Just like a dog, Vance too fucks couches!
this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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My dog is better than him if only because he, one, grew out of it and, two, hates the police and kept barking at a female pig when she came over and wanted us to snitch on someone
looks a lot like a kelly. i had to double take to figure out this isnt ironic
my dude really did capture the essence of these shitty conservative comics didnt he
It's Tina Toon, Ben Garrison's wife so naturally you'd think this insanity was a Kelly comic.
She draws cartoons and her last name is toon? That's zany
No, she is a Toon, like Roger Rabbit style. thats her in the comic, carrying her iconic "women voters" bag
her right arm is super long which helps with cartooning
You see I've drawn my opponent as a stinky dog and my favored candidate as a cute puppy. Checkmate woke moralists
They're both hideous, racist ghouls, but Walz really shit the bed to my understanding (though the majority of AmeriKKKans may or may not care). That "wehrmacht Walz" post elsewhere on Hexbear comes to mind...
Overall I just hope they both die. 
Walz felt less polished and made more mistakes but I think Vance lost the debate with 1-2 really bad responses.
Could anything Vance said have topped this? https://hexbear.net/post/3602472?scrollToComments=false
(I'm aware MSM is trying to paint it as a "verbal slip/mistake"- but when you read the context it makes absolutely no sense for it to have been anything but deliberate)
Not morally, but the "You agreed not to fact check" was probably a bigger blunder to the American people than supporting per-emptive genocide.
Could there be anything more American, than being called out for spouting total BS though? Bald eagles probably wept at the sight.
I am so glad women aren't actually this dumb
My mom, a republican, almost voted for Kerry "because he had better hair." She liked Bush, wanted Bush to win, but she viewed him as the less attractive candidate so she struggled to vote for him.
before Riker grew the beard, there was the time Lincoln grew the beard
What a shit comic. Just top to bottom utter shit. Irregardless of political leaning. This is just the boomer version of "Ah see I've drawn my candidate as the Chad wojack, and I've drawn yours as soyjack."
An ideal political comic for the kind of boomers that actually enjoy reading Family Circus.
This seemed more like a stone toss rip-off. He has that one ableist comic about two groups and then there's a third group with deformities. I don't remember what the original labels were because it's been reused so many times.
Stonetoss is an outright neo-nazi.
Yah which is why it wouldn't surprise me if the Garrisons were copying him lol
I really need to get to the heads of people who draw these with grade A calipers.
That puppy is gonna go wild with the sofa
It takes a special level of boomer brain to see an ideal political candidate as an adorable puppy you want to take home, especially if that puppy is a gross Reddit/4chan fusion dance product.
As stated above, something something sexual pathology and I don't want to make anyone upset with my take on Tina's, with her self insert 
.
But.
If JD Vance is a pup, is he going to be beaten when he's punished when he's been a bad boy? Given to strangers to train him? Made to sit in a cage for hours on end? Forced to wear a muzzle? Uncomfortable training collar or an annoying harness? Left in their cage overnight in their own piss and shit as their master sleeps? Long walkies? Public urination and defecation? Couch fucking for sure. Peanut butter? Specifically said pup, so don't @ me. Big bone to nom on certainly. Oh I definitely feel he'd go through the trash if he wasn't fed too. Could also have a plastic water bottle to chew and stim on. Any Dom's feel free to comment, only read one pup play thread on Reddit out of curiosity, so I'm not super knowledgeable of what else would be in store. Definitely know he'd mainly only be 'watching'. Oh oh and getting fixed. :3
I'll give Walz this. He isn't a graveyard for charisma, or a black hole of charisma that makes everything and everyone around him less appealing. If I wasn't a cynical commie, I probably wouldn't even hate him. He seems normal as fuck. For the average person he's the first political figure on a major scale that hasn't come off like a weird alien since Obama went away. He was a good pick as far a the dems getting votes are concerned. Even the smallest modicum of relatebility makes you by far the most normal guy in this farce.
So apparently both Garrisons have some weird zoo fetish
Laugh if you must, but this is one of the least horny depictions of a woman seen in conservative media
we can all admit one of jd vance's most appealing qualities, especially to women, is how fuckable he is. he's a total gigachad. especially when you compare him to waltz, who is only mildly fuckable.
all the couches love him!
He's got upholstery from different area codes
I'm waiting for Nate Silver to weigh in on the fuckability of the VP candidates
I wouldn't be able to figure out the political stance of this comic without the name tags. Anyone could have drawn this.
There’s a joke here about the pet-eating migrant cabal
JD Vance is making inroads with women voters after his Vice Presidential Debate. The radical Democrats have been smearing Vance since he entered the race, calling him weird, making lewd allegations about JD and a sofa, and the usual lies about anyone who is associated with Trump.
The VP debate shattered those Democratic lies and showed JD Vance as he really was: An emphatic, friendly, and knowledgeable person who loves the country and its people. By contrast Tim Walz, the Minnesota governor, looked nervous and ‘weird’ with his strange facial expressions, wide open eyes, and obvious lies. Walz doubled down on stupidity when he said he was a ‘knucklehead’ and that he was friends with ‘school shooters.’ A lot of people were shocked by that. All Walz could do was attack Trump over and over while JD Vance offered actual solutions to the problems cause by Biden-Harris policies.
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Women voters were impressed by JD Vance. He brings youth and more compassion to the Trump campaign, which is exactly what is needed to win over woman voters. In addition, there are reports of JD Vance possibly winning over one of the Democrat’s main voter bases, the gays. 
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So what is your choice America? JD. Vance or the ‘Walz-a-doodle’ ?
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and more compassion
Compassion for what? Groypers?
winning over one of the Democrat’s main voter bases, the gays
I don't even know how to mock that, even how it's presented.
In addition, there are reports of JD Vance possibly winning over one of the Democrat’s main voter bases, the gays.
blacks rule
Something something sexual pathology, idk
cw: me and my own dumbass take on these brainworms. Keep in mind I'm tired and silly and don't actually want to bang politicians, I mean, unless they were actually cool, or I was fleecing them or strictly business, and by business I mean revolution.
Will say that Vance is handsome, to me, as a bottom who likes MEN, but not necessarily Chad chaderson, but like handsome, proportional, outdoorsy, yet nerdy, chonkers, that can at least match, if not exceed my, uh, length and or girth.( Just so my Fed handlers who control a little bit of my algo know so they can find the perfect partner to sabotage me with) BUT knowing who he is as a candidate, which forms how I know him, ruins it. Completely. If waltz was chill after a long convo and a few too many beers , then Vance could watch as he fucked the couch. Not into much much older men though so I wouldn't be able to look at him during. Guess it'd have to be me, Walt's from behind and then Vance staring at me as I stare back, as he forcefully dominates the cuck furniture. like I have no idea if it has to be a couch or if a recliner could work. Maybe a futon? IDK doesn't matter, every universe where Vance is a detestable human being, he watches, simple as.
Have not watched the debate at all. But just the vibes I get from either of them in the media rn