this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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chapotraphouse

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[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 90 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I straight-up do not believe this, he's that much of an attention seeking freak

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 48 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I hope he gets harassed about it constantly. "When are you gonna drop dead dude? You said you were gonna get dead months ago. You wouldn't have lied about it, would you?"

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago

nah fuck him, I hope people ignore this shit

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

He's going to say he was cured by God or some right-wing magic cult he believes in

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

He's gonna say he erotically hypnotized it into submission.

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 51 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Can we invent a cancer that only hurts terrible people

[–] catonkatonk@hexbear.net 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Are we sure it isn't the based Havana Syndrome Ass Cancer Ray at work already

[–] HarryLime@hexbear.net 45 points 2 weeks ago
[–] JohnBrownsDream@hexbear.net 44 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

https://xcancel.com/CitizenFreePres/status/1924477866915315722

People recommending Ivermectin as a cancer treatment in earnest in the comments. Beyond parody.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

~~Put a pinch between your cheek and gum.~~

Put a pinch between your cheek and prostate.

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

Ivermectin cures all!

[–] Xenomorph@hexbear.net 38 points 2 weeks ago

Damn, a two for one cancer deal on ghouls?!

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 23 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

do-something

Cmon prostate cancer, do a trifecta with Trump too

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 25 points 2 weeks ago

Knowing our luck it will be more like "Trump was bitten by a Chihuahua on Sunday afternoon, taking the attack personally he declared all Mexican citizens to be enemy combatants to be deported immediately.

On medical examination of the wound the Chihuahua bite appears to have extended Trump's lifespan by at least another 12 decades. Scientists would be confused by this, but the Trump administration already executed all of them."

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

All the experimental medicine they pump us presidents to keep them alive will keep him going like the emperor in Warhammer. Covid couldn't take down such am unhealthy person, I doubt cancer will.

[–] Sphere@hexbear.net 22 points 2 weeks ago

Lol.

Lmao, even

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 19 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Of course - this could be bullshit. The Daily Mail was the only site with an article.

I edited it a tiny bit for clarlity.

Dilbert creator Scott Adams has revealed that he is suffering from the same aggressive form of prostate cancer as Joe Biden. Adams announced the shock diagnosis in a Rumble stream on Monday that, like Biden, he has prostate cancer "that has also spread to my bones." The comic strip icon heartbreakingly revealed that doctors have told him he does not have long to live, and he "expects to be checking out sometime this summer."

Adams had kept his cancer battle quiet, and although he did not say when he was diagnosed with the disease, he said he has "had it longer than (Biden) has had it. Well, longer than he's admitted to having it."

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I have cancer too, worse cancer and for longer!

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 24 points 2 weeks ago

It could be some kind of scam. A month or so from now he could say "I cured myself of my fatal cancer with DilbertMeds™. And here's how you can buy them..."

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I do like "checking out" as a euphemism for dying, gonna start using that one

[–] PTSDwarrior@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 weeks ago

I like to say people who are dying are “on their way out”.

[–] thelastaxolotl@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago

crab-party crab-party crab-party

Lets goo comrade JDPONCancer strikes again

[–] WorriedComrade@hexbear.net 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s like death note but someone is giving people prostate cancer

[–] userofnames@hexbear.net 16 points 2 weeks ago

maybe he can hypnotise the cancer away

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 15 points 2 weeks ago

Y'know, sometimes I really resent the planet being turned into a toxic hellscape with all aspects becoming inimical to life as we know it. Recently though...shrug-outta-hecks

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

2 cakes? Alright, not what I was expecting but I'll take it

[–] semioticbreakdown@hexbear.net 13 points 2 weeks ago

ate too many dilberitos

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 12 points 2 weeks ago

lmao die binch

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 10 points 2 weeks ago

Lmao. Either way, lmao. If he's dying, lmao. If he's lying, lmao.

[–] RION@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

It's like poetry, it rhymes

[–] homhom9000@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

Then hurry up and die then

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

I made a mistake - I should have posted this in c/gossip.

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Yo hago puchero, ella hace puchero"

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

‼️‼️HOLY FUCKING SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING ESPERANDO LA CARROZA REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1!

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

chinese ass cancer gun W

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 6 points 2 weeks ago
[–] ClassIsOver@hexbear.net 3 points 2 weeks ago

Hopefully it's in his Dilbert-shaped pool. It's not like the next owners aren't going to fill it in anyway.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 3 points 2 weeks ago