the road. Maybe thats not possible for them, maybe they need to find a new revenue stream.

load more comments (14 replies)
[–] fubarx@lemmy.ml 24 points 3 months ago (6 children)

What's the policy on bringing raw materials and making it in the theater? It's not technically outside food and is prepared on the premises.

Thinking a hibachi stove or an electric blender.

[–] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 3 months ago (7 children)

It's not technically outside food

I am not sure how you convinced yourself of this

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Food in general is one reason I haven't been to a theater in decades. I hate listening to the endless crinkle of wrappers, the shoveling in of popcorn, etc. I really don't want to smell the stink of the burger and fries you brought in or the crunching of the bag. It is bad enough when someone brings their smelly meal onto a plane and I have to smell it for an hour.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] lichtmetzger@discuss.tchncs.de 23 points 3 months ago (9 children)

I like movies and I like the atmosphere at my local cinema. I'm going there almost every week. Most of the time I bring my own snacks. I think they just ignore me because I'm like...their best customer, lol. :D

I do order a drink every time. But eating popcorn or nachos every week sounds like a nightmare, and that's all they have there.

load more comments (9 replies)
[–] UselesslyBrisk@infosec.pub 22 points 3 months ago (11 children)

It is standard policy in New Zealand for cinemas to ban food brought in from outside and the Herald reported that Cinema 3 has five signs posted around the premises stating this.

“The exact wording is: ‘No outside food or drinks allowed’,” the cinema’s operations manager, Robert Greig, said, the paper reported.

Thus, once again, one of the oldest arguments in the world has been pushed back into the limelight: should you be allowed to take your own snacks into the cinema?

private businesses can do what they want. But the prices they charge for food is outrageous. So i just dont go to those places. For the cost of a few movies and snacks now, you could buy your own large screen TV and surround system that will annoy your neighbors if thats what you need.

load more comments (11 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›