JD Vance just existed
The pope died of cringe from experiencing Vance's presence.
this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
426 points (95.5% liked)
Ask Lemmy
31116 readers
2129 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Truth is, he wasn't trying to. Vance wanted to show off his zombie Jesus costume, but it turned out to be a killer costume!
(I just wanted to throw something in that isn't the same jokes everyone else is making)
Because Biden is catholic
Being anywhere in Trump's orbit speeds up your trajectory towards death like Matt Damon in Saving Private Ryan. Donald Trump is, essentially, a biological version of "The Machine" from The Princess Bride pushed to 50.
Since the pope was only secondarily contaminated, the process was slower, but he was already so close to death as it is.
Clearly he visited India today to discuss a Hindu Nationalist takeover of America
JD didn't do it on purpose. The most reasonable answer is the Pope accidentally walked on JD in a tender moment with a loveseat. The Pontiff laughed himself to death.
JD Vance had FOXDIE
I don't think it was on purpose the Pope was just too frail to be in the same room as that much cringe. Frankly it was irresponsible of them to allow Vance anywhere near him.
I usually don't subscribe to victim blaming, but this one is ok.
He thought it was the seat of Catholic power and was driven to a frenzy.
Vance took off his human mask and showed the pope what a demon looks like.
he threatened to release the video of him and cardinal wuerl spit roasting a luxury couch.
As a vampire, he has to drink the blood of a pontif to remain a daywalker.
He should now sparkle in the sun for another...6-8 weeks before needing to feed again.
Sparkling vice president was not on my political bingo card for this administration.
JD Vance had FOXDIE
It's all that white on white, he kinda looked like a couch. He wasn't trying to kill him, but the old man was frail and looked too much like a cushion.
So a conclave power struggle is set off behind the scenes to try to install Cardinal Burke so that they have one less institution to get in the way
Same as Liz Truss killing the queen. Sometimes, when you're old and in poor health, you just experience something that makes you think "fuck it, I don't need to put up with this shit anymore."
Lol .... this is it
When you're at the end of your life and hanging on the edge looking for a glimmer of hope .... then you get visited by an absolute tool that is only motivated by greed and power and represents a general apathy for any kind of humanity ...
you just think to yourself, "yeah, nah, this isn't worth it any more"
Just want to point out this is what furniture in the Vatican looked like before Pope Francis
And then after Pope Francis
If anyone really cares, that's because Pope Francis was from the Jesuit Order. The first pope to be one. They swear poverty among other things, so the golden chair wouldn't look appropriate.
Finally gets to visit the pope; does't get to fuck the fancy chairs. 😔
I wonder what the next Pope's chair will look like
Yeah, as far as popes go he was pretty chill
Still needed a way to finance a billion dollar corporation with tens of thousands of prime real estate all over the world managed by a legion of professional clergy all managed by a central office that is it's own country at the center of one of the most expensive cities in the world ..... all while spreading the message of piety, peace and being humble.
As much as everyone likes to glorify catholic leaders, they're still a mafia force that is based on money and wealth and Christian faith last
For sure, but as long as the mafia exists (which looks like it's going to be for a good long while still) I want it to have the leader who will do the most good possible, even if it's still a net negative. There are those out there who would use the resources to do a lot of harm.
load more comments
(5 replies)
I hope they sold the old chair and used the money for the poor, but they probably just tucked it in the attic
The pope wouldn't let him ogle the holy see.
The Pope showed him his latest meme
The pope told him he was an aristocrat, not a real mountain man from West Virginia and this truth caused JD to mistake the pope for a couch.
Pope didn't say Thank you.
Pope didn't wear a suit.
White Pope robes? Don't you know how to wear respectful clothing?
maybe it lacks some stuff....like a pointy hood thingy
The pope has more power then him
The pope asked the Trump administration to be kind to immigrants and the poor. Can't have talk like that from the church.
Doesn't the Pope know that empathy is a sin?
The devil is tempting me to be kind and have compassion for others.
Don't tempt me, bro.
load more comments
(2 replies)
The Pope refused to join his Signal group.
He joined the wrong signal group. Vance only realized when the pope asked "what's up with all the couch pics?"
Death by cringe
view more: next ›