this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2024
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chapotraphouse

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What stalin-stressed

spoiler

Also these product names are brilliant- "Billy Bonkers"

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[–] regul@hexbear.net 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)

That's not how Schwalbe markets them on their own site. If I had to guess, Amazon probably has a field for all bike-related merchandise where you have to indicate the "gender" of bikes they're usable on, even if it doesn't make sense.

[–] O__O@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

This is exactly right. Amazon has hundreds of mandatory fields that sellers must complete to sell their products on the site and if any are missing then Amazon will remove the products from sale. Of course the mandatory fields change on an almost daily basis and often make no sense. Sellers must jump through the hoops or get the boot.

[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago

I was utterly confused since I'd never seen fucking tires be gendered before, makes sense if it's some Amazon nonsense

[–] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)

unisex

Do not fuck the unicycle volcel-kamala

[–] D61@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I mean, it says “unisex”. So you get to do it once …

[–] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 5 points 3 months ago

Especially if you don't watch your bits around the spokes.

[–] SwitchyWitchyandBitchy@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Amazon just slaps unisex onto completely agender items sometimes. It's really annoying.

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 3 points 2 months ago

Unisex DDR5 memory implies an untapped market for CHUDs whose brains have been infected by the Andrew Tate-o-sphere think-about-it

[–] AntiOutsideAktion@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] doublepepperoni@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago

It could totally also be short for Wilhelmina morshupls

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago

Baby Billy's Bicycle Bonkers

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 12 points 3 months ago
[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 7 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Schwalbe tires have all these different personas in how they are named. One of the best is the 'Thunder Burt'. 'Rocket Ron' is also funny. 'Johnny Watts' is meant for e-bikes. 'Racing Ralph' is funnier than intended.

Looking thru them, 'Tacky Chan' seems new.

Not sure what 'Hans Dampf' is about.

[–] Sephitard9001@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago

Pre-crisis Tacky Chan with 4,000 years of Chinese cycling no diffs the self taught Billy Bonkers

[–] Pentacat@hexbear.net 4 points 2 months ago

The US is becoming so woke their bicycle tires have pronouns.

[–] tombruzzo@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago

If there are girls' bikes then there needs to be girl bike tyres

[–] GarfieldOfficial@hexbear.net 2 points 2 months ago

What else did you think they meant by “Knobby” tires