this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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I've been seeing a bunch of videos in my feed about how IGN is REFUSING to review the Lollipop Chainsaw remaster because they HATE Juliet Starling for being too SEXY

I got curious and tried to see if IGN had actually officially come out and declared they would not review Lollipop Chainsaw Repop because they had no problem reviewing the original in 2012. Nope, they had in fact been covering the remaster ever since it had been announced, though there is no review as of now at least.

All the other results in my Google search were predictably outrage slop videos and links to posts on the Asmongold visible-disgust and Critical Drinker kombucha-disgust subreddits. I clicked on one of the posts and among the hivemind of the most room temperature IQ chud redditors you can imagine abuzz about how horrible and woke IGN was being was one lone commenter asking if IGN had actually officially stated they would not review the game.

A guy responded that while it can't be proven IGN hasn't reviewed the game yet because they object to its content, it's probably the most likely reason morshupls

I fucking hate all of these people, the cynical right-wing agitators making up shit for views and the stupid gamer morons who lap it up because of vibes

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[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

They're all extremely miserable people. In the time they complain about problems they made up I've completed a few stellar indie titles.

I will always be winning they will always be losing

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 23 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That's why I like retro games sometimes. The only people talking about some obscure game I got running on a Windows 3.1 emulator on top of DOSBOX are other oldies like me that are like "hell yeah that game was fun."

The outrage pornographers are such miserable creatures, slouching from one rant to the next on a never ending journey of being unhappy about a hobby. like take up whittling or something, goddamn.

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

That's why I like retro games sometimes.

fuck yes, i love retro games since there's no hype cycle to affect my thoughts, and they come on discs or carts so i can hold them, and my poor little PSX whines every time it spins the CD (also it hates burned games lol for some reason, despite my buying it from the retro games shop with a modchip in it that they "found accidentally")

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Exactly! It's not part of the hype cycle. You said it perfectly. It's on my time and at my discretion. Exactly the way I want to spend my leisure time.

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

totes! what are you playing lately? @ashinadash@hexbear.net convinced me to try tactics ogre since i like stragedy games

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Been playing an old Roguelite called Castle of the Winds from 1989, it's got many of the classic Roguelike features you might expect but it's a bit more casual friendly with mouse support, a save/reload feature and tile based graphics instead of ASCII. It's a lot of fun.

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I LOVE THAY GAME OMG

I spent so many dumb hours in that game when I was tiny, the tiles were pretty great. I can still remember the layout of the first floor with the single dumb kobold lol.

I think I was finally about to beat it at one point and nicked the second game but I dont remember that as much.

I remember being endlessly fascinated with the textures of the money and all the different armours, and I love paper doll games because of this game. The colours were magnificent too lol, that shade of cyan for the floors is burned into my brain.

Edit: I never did figure out how the church spells worked in the town

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Me too! So many hours as a kid spent exploring the dungeons using the light spell to turn everything cyan. It's been a trip playing it as an adult. I actually know which stats to boost on character creation instead of "maximum strength because I am a big tough guy and I don't know what dexterity means."

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

haha oh man the character creation was so win 3.11core i loved the sliders - there weren't even numbers, right?

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're right no numbers, just gotta guesstimate with your eyeballs. Perfect for a kid with zero idea what the fuck they are doing lmao

I couldn't get it to work exactly how I wanted it (so opted for a version i run from my drive) but here's a browser version if you want to take a quick step down memory lane: https://archive.org/details/win3_CasWin1

DM me and later on when I get home I'll send you a link to the emulator version I'm using that you can have on your hard drive that runs via a single batch file, it has both parts 1 and 2

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

lol yep i set them randomly each time! totally clueless, oh man i'll check the link out tonight, thanks!

DM me and later on when I get home I'll send you a link to the emulator version I'm using that you can have on your hard drive that runs via a single batch file, it has both parts 1 and 2

oh, sick, would love that, would work with Wine you think?

[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

The game I've been playing the most lately is Flicky for the Genesis lol. I cant get enough of it and its endless so.

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 7 points 1 month ago

They’ve become everything they mocked tumblr for: angry, holier-than-thou Karens addicted to their own feelings of moral superiority…and proud of all of it!

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 29 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

pronouns Everything must be generically cishet male-gaze horny at all times and nonpolitical us-foreign-policy to the point of it looking like the suburbs right outside the freeze-gamer 's window except with more swords or else DEI is literally destroying western civilization pronouns

[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Yeah but even when a game they should like gets released they're not fucking happy about it unless they can imagine a scenario where someone with they/them pronouns shakes their fist in impotent rage at the thought of these guys having fun

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

True; there's often videos about how this epic beacon of nonpolitical basedness is TRIGGERING FEMINISTS (insert that one picture here, you know the one) so-true

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

didnt they cry about the jiggle physics being toned down already?

edit: yes, yes they did, no i will not link. it's not worth it

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The capital G Gamers problem is that they want their medium to be viewed as respectable art, which I don't even object to, I think games are art, but at the same time, they want all and every coverage, ever, to be product review akin to a car. It is simoultaneously high respectable art and a commodity to be used up - see here also the weird dollars per hour fun calculation that I've never seen with books or movies despite those being expensive.

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hot (fake) take: dollar per hour of fun calculations were invented to make it clear what a good deal Kerbal Space Program 1 is.

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Where do you draw the line at finishing KSP?

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

Finishing a game of KSP? When I can't load my ground bases without them exploding from the kraken or crashing the game.

Finishing KSP: not possible

[–] AtomPunk@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When you’ve gone above your pain tolerance for docking in orbit and refuse to use MechJeb.

Maybe someday I’ll expand past Minmus…

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

Docking is easy especially if both ships are under control. Just control each ship from the relevant docking port, target the other ship's relevant docking port, and go forward. Swap between the two craft as needed.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 21 points 1 month ago

It's the same formula for all chud slop

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The fact that this is what they're mad at really shows how few real problems they must have

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I want to agree with that, and honestly it's probably true. but I used to know this guy. we both played video games maybe 20 years ago, but moved apart, lost touch etc.

I only hear scattered things about his situation which, honestly, sounds like a total clusterfuck deluxe. almost all of it self inflicted naturally, but a shit show of epic proportions.

anyway, he complains about video games being too woke too. and buys like those $80 AAA games still, despite not being able to afford them. of course I want to be, "dude you need to stop worrying about this dumb shit and get your life right" but I never really talk to him directly anymore.

anyway, that said, I think there's a demographic of these "anti-woke" types that have an unhealthy boundary with the escapist aspect of games, and they obsess over shit like this to distract them from their real life problems.

[–] MayoPete@hexbear.net 9 points 1 month ago

It's everywhere. People getting weirdly obsessed over some form of consumption. It's also movie buffs, obscure music fans and record collectors, cosplay, trains, fucking Funko Pops...

And all of it boils down to people getting very angry over a product. It's not enough to enjoy the treats, everyone else must enjoy the treats YOUR way and you gotta have ALL the treats, the rarest treats, etc. to be the super special person. I swear this shit is messing up our brains the way lead messed with boomers...

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

who gives a shit about Lollipop Chainsaw anyway? It's like one of the most mid games ever made

[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Shadows of the Damned is the superior mid Suda game from the 2010s big-cool

I think Suda fans were just happy to have the game available again, though with the port apparently being shit you're probably better off emulating

Edit: Apparently the new port runs worse on Steam Deck than the PS3 version with RPCS3 michael-laugh

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Asmongold

every time i have to see his face in a yt search i want to cry

[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i went on a banning spree a while back, there's like 8 different channels that post clips, like what did this fucker ever even do? play wow badly?

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

what did this fucker ever even do?

i wonder this every day, how do these people get so popular

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You don't have a channel blocker? I use BlockTube and sponsor block on top of normal ad blockers. It really cuts down on all the chud shit.

[–] rtstragedy@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

i do, i just found the option in freetube a week ago, but sometimes i use the website out of laziness and well thats where i see them

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 4 points 1 month ago

I should make a topic with my shitlist. I have like 100 channels blocked lol