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MAGA 'Prophets': God Thinks Trump's Conviction Was Rigged (www.rollingstone.com)

submitted 1 month ago by jeffw@lemmy.world to c/politics@lemmy.world

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[-] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago

But these self-styled prophets instead see Trump’s conviction as evidence he is a victim — a “political martyr” — or even a biblical figure, a modern “Daniel” or “David.”

I will never understand how Christians, following the teachings of Christ, look at Donald Trump, the man that sees the Seven Deadly Sins as a to-do list, as their second coming.

[-] GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

Surely, you mean "already done" list?

[-] grue@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

“For false Christs and false prophets will arise and appear to perform ‘great’ signs and wonders so as to lead astray, if possible, God’s own people. He will use every kind of evil deception to fool those on their way to destruction…” Matt. 24:24, 2nd Thess 2:10

[-] ChihuahuaOfDoom@lemmy.world 56 points 1 month ago

Wouldn't an omnipotent God have the power to stop things from happening that they didn't want to happen?

[-] DontRedditMyLemmy@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago

Something something mysterious ways! Checkmate!

[-] billiam0202@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

Yep. Which obviously means either God isn't omnipotent, or God doesn't want to help Trump, or God is just a construct made by simpletons to explain complex concepts of the universe.

[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago

Every time one of the Trump prophets has been called out for a false prophecy, they blame 4th grade level word games, or just get really angry, or both.

And they are only getting more popular.

[-] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 month ago

Many of these people believe that satan and/or demons literally, literally, have inhabited the bodies of ... basically all their political opponents, anyone who does anything bad to Trump.

There is an entire movement of preachers on places like rumble who went completely bonkers after prophesying that Trump would win.

These people already believed in a whole lot of Q Anon nonsense, and now it has morphed into Trump as the next David, the US as the true holy land, and near daily hate tirades from God, spoken from these prophets, to millions of apparently sub room temp IQ followers.

They have weaved Trump into Christianity and basically formed an entire new theology based around him.

I would be entirely unsurprised if they declare an actual holy war at some point.

God I wish Trump had died from Covid.

[-] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 6 points 1 month ago

There was no way the physicians at Walter Reed would let a president die from covid. They had him pumped full of every conceivable steroid, anti-viral cocktail, and stimulant known to man.

[-] irreticent@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

They had him pumped full of every conceivable steroid, anti-viral cocktail, and stimulant known to man.

And that was before COVID.

[-] foggy@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago

God sitting up in the clouds. All powerful. All knowing. Nervously waiting for the trump trial results.

"Guilty on all 34 counts"

God: "Oh COME ON! Nonsense!! Had to be rigged! Who calls the shots around here?!"

Some Christians: "this makes sense."

[-] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

It's honestly quite distressing to see people act like human progress since the enlightenment never happened.

[-] vga@sopuli.xyz 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I love the idea of an all-capable, all-seeing deity thinking that a sentence was wrong and then doing absolutely nothing about it. That's the sort of laziness that only good old Jehova can pull off.

[-] Stern@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Surely if God was concerned, then God would intervene wouldn't they?

[-] mPony@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

God ignores in mysterious ways?

[-] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

Ah, fundamentalist christians who barely have an understanding of what their own religion says speaking on behalf of what they assume their invisible magic sky daddy would say in defiance of all evidence in their "holy book'. Who could have seen this gross misinterpretation coming, other than literally everyone paying the slightest bit of attention?

[-] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Apparently god punishes. Unless you're a convict running for office, keeping the republican dream alive.

[-] InternetUser2012@midwest.social 17 points 1 month ago

Weird, god told me that they should all drink bleach.

[-] Jax@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

The great orange god already told them to inject it, they ignored him. Seems like a common affliction Magats suffer is being selectively deaf.

[-] jobby 15 points 1 month ago

It Trump tripped on his own shoelaces, they would say it was a political witch-hunt.

[-] AbidanYre@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Are you talking about the time he couldn't walk down a slight incline?

[-] jobby 2 points 1 month ago

No I’m stating a pure hypothetical.

[-] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

You mean the time he ran down the ramp?

[-] wildcardology@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

God, the always present, all-knowing, and all-powerful "thinks" the trial was rigged as if he's not sure.

[-] Corigan@lemm.ee 12 points 1 month ago

Fuck your god, he doesn't exist and doesn't make you above the law or give anyone person the right to be beyond reproach.

[-] skeezix@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

My god has a bigger dick than your god.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Basically. As a man of science I know that if a God really exists, it would have to be an entity so beyond our capability to comprehend or even describe, and most certainly not an old man on a cloud. It would be an entity that exists in all points in in the universe, flaring quasars to annihilate entire galaxies and birthing solar systems from cosmic dust, folding space into black holes and controlling all points in time itself.

So yeah, if God is real, then he has to be more like I describe, and that's NOT a God who cares about your sexual habits or how often you pray. But he can certainly beat up your God.

[-] skeezix@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

He’s a white man in a white robe with a white beard. He sits on a white throne on a white cloud. He is surrounded by white cherubs and white angels with white wings. He has a white son with blond hair and blue eyes who was born in the middle east 2000 years ago to a white woman in a blue and white veil.

He sits on his cloud and spends every moment monitoring and watching simultaneously each action and thought of 8 billion people. He also keeps tab on trillions of other living organisms from elephants down to individual bacteria.

He keeps a record of every thought and action you ever have or do, as well as each of the other 8 billion people, and the billions of people who came before.

He puts each of the 7000 people that die every hour on trial, where He produces this record to determine your next phase; if you merit reward you will be fitted with white wings and allowed the role of flying above the living, monitoring, and giving aid to those you loved in life.

He has a list of ten rules that you can’t break. If you break them then you’re in for a world of hurt. He has other rules too: for example He gets very angry if you eat meat on a Friday (he keeps track of leap years and time zones, so he knows when it’s your Friday). He doesn’t want you to sit where a menstruating woman has sat. He doesn’t want you to wear clothes made of both linen and wool. When Fighting a man, He expects you to chop off his wife's hand if she grabs your genitals.

Sometimes he just hates you for who you are. This is especially true if you don’t believe in him, or your sexual preferences are wrong, or if you support the wrong political party. Sometimes this irritates Him so much that He creates random cataclysmic events in order to punish both you and innocent people and children around you.

If something good happens to you, the reason is simple: he’s watching over you and taking care of you. If something bad happens to you, then His reasons are mysterious and unfathomable and you should be content that there is some reason far above your ability to understand. This is especially true in unexpected cases, such as when a kitten is hit by a car or a baby is stricken with a fatal disease.

Upon your demise, if He deems you merit punishment, then you’re sent to the care of a red man with red wings who lives under the ground. There you’ll be continually stabbed with a red fork for eternity. Even after being stabbed continuously for millions of years, it will remain a painful experience, and you will scream the whole time.

Amen.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I swear on everything that I can, that should I die and learn that the universe really does work this way, I will scream into the void and then will attempt to destroy my own immortal soul and renounce all of existence.

[-] kromem@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I just don't get following false prophets.

It's literally the easiest fucking litmus test in the world.

"How many things does this person say will come true that actually come true? How many don't?"

I just ran into this the other day with someone talking about Alex Jones talking about an attack on the world trade centers in 2000.

A number of others also presented similar ideas before it happened, but more importantly - if you need to go back 20 goddamn years for an example of foresight for someone who makes wild predictions for hours every single day, that person isn't a prophet.

The stupidity of a lot of people is disappointing to the point of being demoralizing.

[-] ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com 3 points 1 month ago

Same as with fortune tellers and horoscopes, say enough things in vague enough terms and some of it's bound to be able to fit into something that happens later. If someone wants something to be true then any wedged in 'correct' prediction is just validation of the expected result.

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I have a friend who had some mental health problems and turned to religion. He's basically lost to me, he can't have a normal conversation anymore about anything, it just comes back to the lines he keeps reciting.

He was talking about the "coming apocalypse" and despite me showing him all the countless failed-apocalypse prophecies of the past, and he said that when Jesus returns he would give everything he has and follow Christ no matter what.

I asked "Doesn't it also say there will be false prophets and anti-christs? How will you know you're following the 'right" jesus?"

He said "Oh I will know. He is in my heart so I can never be fooled."

"Then what about all the people it says will be fooled? How do you know you'll be different? If countless people are fooled by a false Jesus, don't you think it will be very convincing? How do you know you'll know? Wouldn't it be safer to be careful, otherwise why would the bible need to warn you?"

Just dead silence and staring straight ahead for an uncomfortable amount of time. He never answered.

[-] kromem@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

He said "Oh I will know. He is in my heart so I can never be fooled."

Ugh, I hate this one. Especially with the people that believe in demonic forces.

Like, ok - so everyone that disagrees with you has been misled by demons or the devil, but you're right because you feel it, but that feeling can't be the same forces you attribute to other people's differing feelings, because you have the magic protection provided by your feelings being right. And they don't have the magic protection but they think they do because the evil forces can trick people into thinking they are protected. But not you, because you feel it's actually the good guys in your heart.

Jesus fucking Christ. 🤦🏼

[-] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Talking to Christians is a good way to test Theory of Mind and if other people have it.

Conclusion: no.

[-] Gnugit@aussie.zone 10 points 1 month ago

America is so damn crazy. What the hell is put in the water over there!?

[-] jobby 16 points 1 month ago

Russian shills have spent the last 20 years salting Facebook with retardium and it catalysed.

[-] meowMix2525@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

Lead.

[-] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

Not fluoride

[-] jeffw@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

PFAS

[-] Gnugit@aussie.zone 1 points 3 weeks ago

Hauntingly relevant considering the recent news about the contamination of half of Australia with this stuff..

[-] Coach@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

"...you might be in a cult."

[-] Broken_Monitor@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Whats the difference between religion and cults?

How many members it has.

[-] jordanlund@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

If God chose Trump, why did he lose in 2020?

Why has he lost in court, after court, after court?

[-] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 weeks ago

Because of the gays. Where have you been?

[-] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

To test his faith

[-] xc2215x@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

God would not do so.

[-] Keaipo@fedia.io 7 points 1 month ago

ie. The voices in MAGA Prophets heads think Trump's conviction was rigged.

[-] autotldr@lemmings.world 4 points 1 month ago

This is the best summary I could come up with:

A trio of prominent, far-right Christians who purport to channel the word of God as it pertains to American politics are pointing to Trump’s guilty verdicts as a divine head-fake.

One might think that Trump’s having been found guilty — on charges stemming from hush money he paid to a porn star to cover up an alleged extramarital affair — might lead Christian leaders to rethink their backing of the sinful former president.

But these self-styled prophets instead see Trump’s conviction as evidence he is a victim — a “political martyr” — or even a biblical figure, a modern “Daniel” or “David.”

Another MAGA prophet, Hank Kunneman, delivered a similar message on Flashpoint — a Trump-boosting religious news-and-prophecy show produced by the Victory Channel, the broadcast network of Texas televangelist Kenneth Copeland.

Kunneman — who sports jet-black hair and curiously groomed eyebrows of the same color — is a pastor from Omaha, Nebraska, who also purports to transmit messages from a God who favors the 45th president.

To Kunneman, Trump appears as a “Daniel,” a biblical figure whose faith God rewarded by preventing him from being eaten in a den of lions.

The original article contains 1,032 words, the summary contains 192 words. Saved 81%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

[-] uebquauntbez@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

In Court, is there still the oath on a bible? With the line '... with the help of God'? Never been there, nor met God to ask.

[-] charade_you_are@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

What god wants, god gets, god help us all

this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2024

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