y'all ya girl made it and it's like a dream, i'm dating the cute girl from my old gym 😍

rant time :3

can people stop saying "protect trans youth" just to turn around and do everything in their power to exclude trans youth? trans youth have been having it worse and worse because there exists literally no community for trans youth, online or offline. treating youth like less than human and isolating them just leads to trauma, anxiety, depression, and normalizes oppression. its the part of the reason why things are so bad today. stop playing into a conservative narrative you KNOW is bullshit. when y'all get old and become unsuit for activism, there's a chance that there won't be anyone to replace you, because no one supported the next generation of queer people. how do you ever hope to band together if you actively exclude the new generation? if the very groups that they belong in don't actually want them until they're "old enough"? we need to remember that if we don't support the next generation, we're the ones to be erased from history, because the next gen are the people to hold the torch.

It is such a weird feeling to have had someone you were like two halves of a whole with and then go back to being single. Particularly in that very delicate, growing up time between like 18 to 30. So much of me was part of someone else, and visa versa. I wonder if 7 of 9 felt like this when she was cut off from the hive mind lol

apparently itchio just shadow banned all "adult" content

this is truly the worst timeline

diff shade of pink, I like it but nothing from my outfit matches

I regret to report the lesbian yearning continues to intensify

up with trans

Libraries are safe spaces where I can sit as queerly as I want not like chuds come in to read or anything

I'm alive but it certainly feels like death

I'd say yes, but probably not in the way they're thinking

got new booootsss

lookin pretty good in them if we do say so ourselves

It was 6 months on HRT this weekend. I figured I'd be happier but my job situation is kinda wack currently and dating apps have not been going good... wahoo

Been on hormones a few weeks now and I just feel so much better emotionally! My skin is already softer and it makes me happy

i keep telling myself that they're not into me. that they don't see me as anything other than a friend. that this isn't a date and that i shouldn't get my hopes up. idk how much of this is just defense mechanism but... ugh. it's never worked out romantically for me and i've fucking tried more times than I can count

getting my hopes up feels nice but then i immediately get scared and press it back down again. saying this will fail and we'll only just be friends keeps me safe and dead inside. saying that this will go well and get you a partner just feels like

girls

i think i’m transitioning into a child instead of a woman, one tsa guy asked if I was 18, and another asked if I was 13 🫠

i'm bigender which means i'm non binary

i'm bigender which means i'm more binary than you, nerd

I love talking to the kind trans people on my phone. It's nice.

Feeling gross and weird today

But I'm going to ballgame tonight so that'll hopefully be good

Sometimes it feels a lot of the comments my mom makes about my appearance have more what she thinks than not, she tends to frame it as "what will others say" like I don't deny I do get it. Every job interview I go to I get rid of my polish any fun eyeliner I was feeling and mute myself to no real avail anyway since no one's hiring. I love her dearly still just find it tiring. Hell she even justifies it to her coworkers my appearance, I'm swole and got long curly dark hair and she got asked why I'm looking like Samson. Her go to respose is that I'm gonna donate to kids with cancer, they shut up afterwards.

I'm meeting with some other trans women for make-up practice this weekend. Quitting Germany really was the best decision. Kinda interesting how I mostly hang out with the other diy girlies. The ones with the diagnoses and endos and stuff just are not as interested.(and also tend to be libs, with some unpleasant opinions)

pray for me 😔

how it feels to airdrop logic pro from a macbook in an apple store to your phone and get it to run on your computer with xattr and chmod

Having a bit of a health issue just posting so that if I die I'll be known for posting on the commie bear site as my final act

::: spoiler i dislike all the talk of community in my irl circles. Shit doesnt exist.

I would like to never be perceived again... I just... I do not want to ever do a social thing ever again. Im so tired of feeling completely alone and isolated even when surrounded by so-called community. There is no queer community, no trans community. Theres just a bunch of somewhat-overlapping social groups. And ya girl is not good at integrating/being part of them. Like, the message is clear: people do not want to talk to me. I dont understand why, and i try to be social, but god, i had two utter failures of social situations in as many days, and the common denomenator is me. Im not supposed to have friends or be included in social groups...

Just smoked a pack of fentstradiol

5h of sleep is not okay. My eepy princess ass can't deal with this. And today I gotta go to the office

realized I can listen to myself talk for voice training in real-time by hooking up my microphone directly to the output in qjackctl. I actually sound ok to myself a lot of time! but I am straining my voice a bit so i need to relax more. I also need to practice projecting my voice and raising volume without dropping the femme aspects... while also not immediately dropping my register when I start talking to real people for lack of confidence.

Trans athlete ban just hit USA Fencing. Leadership didn't want it, membership didn't want it, but the executive order threatened their NGB status.

Shit sucks. The chairman gave a good shot at defending us at the doge show trial, but idk what could be done here. If they didn't comply, we might end up with a governing body that actually hates trans people, rather than one that tried but failed to include us.

Yearned too hard, cried

Most of the time when people call me a woman it feels comfortable, but there's one particular guy that it just kind of... Doesn't feel right when he does it. I don't know if he's just trying too hard to be supportive or what it is but when he calls me a woman it makes me feel uncomfortable. I genuinely cannot tell you why.