this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025
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Funny: Home of the Haha

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[–] Goldmage263@sh.itjust.works 2 points 35 minutes ago

Checks out. I always try to fly Delta when possible. Had the least amount of delays from them.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Stretch goal: Arrive before takeoff.

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago

Concorde has entered the chat.

[–] JayObey711@lemmy.world 8 points 2 hours ago

Boeing is doing the low% speedrun where you try to get to your destination with the least aircraft parts.

[–] JayObey711@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

A TOS shows that if you do an out of bounds glitch you can trigger the loading zone under ground because they stretch to the bottom of the sky box.

[–] Subverb@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

In before someone posts the Aspen 20 Speedcheck copypasta

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 26 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Hmm, after reading my contract carefully, there's nothing in there that explicitly says I actually have to wait for the passengers and baggage to be loaded before taking off...

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 4 hours ago

[halfway through the flight] "Dang, I can't make this time. Going to reset"

[–] owl@infosec.pub 9 points 6 hours ago

Just type in the 7500 cheatcode and you can take shortcuts through military airspace.

[–] Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 hours ago

Freebird intensifys

[–] yax@feddit.org 5 points 6 hours ago

Is doing anything fast or being happy about anything going smoothly really considered a speedrun now?

Don't get me wrong. If Summoning salt posts a two hour long video about the history and optimization of Delta Airlines flight 545 between LGA and ATL, I'm watching that shit.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 24 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (2 children)

Block time (airlines calculate it differently) was traditionally viewed from “block to block”, the time the wheel chocks were removed for the aircraft to move under its own power for departure to the time the wheel chocks were put back under the wheels at destination. Now it just means what the airline thinks the flight time will be for scheduling purposes.

As a passenger, this is what you see when your app tells you the flight time. It includes taxi out and taxi in.

Delay-prone flights are often over blocked, so a perfectly delay-free flight (push, taxi, takeoff, fly, land, taxi in, park) that takes say an hour and a half total might me blocked for 1:50 because historically one of the airports might be busy at that time an they know there will be a long taxi, gate holds, whatever.

So sometimes fate smiles on everyone and you get to leave early, miss whatever built in delays there might be planned, ATC gives you a couple shortcuts, a favorable wind, and bam, you’re in 30 minutes early.

So not really a speed run, just lots of luck.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 hours ago

The RNG gods giveth and the RNG gods take away.

[–] yetiftw@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

oh like a flipped bit isn't also lots of luck

[–] Futurama@lemmy.world 21 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

No no no, that's only 52 minutes early. He left 2 minutes before the scheduled start time. Quit trying to boost your stats, man!

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

Me farming gold 10 seconds before the match ends to look good on the stats screen:

[–] nondescripthandle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 34 points 11 hours ago

Ladies and gentelmen this is your pilot speaking, I've gone ahead and put the seat belt lights back on because Marlons a fucking showoff and thinks he so great. Buckle up and hold tight.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 149 points 15 hours ago (6 children)

JFK to LAX, any % of passengers.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 6 points 6 hours ago

Used to lead big hikes. We had an "80% return rate is good". Partial bodies counted.

Yes, this was a joke for attendees.

[–] nandeEbisu@lemmy.world 24 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

If it was any% of plane, there are some creative launching strategies we could explore.

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 10 hours ago

Boeing has entered the chat

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[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 6 hours ago

I mean I'm not surprised. You'd be amazed at the stupid shit people think is cool.

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 89 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Southwest Airlines pays their pilots a bonus for every minute they block in early.

Guess who has a reputation for bugging ATC for shortcuts and taxiing really fast.

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Aha, I knew it! Flight attendants get paid per 'flight' hour and the pilots get bonuses to reduce the amount of time the attendants are paid for. That's fucked up

[–] mkwt@lemmy.world 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Pay is usually per flight hour, but also paid on a block-or-better basis. The minimum pay for completing a leg is the scheduled time, but if there are delays, then actual time from parking brake to parking brake is paid

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

parking brake

This a fwd model? Get me some McDonald's trays, I'm gonna show atc a cool trick

[–] whostosay@lemmy.world 19 points 13 hours ago
[–] nebulaone@lemmy.world 58 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Ooooh, so that's why I saw a plane doing janky backwards jumps before being flung off into the sky.

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

click uh, ladies and gentlemen this is your Captain speaking. Wha. Hoo hoo. Yahoooo! Yahoo! Yah! Yayayayaya! click

(Edit: wrong sound)

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Whoops, I had the wrong sound Mario. Fixed.

[–] mlg@lemmy.world 15 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Hey guys desinc here, today I'm gonna show you some tricks and glitches in real life

[–] BreadOven@lemmy.world 29 points 13 hours ago (4 children)

Do they allow clipping? Or is that a different category?

[–] lud@lemm.ee 22 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (2 children)

Not since that failed attempt.

[–] FrostyCaveman@lemm.ee 5 points 7 hours ago

Ah I’ve always wanted to fly to Backrooms Airport

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[–] Gork@lemm.ee 50 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (3 children)

Sometimes I like to speedrun deliveries in American Truck Simulator. Turn off fatigue (roleplay my driver as addicted to energy drinks and cocaine and pees in bottles) and drive at 105 mph (168.981 km/hr) halfway across the country.

Get there 3 days early, because faster deliveries means more Value^®^ to the shareholders.

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Weird, I don't remember making this comment

(I use the new Volvo VNL sleeper with the stock engine, so 85 is about all it can do, but you ever got up on 2 wheels - technically 5 but - at a near-perfect 45 degree tilt, while doing 80, because you are determined to prove that "30 mph advisory speed" sign wrong? 85 the whole way, ducking and weaving and using the shoulders and the median...)

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 27 points 11 hours ago

I definitely enjoyed when trucks showed up 3 days earlier than they were supposed to when i ran a shipping dock. It definitely didn't fuck up our whole system, no way.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 13 points 12 hours ago

Get there 3 days early, because faster deliveries means more Value® to the shareholders.

If you aren't providing Value® the shareholders. You have to ask yourself, "Am I good employee?"

[–] Tarogar@feddit.org 44 points 15 hours ago (7 children)

Collision detection isn't perfect. If you save and load just at the right time while moving forwards you can sometimes clip through walls. So walls are basically just a suggestion. The only problem is that if you mess it up, you die and loose time due to the unskippable death animation...

But no one messes that trick up right?

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