this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2024
845 points (98.8% liked)

The Onion

4695 readers
384 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Blackout@fedia.io 126 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 58 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Its okay for cats because they're cute and adorable, which elon isn't.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Schmoo@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Isn't that the litterbox infamous for murdering cats?

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

According to this article, no - the door on the bad design closes horizontally. The article actually uses a pic of this very box (or extremely similar) as an example of a "reputable" design. But then again, it also advised people to stop using the bad design, and to talk to their vet (why?!?) about the "next steps to take." 🤷‍♀️

[–] Jivebunny@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's also because cats have no object permanence, just like Elon

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Now I’m imagining a cat without object permanence trying to hunt a mouse.

[–] John_Blund@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Cats do have object permanence though? So cats are in fact; smarter and cuter.

[–] Jivebunny@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah that's right. Was just ranting. Haha. We're in the onion community

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 5 points 1 month ago

This is literally my cat when I'm in the bathroom.

[–] Xanis@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

The Groom of the Stool (formally styled: "Groom of the King's Close Stool") was the most intimate of an English monarch's courtiers, initially responsible for assisting the king in excretion and hygiene.

The physical intimacy of the role naturally led to his becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal master and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course.

The office developed gradually over decades and centuries into one of administration of the royal finances, and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy, under the "chamber system".[1][2]

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago

National Fecal policy

[–] avattar@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is Trump we are talking about, so musk's title is probably more like "Presidential diaper changer".

[–] SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world 3 points 1 month ago

This is more info than we EVER needed or wanted to know about Elon's kinks.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This just in: Manufacturing efforts at the Tesla factory have been diverted to focus on building a bathroom door lock-picking robot.

[–] Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

"Musk SLAMS local locksmith, calls him a pedophile for opening the lock first"

[–] islands@lemmy.cafe 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I approve of all this content painting Musk as an invasive little brat who has no boundaries and is desperate to try to buy his way into the cool kids inner circle. Notice me, senpai!

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Isn't that what they used to say about Trump?

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 36 points 1 month ago

This just leaves Musk to scratch at the base of the door and wave his fingers around in the gap beneath the door until Donald finally relents, allowing Musk to enter and curl up in the crotch of Donald's pants while he's taking a shit.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

feels bad about it after a minute and lets him

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

He's not going to wipe himself.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

Oh he doesn't like being follows into places that are meant to be more private when you're exposed? Wonder what the various women Trump has admitted walking in on thought about his similar behavior?

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 10 points 1 month ago

This needs to be an article series.

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

well somebody's gotta give him the blumpkin, right?

[–] Doom@ttrpg.network 7 points 1 month ago

And Eric will be damned if anyone else is taking that spot. That's daddy and Eric time

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Orangetard has enough shit in his pants he doesn't need anymore

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

Nice. The spelling mistake makes it look like Trump soils pants just before donating them.

[–] sunbytes@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

I cannot wait for what these guys are going to do with infowars.

[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Who's gonna wipe his butt then?

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago

Based on trends witht he rest of his staff

  • Trump had someone
  • he probably handled classified shit (heh)
  • either Trump tried to have him killed or he went to jail.

So he'll need another. Who's the judge who's been cleaning up his smelly messes and isn't imprisoned?

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

I think you made a mistake, this is for satirical pieces.

[–] Takios@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 1 month ago

The First Lady is very needy in this upcoming administration.

[–] Matthew_Gasoline@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Brings a new meaning to "Closed door meetings".

[–] cranakis@reddthat.com 5 points 1 month ago

Nah, Trump poops and texts whenever Elon goes into a K-hole. It's a solid routine. 😆