this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] Wheaties@hexbear.net 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

For taking on this most serious responsibility, guardians will be compensated with a one-time $500 stipend. That is what state lawmakers allocated for this position.

...

[–] LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

$500 for one day seems like a good deal. They can't force you to keep showing up, right?

[–] regul@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago

The smart guys and the people this program was designed to just give taxpayer money to will 100% duck out after that check clears. The real problem is the sickos who stick around to play Fallujah against teenagers for free.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

The Nashville school shooting had an armed staff member, but no one knew who it was. And it was revealed that the armed staff member stayed home the day it got shot up lol

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

That's not even enough for a decent gun, spare mags, and a gun belt. To say nothing of like a first aid kit and whatever other crap.

[–] operacion_ogro@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago

Should be plenty as long as you buy second-hand from a private seller's trunk in the parking lot of your closest Walmart

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago (2 children)

To be fair it's not often a school gets more than one shooter in its history; all the school really needs is one gun and a handful of bullets in case the first misses or doesn't kill the child, and thankfully children die pretty easy.

(you know I racked my brain for like five minutes and couldn't think of a single way to say this that didn't sound ghoulish; that last bit at the end there was just me throwing my hands up and saying 'let's embrace the inner ghoul')

[–] Des@hexbear.net 12 points 2 months ago

holden-bloodfeast yesss yesss let it flow through you.. yesss

[–] Scarry@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

To be fair it's not often a school gets more than one shooter in its history

so-far

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

Lol you know these fucking losers are gonna gucci out their deagle clones while wearing an empty plate carrier

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 39 points 2 months ago (2 children)

“If you attack a school here in Utah, you’re going to be confronted,” said [Matt] Pennington. “it’s not a soft target anymore.”

just one of those cool things people with regular brains says right before tactically deploying themselves to affect a kinetic response after a family court ruling.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

right before tactically deploying themselves to affect a kinetic response after a family court ruling.

Do you have family that are cops? The wording is perfect. agony-yehaw

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 24 points 2 months ago (1 children)

lol, thankfully no. I've just heard so much of that mil-speak in media and observed it's infiltration into business lingo that I can code switch to it at will by simply decreasing the amount of oxygen going to my brain.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

"War on" and "battle against" and all that tacticool talk is used when talking about everything from poverty (and covering it up instead of actually helping with it) and cancer (which involves perseverance feel-good stories instead of actually helping people with it), too.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Paying cops to patrol schools and stop shootings won’t work because they just hide in fhe closet. Paying Paul Blart to show up in non-standardized gear will surely save the children.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 30 points 2 months ago

Idk if there's even anything worth saying about this, it's so monumentally silly. Aside from making cynical jokes about how long before one of these dorks guns down a kid, this is just... joker-amerikkklap

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 27 points 2 months ago

A know a fella who would help.

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 20 points 2 months ago

Yeah there's no way getting a bunch of low or non paid ex soldiers to come hang out at schools with guns can possibly go wrong. I definitely can't think of dozens of ways this is going to get people hurt or killed. Such a foolproof idea

[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 19 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Also holy shit what

“When you envision what the school secretary looks like, do you really envision that the person is the person who would run toward an issue?” Haney said.

What the fuck lol. The layers of fucked up in this statement is unreal. Utah delenda est

[–] asg101@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago

Just in case the "schools as delivery systems for slave plantations" (for-profit prisons) wasn't clear enough to anyone yet.

[–] take_five_seconds@hexbear.net 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

this shit is a volunteer position? wild.

[–] VHS@hexbear.net 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

there are going to some real unhinged far-right gun nuts champing at the bit to do this

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Like the chuds that get really excited after hurricanes and want to "stop looters" as an excuse to murder people.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 11 points 2 months ago

Right. The venn diagram of people in utah who have this much free time and would volunteer is actually a street plan of Dis, capital and fifth circle of hell.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 16 points 2 months ago

"The good news is that we can save money on background checks! Anyone willing to volunteer for this for a one-time $500 stipend? Fails"

[–] Crikeste@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Seeing my state mentioned in Chapo: 😳😳😳😳😳😳

I’ll go ahead and put my prediction here: Somebody volunteers for access, then does a mass shooting.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 9 points 2 months ago

My name is Robert McDichael and I heard you were hiring for the Armed Genital Inspector position?

[–] pnwml@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Who pays for the guns? The ammo? Pennington says guardians can use the stipend to buy firearms."

What are they going to be using? Hi Point or some cheap .22 hunting rifle? $500 ain't alot for firearms. I mean, it's an horrible idea that either places dangerous armed facists in schools or provides more cranking pressure on schools.

[–] The_Filthy_Commie@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 2 months ago

“Who pays for the guns? The ammo? Pennington says guardians can use the stipend to buy firearms.”

Come the fuck on, that guy's name is ''Pennington'' and he's penny-pinching.

[–] The_Filthy_Commie@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 2 months ago

Alright, we need to shut down Angloid naming conventions until we figure out what the hell is going on.