this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2025
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chapotraphouse

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Times have been dumb as hell and decades are happening each day. So let's all look back on Biden for a bit. Cause that guy was hilarious. Remember when his dogs went Maoist insurgent mode on multiple occasions?

'No offense to the Greeks, but she made the best rice pudding.' Is my personal fave.

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[–] stink@lemmygrad.ml 89 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] axont@hexbear.net 32 points 1 week ago (3 children)

That reminds me of the one I wish were real, "America can be defined in a single word: afututuflalbala"

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 2 points 6 days ago

That one is real? That was the "in the foothills of afghanistan" clip, was that actually Ai and I got got? But it was years ago...

[–] rubber_chicken@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] rubber_chicken@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

It's real and it's spectacular.

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[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He really had a way with words

[–] WrongOnTheInternet@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago

"I kinda wish sometimes I was cognitively impaired"

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 78 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids"

[–] BynarsAreOk@hexbear.net 37 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

omg that is insane you won this thread, he literaly hesitated and realized it too.

"poor kids are just as bright as white kids"

woman claps

"shoot I meant asian kids too"

two more people clap

As a YT comment that was funny.

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[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 22 points 1 week ago

Ohhh great one!

[–] axont@hexbear.net 76 points 1 week ago (3 children)

There's too many to list honestly. Some of my favorites:

  • "We solve our differences at the battle box"
  • "At least three." When asked how many genders exist.
  • "You ever been to a caucus? No you haven't. You're a lying dog-faced pony soldier."
  • "I may be Irish but I'm not stupid."
  • "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy." 2008 quote where he's talking about Obama
  • "The next president of the United States, Barack America." Also from 2008
  • That one time in 2008 he told Missouri state senator Chuck Graham to stand up to receive applause. Graham has been in a wheelchair since 1981.
  • That one time in 2022 where on-stage he asked if senator Jackie Walorski was in the room, except she had been dead for a month.
  • "Osama bin Laden is dead. General Motors is alive."
[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 41 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"At least three." When asked how many genders exist.

This is honestly one of the better answers a senile 80-year-old could give to that question.

[–] Aradino@hexbear.net 27 points 1 week ago

It's genuinely funny so he was almost definitely coached to answer that

[–] Dessa@hexbear.net 37 points 1 week ago (2 children)

At least three." When asked how many genders exist.

"Don't play games with me, kid."

[–] buckykat@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago

The question came from a TPUSA kid trying to play games with him too. One of the only good moments of his entire career.

[–] Blakey@hexbear.net 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Legitimately the best answer. Obviously only by accident but that was genuinely the best possible answer. I hate the dude but gotta give him props for that.

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[–] Tervell@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Osama bin Laden is dead. General Motors is alive."

Biden watched the Dune miniseries I see

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[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 53 points 1 week ago (2 children)

And, by the way— biden-horror

Look, we finally beat Medicare.

[–] Lavender@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago

Biden is an Oracle of Delphi. We were not ready for the Malarkey..

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[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 52 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"We hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women created by — you know, you know, the thing."

🥲

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[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 47 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

"I got hairy legs that-that-that uh turn blonde in the sun and the kids used to come into the pool and rub my leg down so that it was straight and then watch the hair come back up again. They'd look at it. So I learned about roaches, I learned about kids jumping on my lap, and I've loved kids jumping on my lap."

https://youtu.be/oihV9yrZRHg (Starting at 6:40ish)

[–] axont@hexbear.net 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's still crazy to me that cornpop was real.

[–] dannoffs@hexbear.net 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That whole clip is full of bangers.

"I'll never forget what he said, I learned a lot, and I mean - I mean it sincerly. He looked at me and said 'One honkey is just as bad as any other, I'll take whoever you send me'"

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[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 44 points 1 week ago

Walking off the stage mid sentence is not a quote, but my god is it a Bidenism

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 41 points 1 week ago (3 children)

We bring social workers into homes and parents to help them deal with how to raise their children. It's not want they don't want to help. They don't — they don't know quite what to do. Play the radio, make sure the television — excuse me, make sure you have the record player on at night, the, the — make sure that kids hear words.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 34 points 1 week ago

Also Biden said this in response to a question about reparations for slavery

He also seemed to imply that underfunded public schools in majority black areas is the fault of the parents and should be solved by social workers going into their homes, telling them how to raise kids, and keeping the record player on at night

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You just dropped a record and didn't sample that!

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Oh shit oh fuck you're right stalin-stressed

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[–] Rom@hexbear.net 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"The truth and genius and virtue of Strom Thurmond is what I choose and we all choose to remember today."

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ooh Earth Rider, thanks for the great lakes

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[–] ALoafOfBread@lemmy.ml 30 points 1 week ago (3 children)

When told by a constituent that he's too old to run for president:

“Look, the reason I’m running is because I’ve been around a long time and I know more than most people know and I can get things done. That’s why I’m running. You want to check my shape, let’s do push-ups together. Let’s run. Let’s do whatever you want to do.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrL4Pcz-DiQ

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 30 points 1 week ago

'Listen Fat!' Also came from thar exchange.

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[–] deathtoreddit@lemmygrad.ml 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

America is a nation that can be defined in a single word: Afhnfghthatn

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[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago

Nothing will fundamentally change

[–] Ildsaye@hexbear.net 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] segfault11@hexbear.net 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"America is a nation that can be defined in a single word: I was in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping"

[–] DornerStan@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This is the most charitable transcript of the speech and it's still bad lmao

It was posted elsewhere in the thread but here it is

Let me close with I've long said: America is a nation that can be defined in a single word: Eysafut-himuhfutifut

[–] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 3 points 6 days ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

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[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wait has he died or something

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] KuroXppi@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago

Oh sick. I'm hyped

[–] Dort_Owl@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago
[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago

dog-faced-pony-soldier the outburst that gave us this

HEY ESTHER WILLIAMS! biden-rember

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