this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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all 40 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] simplejack@lemmy.world 106 points 3 days ago (4 children)
[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 82 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

An absolute classic.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

I’m ready for a lot that’s new

[–] MrJukes 8 points 2 days ago

You're talking about the world's foremost analrapist.

[–] Eiri@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What is this supposed to be?

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 days ago

"a new start"

But when it's coming from the world's first analyst/therapist (AKA "analrapist"), who can tell...

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"A new start" but with "nu" instead od new because too few letters

[–] Eiri@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

Oh thanks. I'd have never guessed

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 days ago

I don't get it. What's wrong with a Java Industrial Standard Library Object Relational Database?

[–] swab148@lemm.ee 36 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This implies the existence of jizz serfs

[–] Vespair@lemm.ee 4 points 2 days ago

You've met my ex's?

[–] winkly@lemmy.world 37 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 102 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Benjaben@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Still, I would've been disappointed if someone hadn't just typed it out. Probably woulda felt like I had to.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Alternatively, they may be complaining about the typo...

[–] Metostopholes@midwest.social 18 points 3 days ago

And yet the DMV wouldn't let me get "CUMKING" smh

[–] abbadon420@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago

Merry jismas, everyone

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

JisLorD

Is "J" equal to "L" or "D"?

[A] J=L

[B] J=D

Algebra Class here we go again with these fucking variables.

Car must belong to a math teacher.

[–] Dalvoron@lemm.ee 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Nah clearly it's a truth table

L    |    D    |    J = L V D
1    |    1    |    1
1    |    0    |    1
0    |    1    |    1
0    |    0    |    0
[–] ThomasCrappersGhost@feddit.uk 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Are you sure that they didn’t mean it as “Jiz Lord”?

[–] sunbrrnslapper@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago

It is right up there with ANUSTART.

[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 2 days ago

we need a vieweaskeriverse community

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Guess Sircumalot didn't fit

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

jeremiah?

no.. he was a bullfrog.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago
[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Jizzlord, came 3 days after getting poled? Well hung, massive woody? I am so sorry for these awful jokes.

[–] 4am@lemm.ee 9 points 3 days ago

Nailed hard, women wept for days afterward

[–] Prethoryn@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

My name must start with a J. I can needed that boost of confidence

[–] yannic@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] SmoothLiquidation@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

That show was surprisingly good.

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

I haven't felt this warm and fuzzy since everone was wearing those "What Would Jordan Do?" bracelets!

Thanks guys!

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Cum they told me for rum a bum bum

[–] Zier@fedia.io 3 points 3 days ago

[Looks down the street] Everyone run, he's cumming!

[–] TheLastOfHisName@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Uuuuh...dude....?