this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2024
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Small nations in 1444 say “I’ve got my whole life ahead of me” No you don’t the Ottoman Empire (debt) is coming!!

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[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 37 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

"small but notable" lmaoooo sometimes I wish I had this kind of person's main character syndrome.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 8 points 4 weeks ago

So many freeze-gamer think they'd be the king, or at least the vizier behind the throne, instead of the ground up stuffing between the castle's stones.

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[–] REgon@hexbear.net 32 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Explaining socialism to a paradox-player
"So imagine you're a country..."

[–] AmericaDelendaEst@hexbear.net 17 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Basically the plot of Victoria 3

[–] lorty@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 4 weeks ago

Then they nerf it because it disagrees with your ideology

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 4 weeks ago

"So imagine you go communist as Mexico and the United States decides to ignore WW2 and the Great Depression to invade you"

[–] RomCom1989@hexbear.net 25 points 4 weeks ago

I'm just like Ulm

[–] SacredExcrement@hexbear.net 23 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Dudes will say shit like they identify with the kingdom of Burgundy, but than refuse to acknowledge other people's pronouns

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 4 weeks ago

killed by spain/absorbed by france

[–] Tomorrow_Farewell@hexbear.net 19 points 4 weeks ago

I am a small but notable rogue servitor cluster. Do not resist.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 17 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah nah legit a lot of HRE principalities were pretty much just one broke ass elector with no qualifications against the world.

[–] AmericaDelendaEst@hexbear.net 16 points 4 weeks ago

Nah you're lucky if you're an elector there's like 8 of those but like 50000 little shithole principalities and counties

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

My favourite example was the Duchy of Oświęcim (later infamous for Auschwitz camp location) which were three small towns and like 45 villages, and then it got divided further to the three even smaller duchies of Oświęcim, Zator and Toszek.

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 4 weeks ago

European history be like:

utrecht is going to be my entire personality now

[–] ItalianMessiah@hexbear.net 16 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

Someone should make a legit paradox battle royale game. Whoever paints a fantasy map wins, you can even have defeated players join up and dukes and counts and get rewarded by how high in the hierarchy they are.

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Map game fortnite could legit be something.

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago

I thought I wanted VR porn, but actually...

[–] AmericaDelendaEst@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

This would just be a version of like utopia or trajan or 50000 other text based games but with a map and UI

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 4 weeks ago

Any versions of those with a map and UI?

Dwarf Fortress was ascii garble (still played it) until it was given graphics and a U.I

[–] lorty@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

That's just paradox MP in public lobbies.

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 4 weeks ago

My thoughts lmfao

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 10 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

Please don't, every time Paradox get some MP ideas main single game suffers from it greatly, also no fun brigade is always circling like vultures watching for it, ready to fuck things up even further.

[–] Tervell@hexbear.net 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

CK2 did have the Shattered World setting, which can setup a game where each county starts out as an independent ruler. I assume actually trying to play it as a multiplayer game with a decent quantity of players would run into netcode issues though, Paradox games seem to struggle pretty bad with crashes and desyncs when the player count goes up (and besides, even if they didn't, you're probably going to struggle to find several dozen other map sickos to play with you for hours each day sicko-wistful)

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[–] huf@hexbear.net 14 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

hahahahhaahahahahhahahahahah

hooooohahahahahahahah

hoooooooooooooooo

hahahahahahahahaha snort these people cannot be real

[–] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 14 points 4 weeks ago (8 children)

playing video games should be punishable by death. this is not a bit, i am 100% serious

Death to America.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 13 points 4 weeks ago

Wow can't wait to screenshot this and post it over on .ee or whatever and cry in public

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[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 12 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 13 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 7 points 4 weeks ago

The period-fitting hat/helmets and weapons chefs-kiss

[–] Sulvor@hexbear.net 12 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (3 children)

As a map-toucher, some music in Paradox games has no business going as hard as it does.

EU4 - Sabaton - A Lifetime of War

Sabaton - The Art of War

Sabaton - The Lion From the North

CK2 - Going to War

[–] Palacegalleryratio@hexbear.net 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Ck2 had some real bangers.

[–] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Yeah, but CK3 have one of the worse music of all PDX games, literally nothing catches the ear there.

Stellaris also have great soundtrack, though expansions since probably Utopia are worsening it, but that can be turned ingame just to vanilla music.

[–] RomCom1989@hexbear.net 5 points 4 weeks ago

I will not stand for this Machine Age OST slander

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[–] CantaloupeAss@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago
[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago

Map-touchers

New name for Hetalia fans just dropped.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I dunno, I guess I never had gamer-brain.

For a long time even as a horny teen I kinda looked at fan-service slop in games as really...disturbing? Not disturbing in a creepy way, but like disturbing in a "I don't want to see your porn stash" kind of way, get what I mean? A lot of romances in games (mass effect) I felt to be really inflicted by "Written by a man" syndrome. That meme from M.E, "Let's bang, okay?" is basically how I felt every game-romance went after like maybe a chapters-worth of interaction.

Then again, fictional romances don't do it for me at all. They always feel too saccharine. If I hadn't ever got into the dating world, was truly "gamer-brained" I would have assumed I'm aromantic or something.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 11 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

I totally get you.

I was a teenager in the "back when games journalism was ethical" (according to modern cryptofascists) 90s when awooga was a primary marketing strategy for almost every game, even games that didn't really have polygon booba in them at all or even just the consoles themselves.

[–] 666@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)

Exactly. It's like all of that but now it's become a straight up streamlined commodity in games. Lara Croft is one of the first few examples I can think of that was deliberately over-sexualized. Now it feels like every game is trying to copy Overwatch.

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[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Forsaken, the first game advertised here, actually had a nude code for the female characters yea

I liked the game, just too bad about the extremely cringe marketing.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I never played it; just seemed like a Descent clone with fancy new colored lightning in what little I could find out about the actual game that wasn't that clownishly horny marketing.

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 5 points 4 weeks ago

I liked it because I wanted more games like Descent kitty-birthday-sad

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