this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
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toss up between "I got big hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun.", and "I worsked on the Paris Accord, with Deng Xiaoping, and the others!"

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[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Look, fat

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

Poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids

If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black

We're gonna cure cancer

[–] Weedian@hexbear.net 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

We finally beat Medicare

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

Poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids

This is the one that gets me every time

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Keep the record player on while they sleep!

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] btfod@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

This one's my favorite. Any excerpt from the Corn Pop story would qualify as a close second.

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Stole my answer

The made up anecdote of him seeing two gay men kissing when Biden was a kid and his dad telling him "love is love" is very good too

Look fat, I invented allyship, alright?

they-were-comrades biden-rember

[–] buh@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

America is a nation that can be defined in a single word: I was in the foot— foot— excuse me, in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Here's how I remember hearing it: "I've long said, America is a nation that can be defined in a single word...... ..... futeutuetpoetpeutefutedpbbth -- in the foothills of the Himalayas with Jinping..."

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 30 points 1 year ago

I agree with Joe, Americans should resolve their differences at the battle box.

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

can't forget the stories about the uncle he falsely claims was eaten by cannibals in Papua New Guinea

[–] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

For some reason I had thought this was RFK. More on-brand.

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Joe Biden is a rabid dog, he should be beaten to death with a stick"

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"If you like what you see, help me out; if not, you can vote for the other Biden."

It's accidentally a very good comment on US democracy

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

obama-medal

Vote for Hunter instead.

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

God, could my dad drive a car

[–] GlueBear@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's a real quote? Jesus I thought hexbear made that up

[–] btfod@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Wild, right?

[–] SteamedHamberder@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

“stand up” (to person in wheelchair)

[–] VapeNoir@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

unintelligible

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

”You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier” is a good one, because it's clearly something his mushy brain came up, even though he claimed it's from a John Wayne movie chefs-kiss

”Four more years. Pause.” is an actual joke from Naked Gun.

”Raprock Obama”

[–] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

his last honest statement "nothing will fundamentally change"

[–] SkeletonQueen@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

How has no one posted "I'm Irish" to the BBC asking for a comment? It's my favorite hands down

[–] CrispyFern@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

biden-point America can be summed up in a single word: asfljsdhflkjasd.

[–] sexywheat@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] hexaflexagonbear@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

Vote for the other Biden

[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I loved it when he talked about how Aunt Gertie was great at scratching backs and could make better rice pudding than the Greeks.

Just the fact that he hints at obscure dead relatives and white ethnic stuff like that makes it sound like one of those rambling stories my mom would tell me about growing up in the Bronx with her extended family.

Also the time he said "God save the Queen, man." He just said it out of nowhere.

[–] HarryLime@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

In America, we resolve our differences at the Battle Box

[–] companero@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So, thank you all. God bless you all. And let’s go — let’s go la- — lick the world. Let’s get it done. Thank you. (Applause.)

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

sounds like something on Rick & Morty

[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
[–] WhyEssEff@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

honorary mention to inshallah-script

[–] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago

'I trust you as far as i can throw your camera. I have a very good arm'

[–] MineDayOff@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Personally I like "Presinauld Trunt"

[–] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

I still want to hear him say it

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

Joetilda vs the Truntbull

[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

[–] Hello_Kitty_enjoyer@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Hold it right there corn pop

[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 14 points 1 year ago

“The younger generation now tells me how tough things are—give me a break…No, no, I have no empathy for it, give me a break."

[–] Aradina@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

I'm a fan of the extended silences

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

“They used to bang their straight razors on the curb, put 'em in the rain barrel to get 'em rusty, remember that?"

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Havudabuhbuh

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

And, by the way,

[–] LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

"And now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine, who has as much courage as he has determination, ladies and gentlemen, President Putin," Biden said, referring to Zelenskiy.

While correcting himself about two seconds later, Biden added: "President Putin, you're going to beat President Putin, President Zelenskiy. I am so focused on beating Putin."

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

corn pop was a bad dude

[–] sovietknuckles@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

We hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women are created, by the, you know, you know the thing

"You know the thing" is part of my everyday speech when I don't remember something completely

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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