Do you have access to lembas bread, magical clothing, and the fate of all of Arda? No? Then don't do it, nerd.
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse
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This is what American Exceptionalism will do to a motherfucker. Choose one of the several long hikes with actual infrastructure, dumbass!
Nah, they'll be fine, well, fine-ish. The cops will see someone walking with a pack and arrest them for vagrancy before they can get into too much trouble from the elements.
But for real, I know next to nothing about this sort of thing and even I know 1. Do not fuck around with mountains 2. Do NOT fuck around with desert.
Oh, and one more thing: You're not walking to Mordor, you're walking through Mordor. There's next to no water, the water that's there is poison, the temperature swings wildly between extremes, and most of the humanoids you'll come across will get angry and violent if they see you
There's next to no water, the water that's there is poison, the temperature swings wildly between extremes, and most of the humanoids you'll come across will get angry and violent if they see you
So 
is pretty lore accurate
was enough to revise the Hitchhiker's Guide entry from mostly harmless — Ford Prefect, probably
Yeah, the idea of walking through Nevada, when you’re not extremely experienced, is insane to me.
Going through that part of the country for the first time was wild to me because until you're there it doesn't occur to you that there is no shade anywhere. Even in an air conditioned car you will still be uncomfortably warm because the sun will be beating down on you for the entirety of daylight. I can't even begin to imagine hiking through that, I'd be experiencing heatstroke within an hour.
Yeh. The walk to Mordor was much more hospitable than trekking across the American West.
I want to say that Mordor proper was actually pretty fertile agricultural land and that's why Sauron was able to project so much power - He had a very strong industrial and agricultural base to operate from.
Or you could go to New Zealand and hike from Hobbiton to Mount Ngauruhoe (the Mount Doom from the movies) in a quarter the distance, with more varied terrain, in a country with dedicated hiking huts, and probably chain together a bunch of hiking trails along the way.
But where is your sense of adventure? Where is the thrill of death lurking around every corner? Be it hypothermia, hyperthermia, dehydration, or Mormons.
Mormons
I'll stick to balrogs.
Mormons
The worst of all, and not just the transphobia — you might even encounter Mitt Romney.
do not fuck around in the great basin, I am always saying this
Wait this has to be a joke right? They plotted their way to walk through Death Valley. No one is that stupid right?
My first reaction was, is this guy literally trying to walk through the very aptly named death valley?
That looks boring as fuck, imagine walking across the Great plains. Just days and days of corn and grass.
Why don't they do the Appalachian Trail or something else cool and normal instead?
Idk I feel like the first part of the walk would be pretty varied, but once they get past the Rockies it would be so monotonous
You know, I think the last time someone did a long walk through Navajoland 3,500 people died and they wrote a national anthem about it.
Honestly I think American communists (if such a group even exists) should really prepare for a potential Long March if it ever comes to that.
This is nothing (~1500 miles on foot, likely on paved roads as well) compared to the Long March where Chinese communists trekked over 5600 miles through the most treacherous mountainous terrains across China while being pursued by the KMT set out to kill them.
The Long March took place over many months. I don't think these two are all that comparable.
It was also with a massive group of people. Which makes an entire world of difference.
It was also extremely demoralizing with an attrition rate of 90%. Only a few thousand made it to Yan’an, and most people they started out with would perish along the journey.
The feat was extraordinary, and what determination it would take to keep the revolution alive at all cost. Nobody even knew what the future would look like for them, the challenges ahead of them, let alone their ultimate victory!
Well the screenshot says 26 days of non-stop walking. If you factor in rest and sleep, it could easily be a 2-3 months endeavor at minimum.
The Long March was nearly a year, and yes I agree, not even remotely comparable given that the Chinese communists were trekking through uncharted wilderness of the mountain ranges.
I shudder to think what would have happened to world history if they had just decided to give up instead of keeping the revolution alive at all cost.
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It's possible, but it needs a lot of logistics. You need a top-noch ultralight pack and gear because it is going to be very heavy. The Colorado leg of the trip will probably be the easiest in that front because you can find water to purify in the Rockies and forests, but a lot of these legs seem over 50mi between cities with sparse water. This means you might need to carry >5l of water (haven't gone backpacking in deserts often, take this with a grain of salt) and a ton of food. You will need to hit every town you come across to restock and a ton of your equipment will break and it will be hard to replace high quality hiking equipment in Bumfuck, Nevada. I have no clue how you'd do the death valley leg safely and with enough water, food and shelter. The Rockies will rough you up a bit but at least there's water there, unlike the desert legs.
haven't gone backpacking in deserts often, take this with a grain of salt
I feel like that would be counterproductive.
Oddly enough, you would want many, many grains of salt. Since you sweat so much in the desert you need to be fairly careful to replenish electrolytes to avoid an imbalance.
This really should not be your first hike, though. Maybe that goes without saying.
i might be mistaken but isnt it against the law not to stop and check on someone you see broke down or hiking or whatever in death valley? i think its one of the only places in america that has such a law
I hope they're just walking on the highway because that route is a death sentence if you try to pathfind your way to the end.
Literally going through the worst mountains, deserts, and basins just for a fucking bit.
Right, didn't Frodo go through relatively hospitable if extremely wild terrain for most of it? Like yes Moria sucked, but until Mordor I remember it being pretty varied but otherwise normal terrain
Yeh. The hike to Mordor was all through temperate England. And even Mordor wasn't anywhere near as bad as the Western US deserts.
The Donner party has entered the chat.
is he stupid? does he think the fellowship would've walked all that way if they had access to trains?
Well if they're trying to do some fucked up Lord of the Rings style pilgrimage or whatever really what they should be doing is making the trek while avoiding the US surveillance state. You know, for authenticity.
Nah, it's like the giant eagles. Sauron might see them
he cant see trains cos they're operated by poor people
living is an elaborate way to kill yourself. the goal is making the rube goldberg machine go on as long as possible.
adding days to my trip by zig-zagging the path for no reason
The majestic scenery of... Utah?
I know you're probably just making a joke but Utah is legit like one of the top 5 most beautiful states. There's Arches and Canyonlands National Park to the east by Moab (as well as some beautiful state parks). As you travel south east from there you hit Capitol reef and then Zion! Also on the borders of Arizona and Nevada there's Monument Valley and Great Basin. Just got back from an incredible trip out there lol.
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mount zion and stuff
It's doable if you have a significant support group that can cache food and water for you and drive you too and from shelter at night. Long distance treks like this usually rely on having a lot of help.
Doing it alone, though, you're right, it's just a very complicated way to seriously injure yourself. If you're a hundred miles from anywhere and roll your ankle without someone who can come get you you're going ot have a bad day.
Just do the AT, PCT or CDT, you liitle freak.
PCT has become extremely hazardous in the last few years due to global warming. Less water, more fires, much more intense heat. It's pretty grim.
Yeah, it’s so sad. I did it a few years ago in a low burn year, and even then, we had to skip over maybe 200 miles of fires.
If the Mormons don't get him, Ceasar's Legion will
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