this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 268 points 9 months ago (15 children)

no nagging for a week

Wow, there’s just so much to unpack from just that sentence, let alone the chart.

[–] taanegl@lemmy.world 69 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Look at his eyes, and look at his face... this is the trained male.

Long have nation states and governments tried to break the male, to wrangle the male into a submissive state, but none are more successful than the woman sociopath.

The female sociopath is in many ways addicted to control. Her one impulse to anything the male does is how she can turn it into her advantage, to control the male entirely.

Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs, so it's up to him wether or not the pain and degradation is worth it. 4/10 males say it is.

Look at his eyes. He's truly worked for this.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 71 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs

Honestly that's a 50/50 shot between fierce and dead fish. I have proclivity for crazy, and a good half the time it's all for show and a real disappointment at game time. That all said, always test drive the car before signing the paperwork.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 19 points 9 months ago

Listen to this guy, he knows what he's talking about

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[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 18 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Wtaf did I just read, and why god does it have so many up votes. Please let this be a copy pasta.

[–] 0x4E4F@sh.itjust.works 17 points 9 months ago (3 children)

It's a sarcastic view on what the meme depicts. We are in shitposts after all.

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[–] BeefPiano@lemmy.world 171 points 9 months ago (17 children)

“Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.

Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!

Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 84 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] dditty@lemm.ee 16 points 9 months ago

I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can't remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 38 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don't slander cheese like that.

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[–] chetradley@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (3 children)

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad.

This is the one that gets me the most. Like, I do the majority of a lot of these things in addition to taking my kid to daycare, doing almost all of the cooking, etc. I do it because I want to help my family, not because I'm saving up for a toothy blowjob.

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[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 months ago (3 children)

🎵 the lap dance is better when the stripper has stiiickers 🎵

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 74 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Love and affection are commodities to be turned into a transaction.

[–] DrSleepless@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago

This guy capitalisms

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[–] Fades@lemmy.world 73 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!

I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell

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[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 68 points 9 months ago (9 children)

I'm glad everyone finds it weird and gross, but I'm also amused at how many people don't know this is a five year old joke from a mommy blogger at this point.

Never actually real, just meant to make people who were currently dealing with sticker boards and feeling weird about it chuckle.

[–] The_Lopen@sh.itjust.works 24 points 9 months ago

I'm appalled that you actually expect me to do research on memes and not accept them at face value. Leave my propaganda addled mind in peace dammit.

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[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 61 points 9 months ago (7 children)

Sure, she may have infantalized him to an embarrassing degree, but at least she posted it online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage is and how transactional their sex live is.

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[–] Mango@lemmy.world 57 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Transactional.

Keeping score isn't love.

[–] platypus_plumba@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (5 children)

I'd totally get her to suck my dick 10 times per day and never nag again. This seems like a good deal.

I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

"Honey, the kids are taking 5 lunches to school today, I'm adding the stickers myself, thanks".

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[–] bruhduh@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

His face tells it

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[–] mhague@lemmy.world 55 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Back in my day we assumed everything on the internet was false, and we liked it.

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[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 50 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I'd love to see him retaliate with a chart for her

[x] Stop being a cunt -> Stay Married

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[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 46 points 9 months ago (17 children)

No nagging for a week

This woman must be horribly annoying

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[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 45 points 9 months ago

He realized after putting the seat down three times the nagging wasn't going to stop anyway.

[–] Bassman27@lemmy.world 45 points 9 months ago (5 children)

This guy is 100% poisoning his kids so they can throw up

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[–] db2@lemmy.world 43 points 9 months ago (3 children)

The creepiest thing about that is how she wants her husband to be her child and still put his penis in her mouth. Fucked. Up.

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[–] Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

It's fake, Its a crooked depiction of a toxic relationship which is fucked up, I know, but why would a guy need to be reminded to clean up, or care for their children?

I see everyone is quick to jump on the domestic abuse hate train, but if you are a guy and not doing these things in a relationship you are just as fucked up as this imaginary psycho partner.

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[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 38 points 9 months ago (10 children)

Why you all kink shaming? Dudes a sub if I've ever seen one.

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Dang I don't see it as kink shame just sad shit. Sex shouldn't be a transactional coin.

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[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 36 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Step 1: drink water

Step 2: piss

Step 3: put seat down

Step 4: repeat 5 more times

Step 5: wait till I'm nagged

Step 6: remind her of the toilet seat

Step 7: continue ignoring child's needs

Step 8: ignore feelings of depression and ruminate about how fucked my life is

[–] harry_balzac@lemmy.world 31 points 9 months ago

Sorry dude but you are most definitely not Kenough.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 25 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Holy fucking shit his face...

This woman is the epitome of the scorecard partner.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago

He looks like a man who forgot that divorce is an option.

[–] Napain@lemmy.ml 23 points 9 months ago (5 children)
[–] TseseJuer@lemmy.world 41 points 9 months ago (1 children)

do gays not give bjs after a certain amount of gold stars?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

How exactly do the gays transact for sex with their spouses? Like, do they pick one who will withold sex from the other until chores are done? Or do they swap roles monthly? How do they decide which one will be the begger and which one will grudgingly submit to their clumsy, sweaty defilement?

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[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

He's gonna give her the blow job

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 16 points 9 months ago

Yeah this looks like a horrible couple photo about 3 months before the inevitable divorce.

[–] Stanwich@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

She's gonna be pissed when the curtie next door is going down on him. He's just gonna point to the chart. Doesn't say who from?

[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

That man's soul is screaming for help behind those eyes.

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[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 14 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Why'd they Photoshop her eye upside-down into his left eye?

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