this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
52 points (91.9% liked)

askchapo

23058 readers
104 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

toss up between "I got big hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun.", and "I worsked on the Paris Accord, with Deng Xiaoping, and the others!"

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 39 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

Look, fat

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

Poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids

If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black

We're gonna cure cancer

[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 38 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

We finally beat Medicare

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 25 points 10 months ago

Poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids

This is the one that gets me every time

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Keep the record player on while they sleep!

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 35 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] btfod@hexbear.net 18 points 10 months ago

This one's my favorite. Any excerpt from the Corn Pop story would qualify as a close second.

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Stole my answer

The made up anecdote of him seeing two gay men kissing when Biden was a kid and his dad telling him "love is love" is very good too

Look fat, I invented allyship, alright?

they-were-comrades biden-rember

[–] buh@hexbear.net 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

America is a nation that can be defined in a single word: I was in the foot— foot— excuse me, in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago

Here's how I remember hearing it: "I've long said, America is a nation that can be defined in a single word...... ..... futeutuetpoetpeutefutedpbbth -- in the foothills of the Himalayas with Jinping..."

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 30 points 10 months ago

I agree with Joe, Americans should resolve their differences at the battle box.

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

can't forget the stories about the uncle he falsely claims was eaten by cannibals in Papua New Guinea

[–] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 2 points 10 months ago

For some reason I had thought this was RFK. More on-brand.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"Joe Biden is a rabid dog, he should be beaten to death with a stick"

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"If you like what you see, help me out; if not, you can vote for the other Biden."

It's accidentally a very good comment on US democracy

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

obama-medal

Vote for Hunter instead.

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

God, could my dad drive a car

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's a real quote? Jesus I thought hexbear made that up

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 8 points 10 months ago

Wild, right?

[–] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 26 points 10 months ago

“stand up” (to person in wheelchair)

[–] VapeNoir@hexbear.net 24 points 10 months ago

unintelligible

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 24 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

”You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier” is a good one, because it's clearly something his mushy brain came up, even though he claimed it's from a John Wayne movie chefs-kiss

”Four more years. Pause.” is an actual joke from Naked Gun.

”Raprock Obama”

[–] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 22 points 10 months ago

his last honest statement "nothing will fundamentally change"

[–] SkeletonQueen@hexbear.net 21 points 10 months ago

How has no one posted "I'm Irish" to the BBC asking for a comment? It's my favorite hands down

[–] CrispyFern@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

biden-point America can be summed up in a single word: asfljsdhflkjasd.

[–] sexywheat@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 10 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

Vote for the other Biden

[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I loved it when he talked about how Aunt Gertie was great at scratching backs and could make better rice pudding than the Greeks.

Just the fact that he hints at obscure dead relatives and white ethnic stuff like that makes it sound like one of those rambling stories my mom would tell me about growing up in the Bronx with her extended family.

Also the time he said "God save the Queen, man." He just said it out of nowhere.

[–] HarryLime@hexbear.net 20 points 10 months ago

In America, we resolve our differences at the Battle Box

[–] companero@hexbear.net 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So, thank you all. God bless you all. And let’s go — let’s go la- — lick the world. Let’s get it done. Thank you. (Applause.)

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

sounds like something on Rick & Morty

[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)
[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 13 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

honorary mention to inshallah-script

[–] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 17 points 10 months ago

'I trust you as far as i can throw your camera. I have a very good arm'

[–] MineDayOff@hexbear.net 16 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Personally I like "Presinauld Trunt"

[–] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

I still want to hear him say it

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago

Joetilda vs the Truntbull

[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 10 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 15 points 10 months ago

Hold it right there corn pop

[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

“The younger generation now tells me how tough things are—give me a break…No, no, I have no empathy for it, give me a break."

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 13 points 10 months ago

I'm a fan of the extended silences

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 12 points 10 months ago

“They used to bang their straight razors on the curb, put 'em in the rain barrel to get 'em rusty, remember that?"

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 11 points 10 months ago

Havudabuhbuh

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 10 points 10 months ago

And, by the way,

[–] LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

"And now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine, who has as much courage as he has determination, ladies and gentlemen, President Putin," Biden said, referring to Zelenskiy.

While correcting himself about two seconds later, Biden added: "President Putin, you're going to beat President Putin, President Zelenskiy. I am so focused on beating Putin."

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago

corn pop was a bad dude

[–] sovietknuckles@hexbear.net 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

We hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women are created, by the, you know, you know the thing

"You know the thing" is part of my everyday speech when I don't remember something completely

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)