chapotraphouse

One thousand years of Cold War. Nothing ever happens.

us will nuke itself, probably the west coast, and blame a foreign nation, as an excuse to glass as much as possible. eco-fascism follows, big chunks of the world turned into a cratered smear, the rest exploited down to its remaining yield, then we all fucking die

also we'll get sent to work for a big corporation and that's just your job now or else. feudalism but corporate and worse

Ukraine will very slowly lose its war against Russia, and Israel will very slowly lose its war against all of its neighbors. NATO and the US will turn on Israel at the absolute last second so they can pretend they're on the right side of history, which will convince nobody, but all state governments will play along because it's just easier that way. A bunch of seemingly unrelated countries in South America and Africa will adopt anti-US foreign policies, publicly using rhetoric about the US-backed genocide against the Palestinian people, but practically because the US was revealed to be a paper tiger. China will get 90% of the rebuilding contracts and experience a post-war economic boom, but it won't be as notable as the US's WW2 boom because China's economy is already so large and rapidly growing. The US will continue to think of itself as a great world power despite no longer being one, like Britain.

It's possible another US-backed front opens up, but I actually don't think that's so likely, as a Harris admin would be a continuation of the Biden admin, which is presumably already getting all the wars their backers want, or a Trump admin would fail to put together a war again. If the US does start another war, it'll be even more secondary than Ukraine/Russia, and accelerate the same conclusions as before. Unless the US actually starts a war over Taiwan, which I think is very unlikely because literally nobody benefits, but wars like that have happened before, and if it does then the results will probably be the same as outlined above but faster, but the chances of that going nuclear are high enough that I'm moving to a cave in the mountains if it happens.

All of this will of course be a stream of horrors for anyone anywhere near the fighting.

Would be peak doomerisn if the current Communist Party of Russia managed a miracle and became head of government, only for them to be just as reactionary as the current government and just as capitalist.

Same as my prediction for hockey post-season: Boston gives Toronto a first-round exit.

big drop in real estate prices in 2027 is all i know for sure

1. I die within a few hours of the first nuke getting launched.

Gonna be fought with sticks and stones

Gotta go with self nuke on this one

It's basically a free-space, but America will escalate/start another genocide. Maybe we speedrun Poland to looking like Ukraine is now?

It's gunna' be so profitable.

1. Land War in Asia
2. "tactical nukes are fine, bruh" - they are not fine
3. US goes down before Israel does
4. We get a really dumb attempt at federating two countries, it works just well enough to not fall apart
5. Ukraine goes down just before US does
6. Humanity and capitalism survive, this is not dumb enough for our final round yet

55555555 except despite the fact that they identify it as a US isotope they will somehow blame ~~libya~~ iran and invade iran

after some time there will be committee hearings that determine that it was a known excuse internally and they use the words "biggest removeding excuse" and there will be a genius lyrics about it with amy goodman like this but the scandal will only ripple out as far as a couple democracy dies in darkness headlines and then they'll continue making money off it

#1 is already happening, though the US will bring out the nukes (and probably even bioweapons, etc) before they ever stop being a bunch of genocidal rampaging barbarians. And I expect they will get destroyed by their victims' retaliation and hope it will be as decisive a retaliation as necessary, no matter what it takes.

#2 will come in time as well, I think. Hell, I think that if things escalate far enough, even India and perhaps the rest of BRICS will be forced to act, militarily- a basic understanding of US/western nuclear exchange planning, as well as the sheer inhumanity of the western imperialist system, will show just how deranged the west is and how intolerable and destructive it will be (should it be able to maintain its fascistic forces from within- the hope being of course that the empire could implode from within and that those involved in the processes of escalating to nuclear war and worse have the sense to revolt should push come to shove).

#3 is lowkey happening, IMO. I suppose if nothing else they seem to be imitating what works in some degree (the Chinese model of development and even the Soviet legacy which is not yet fully dead). Without the principles of proletarian rule I expect it will regress in time, but it's doing something halfway right (and in foreign policy it's doing a hell of a lot right), I suppose.

#4 is basically happening everyday, isn't it?

And #5... isn't going to be an accident, if it happens. The same country that has bombed its own civilians, which has used bioweapons and chemical weapons on its unaware civilians, which uses militarized police against its civilians, will naturally bomb them again, and nukes aren't out of the question. And honestly if the US somehow doesn't bring MAD upon itself before it gets to such a point, it'll probably strike those preventing it from doing so- maybe with nukes, who's to say?

I will die in the radioactive fallout.

idk but if Hillary Duff makes Cadet Kelly 2 we should probably start heading for the bunkers

I'm hoping no one bothers to nuke Australia much, mostly.

That's all I got, let's On the Beach this shit. "This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with several bangs and a fart noise"

a gas pipeline between Europe and Africa gets nordstreamed,

I'm going 1.

They're going to abandon Ukraine but Azov will escalate as insurgents and maybe abroad.

Zionists will overextend their fronts and suffer losses that the US won't be prepared or able to turn around. They might resort to nukes on the way down. Probably.

Y'know the saying "never get involved in a land war in Asia"? Pretty much everyone disregards that, and instead takes a page from Russia on consistently having the most troll-ish foreign policy.

Tuerkeeyeh leaves NATO and starts making moves on a pan-Türkiq alliance. Also they annex the parts of Syria heretofore held by their army and the FSA, effectively ending the 14-year civil war. Al-Assad al-Dimashq does the United Russia two-step and returns to the presidency in 2029.

Kashmir conflict pops off into outright war between India and Pakistan. China arms Pakistan, Russia arms India, the US advocates for India but arms both sides, not getting further involved because it's staring China down across the Strait. The Naxalites are effectively defeated in detail, and flee to Nepal.

Yoon Suck Y'all gets doohickied (first as farce, second as farce), and the result ends up being that Koreas decide it's a good time to reapproach. But that ends up meaning that they just allow a couple visas, the DMZ stays in place.

Poland yolos into the Ukrainian rump state, this time they're the ones Partitioning. Russia is too busy holding off an insurgency in central Ukraine and proxy wars in Africa to contest western Ukraine.

The Sahel gets extremely hot, literally and figuratively. There are a few more cast changes from Guinea to the CAR but somehow they all stay really well-aligned with each other. France tries to do an intervention at some point and gets promptly chased out; this leads to their next election being 45% RN and 35% leftists. Sudan is the only Sahel country that doesn't end up sovereign, they become a Russian proxy. With control over their mineral wealth, in the face of desertification they are able to avoid famine with increased grain imports from Russia and India, for now.

The UK gets involved in some AUKUS complication that makes the Triton missiles a pressing matter. Scotland is finally pressured to leave. Especially without the Labour strongholds in Scotland, Starmer immediately loses a vote of no confidence, but the party keeps pivoting to the right and stays in power for awhile, mirroring the Democrats in America.

Mexico, Nicaragua, and Venezuela start more brazenly breaching the Cuba embargo. Losing its grasp on Colombia, the US State Department tries to turn Guyana into its regional outpost but it's too little too late, the pink tide gets redder with each passing year.

We end up getting new military juntas in Myanmar and Thailand, but also in Bangladesh and Cambodia too. India likes this "Asian Dictatorship Belt", China and Vietnam aren't happy about it but they don't do anything about it. More CQC border shenanigans between China and India end up morphing into a cross between rugby and kabaddi. Deepfakes of Erdogan and Putin playing this sport are stunningly popular, and it becomes the 2nd most popular sport on the planet in the 21st century.

Japan keeps rearming, and they goad the Philippines into fighting a naval war in the SCS. The Philippines gets trounced but no border changes happen except for renouncing a claim on the Spratlys. Learning from this, Japan decides not to go after China, but BBM is deposed and the country careens into civil war, with the NPA starting to make gains. All throughout this, China still doesn't make a move on Taiwan.

Israel strikes and kills at least 5 consecutive leaders of each of Iran, the IRGC, Hamas, Hezbollah, and Ansarallah. They still lose the war, and for the first time in 75 years, the grinding roller of settlement expansion is reversed, with a few more West Bank settlements closing down. Likud eats shit, Benny Gantz starts a "Moderate Party" that sweeps the election but continues to govern like fascists.

The international blockade on Gaza is de jure lifted, but de facto Israel still limits who and what comes in. Sea is the only way in because Egypt joins Israel in keeping the land border closed. The US spends a huge amount of resources propping up el-Sisi and MBS as open revolt pops up.

Kamala wins the election and makes Tom Cotton her secretary of state. She reinstates the draft, but instead of actually deploying, they build The Wall and set up a whole bunch more prisons for draft-dodgers.