this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
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[–] ClimateStalin@hexbear.net 32 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

That’s not a real burglary lmao

[–] mrfugu@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago

Lmao she wanted her dead fathers things from her mother who (likely) refused to hand them over?? Girl it’s your mother you can’t find a way to be alone in her house without a b&e dressed like a cartoon goon?

Now that I’m thinking about it she probably dressed like that because of the cameras. But like I could break any electronic thing belonging to my parents or grandparents and when then find it all i’d have to do is shrug and say “yeah I heard they can break like that sometimes.” Old people never take responsibility for tech issues anyway.

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

How is this even considered a burglary? This should just be small claims or family court shit.

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Officers responding to the scene just before 5am on Monday discovered Mitchell in the basement "dressed in all black clothing and a black hat" with a flashlight that had a "black sock covering" it nearby, the charging document states.

God forbid a woman have a hobby

[–] LeninsBeard@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They failed to mention the large sack with a dollar sign on it that she was carrying.

[–] 30_to_50_Feral_PAWGs@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

One eyewitness stated that Mitchell kept repeatedly muttering, "robble robble" as she was apprehended and led away by law enforcement officers.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

American politicians planning a heist:

Imagine a Hamburglar

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

Is stealing burgers a serious crime in Burger Reich or is it a sacrament?

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago

"oh boy, here I go stealin' again"

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

burglary is kinda cool, imo. any dumbass can rob people. it takes skills and planning to burgle.

the anti-burglary laws discriminate against those of us with creep.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 11 points 2 weeks ago

this is why if you need a burglar it's a good idea to let your wizard choose

[–] CptKrkIsClmbngThMntn@hexbear.net 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm a bit conflicted on this. If I elect someone to state or federal office I do expect them to be a bit of a go-getter.

[–] Le_Wokisme@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago

any politician besides nixon can have little a crooking as a treat

[–] miz@hexbear.net 25 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I knew it was a democrat because a republican would just stonewall until being convicted and removed from office

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 26 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

A d pressured by another Democrat yo step down while the party carries a 1 vote majority. Stupid.

This is going to be a hell of a special election

[–] Adkml@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago

Dems ultimate end goal is to smugly say "you have no idea how bad you look right now" as theyre forced to dig their own grave.

[–] LeeeroooyJeeenkiiins@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago

A d pressured by another Democrat yo step down while the party carries a 1 vote majority. Stupid.

I give you, The Democrats!

[–] Rom@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Do Republicans actually get removed from office for this sort of thing? I would figure they would just invoke the "who is going to do a single thing about it?" clause

[–] HamManBad@hexbear.net 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

If she had just been dressed in normal clothes this would just be a messy domestic issue. The fact that she felt compelled to dress like a goofy ass cartoon burglar is what sunk her

[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

what if she was wearing all black because she's goth

[–] D61@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

Its not a real burglary unless you're dressed like the Cookie Crook.