this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Hiiii!

Today: a short yap about computer hardware:

Damn I love the AM4 socket its so upgradable yay, bought a Ryzen 9 5900X for our old desktop soon to be homelab and so excited for it.

Computers are fun! ~~(and expensive)~~


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[–] GenderIsOpSec@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

In the most recent Larian community news post about Baldur's Gate 3:

our Community Team took the next most natural step and joined Tumblr - because if the gang are going to star in a thousand slow-burn romance fics, we might as well be there to see it.

it's like they follow me~

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[–] President_Obama@hexbear.net 27 points 2 days ago (3 children)
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[–] dragongloss@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago (2 children)

trans girls with deep voices are super hot

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 17 points 2 days ago

shout out to transgirls that sound like whiny preteens doggirl-hi

If only I was one of them. trans-sad

[–] Bearlifter@hexbear.net 19 points 2 days ago

All I have playing in my head is, what am I supposed to do.

I feel like crying but I can't.

With Vampire attacks ramping up, my characters wife and two daughters living on the edge of whiterun in a homestead with only the guard dog vigilance seemed too precarious.

So I moved them to my newly renovated Golden Hills farm. With a powerful mage Runik as my steward, an armoured guard troll and vigilance, they're much safer.

Also Brenuin my farm hand looked after my daughter Lucia when they were both homeless and Embry lived in Riverwood with my wife Camillia. So there's familiar faces even if they're two drunks.

[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

CW: GenitaliaTried tucking for the first time (in private). I got some compression panties from Tomboy X. They are expensive, but seem to work. Unfortunately, I got an erection from gender euphoria that ruined the tuck, but I was able to try on some pants that I had gotten and really like but couldn't wear due to the fit as it regards the untucked crotch.

Also, starting to do voice training exercises. It's neat to feel and manipulate the larynx, although I can see how it's going to take a lot of practice and effort to sound natural/consistent. Got laser hair removal scheduled as well. Just going to be $75/session for the the face/neck, which isn't bad at all.

Regardless of the broader context, I am happy to be making consistent transition progress.

[–] Zorothamya@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

starting to do voice training exercises

What resources are you using? Because I tried one video, and I think I'm definitely doing something wrong. I couldn't get my larynx into a stable position, it would always shift, and then I got hiccups after trying to talk.

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 9 points 1 day ago (3 children)

If you have the time, I would really recommend this livestream series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymmGg1K09QI

The big plus point of this is that you can watch other beginners (that don’t already have developed their muscles) try the exercises and get immediate feedback on it. That’s a really valuable thing that should help you with avoiding common beginner mistakes.

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depressingthe state government here are pulling a terf island and pausing puberty blockers from being prescribed through the public system for under 18's deeper-sadness

since there was literally already a review done last year (that found kids were in no way being coerced into hormone treatment but instead that wait lists were way too fucking long - at 577 days for some patients), i'm guessing this is just an excuse to defer to the Cass review. i kinda guessed something like this would happen soon but shit's really making me want to niko-cocktail

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

More men should show me their soft bellies with their little treasure trails

They would if they weren't cowards

[–] President_Obama@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

skeleton-wave another boyposter, finally

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] President_Obama@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)
[–] Wendy_Pleakley@hexbear.net 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I could see myself in a lesbian relationship tho

[–] Wendy_Pleakley@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

In the process of getting a therapist. Hoping to hear back this week!

Venting, Probably InsaneI had a bad day yesterday. Really lost my cool, lost my glasses then got frustrated with my brother over text trying to talk about it. I hit a level in my emotions that I am not comfortable with, so I need to change.

My new glasses were like, part of feminizing my appearance, so it's upsetting not to have them. Glasses are the only thing protecting others from my intense yet forlorn stare. They help me see, also.

I guess I got caught up in assuming that just because my brother is also trans, that he would like, be more understanding of this or something. He came out 10 years younger than I am. He had our parents. Nobody knows what I dealt with in high school, and they'll never ask.

I worry more and more that everyone in my life likes their Quiet Little Brother who Doesn't Speak, and don't have a ton of room for that to change. I feel like I have to work 150% to match other people's social competency in most settings. So speaking of my needs is just really hard.

It's hurtful to call someone your favorite person and then just keep them in a little box and disregard their emotions and their problems when they get too big. You can at least say you don't want to talk about it. That'd be a step up.

Equally fun is processing that I'm probably autistic and have an entire other theater to wage war on in terms of understanding myself.

So yeah, I feel completely out of my element in just about every way imaginable. I'm hoping that therapy will help.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

spoilerAww, losing your glasses suck. I wore my boy glasses for a while, even after socially transitioning and starting hormons but it was absolutely more feminizing when I picked girl glasses. I should've got girl glasses so much earlier, lol

You've never talked about your highschool stuff on here before, I don't think. Did you want to vent about it? I have no idea if dredging it up with make you feel worse or better. Personally, I was a little upset my mom never knew how much I was struggling with my gender and identity during highschool. On the one hand, fair, I didn't really know until I was like 25 and in hindsight it was obvious. On the other, that was my mom... someone I had hoped who could've seen.

For me, I learned to keep my problems small and not take up space. My brother and my sister had way huge needs, emotional, physical. I felt I was doing my part (like starting before kindergarten) by not talking about my stuff. When I talk to her about it now, she finds it painful and sometimes shuts it down. I've told her I didn't like my childhood and she cried, I didn't mean to hurt her but it was true. I've talked to her about how having children was an obvious mistake for her, she should never have had me at 18 years old to a guy she barely knew and that while I guess I was thankful cause I exist, to not expect any of me or my siblings to have their own children considering what we had grown up with - in response to talking about grandkids, her youth etc. I remember opening up a photo album she kept, I saw her jumping on a bed, fresh faced 18. My dad had taken the photo and it was their first apartment together. All I could feel was "get out get out you should not be there leave" but of course, as much as I could have wished for that, it all happened.

Anyway, even when I was very little how I learned to "help" my mom was to keep things inside and quiet. To be the good kid out of the problem ones. So she doesn't really know me even though she raised me to 18 and we talked often. She's often surprised by my interests (like in horror movies, apparently it's something I share with my dad 😬 ugh) or my personal pursuits, like theatre or violin or math. Even when we talked it was mostly about her or my siblings. I'm trying to break that and bring her in to stuff going on with me and to talk about things I had hidden, especially after I came out to her.

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[–] Azarova@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

doompostingyou ever feel the need to just rot in bed all day and not do anything because whats the point in doing anything if the world is careening off a cliff with the pedal welded to the proverbial floor? catgirl-flop

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago

I feel this way when I’ve slept most of the day on accident

[–] Eco@hexbear.net 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

i thought of "full middle malcomist" and assumed i was being original but someone's already made the joke :(

[–] crosswind@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago

malcomist third middleist

[–] PopPrincess@hexbear.net 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Going on a date on thursday, I'm so nervousπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ First time I've been asked out by someone I met IRL, although he most likely doesn't know I'm trans, so I'm not excited for that conversationπŸ˜– Idk what to expect😫

[–] JohnBrownsBussy2@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago

Well, the trans support group I was hoping to start attending isn't having a virtual meeting tonight since the subject is first aid (which makes sense for in person demonstrations), but because I still have the sniffles (and it's an hour drive), so I will have to wait until next week. trans-sad

[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 17 points 2 days ago (3 children)

looking through my old discord DMs, I can pinpoint the moment my egg cracked drunkenly venting to a friend about my gender with a margin of error of about 15 minutes

I wrote a note in notepad about my gender dysphoria. Which I then read back to myself. That is where I set the point of my egg cracking.

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My egg cracked when an online friend asked if I was trans because I was using an anime girl as a mascot online and I said "no" and then a few days later I did the makeover mage in runescape and said "maybe"

[–] amy_jmayday@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago

This is basically what happened to me, haha. I was on an ancient ass forum and someone called me She because I had a catgirl pfp and I was just like, "ooooh shit, I'm She."

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Mine cracked after watching Strawberry Panic!. My poor brain just got completely overloaded with gay shit to the point where it just shut down and rebooted with my new genderOS.

Edit: Although it still took like 3 more months to fully hatch because I wasn’t completely sure whether I was an enby or just an androgynous woman. trans-hatch

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 19 points 2 days ago (5 children)

I wish there was HRT that made you less wide doggirl-tears

Tbh, I wish HRT worked the way it does in something like Trials in Tainted Space.
Where it’s like a delicious candy and it rapidly alters your bones and muscles and can turn you completely cis if you overdose. doggirl-sweat

[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 15 points 2 days ago

Trials in Tainted Space.

Woman of culture~

[–] amy_jmayday@hexbear.net 12 points 2 days ago

But alas, they can't even invent a width slider for most video games... catgirl-cry

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[–] Tommasi@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago

Been feeling down a few days because of some kinda bad decisions I've made, but heard a song I really love today and it grounded me back to earth a bit. I'm not the same person I was pre-transitioning, I can handle a setback or two without shutting down completely

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Statscan has been calling me lately, the first two times I thought it was a scam. I finally picked up. They were asking about my ex lol, it's almost been 2 years and every once in a while our very enmeshed lives still comes back

[–] Tomboymoder@hexbear.net 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Moss@hexbear.net 13 points 2 days ago
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