My friend who recently got on testosterone told me yesterday that their mood has like, substantially improved since starting T and that they’ve started liking themselves more in just a few weeks… damn this HRT shit really is magic, huh. I can’t wait to try it out for myself.

Me 4(+) years ago: I want to be more feminine. I want to be "mistaken" for a girl.

[Does fuck all, except having these thoughts for years]

Me now: I'm trans.

Wow, well done Edward for finally internalising this. Too bad the younger you would write about this in your notebook and then throw it out, not like we would ever want it later would we?

Now what Edward? Time for change, or do we just continue with the same policy.

Hello everyone, how are you all!!! Hopefully good!!! Anyways have a great week, much love 🥰🥰🥰🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🥰🥰🥰

I may be trans, I think, but idk

"am i really trans?" i don't know what it means to be "really trans" but calling myself a girl in my head is the first time in 20+ years i have ever respected myself so fuck it I'll keep doing it

Before I decided to transition, I was nervous that if I did it would change "me", but actually the opposite has happened. I realised earlier this week that I feel more like myself than I have in years. This is how I used to be before. Me without all the pretending and bitterness and fear and all the other bs that hid away the person I actually am.

It's nice. I used to like the person I was, and I'm realising that's always been me, just hiding away under a bunch of failed coping mechanism. I supressed so much of my behaviours and wants because they weren't "masculine". I'm not changing into someone else, I'm finally able to be my authentic self, and it's amazing to recognize that part of myself after so many years of denying it.

Yesterday, I felt gender euphoria for the first time in ages. My hair is constantly getting longer and longer, and my freeform dreads looked in a way that made me feel much more feminine than usual. I'm also 6 months into HRT, and I'm just noticing changes that are there, but I can't quite pinpoint what they are. My eyes are definitely seeing things differently. It was a good vibe even though I still have quite a long way to go before I'm truly as feminine as I want to be. It definitely, at the very least, is a nice break from how much I've been hating how "mannish" my eyes have been perceiving myself recently.

Whyyy am I dysphoic about my face this week. I haven't been dysphoric about my face in well over a year

Feeling like the least pretty girl frfr

It was a little jarring to get together with some of my guy friends and they were talking about weight/lifting and then they started teasing me for being small (I'm objectively not). I never realized how much being large was tied up in masculinity. Like obviously being tall would be, but I didn't realize how much weight was. They all just wanted to bulk up and get huge.

...and I just don't.

is my voice supposed to be breathy during voice training? i feel like i'm targeting the right muscles for resonance but idk. wish there was a more understandable timeline for it

There are some good and some bad international news I'd like to talk about: In Germany, a self-id law is likely to pass parliament in the next days. It's not ideal (mandatory consultation for minors, no binary passports for nonbinary people, no transfem gender marker change during wartime, some dogwhistle-y sentences without legal meaning), but at least they struck the part about automatically reporting every gender marker change to the police. It replaces an older law which required two psychiatric evaluations costing thousands of Euros, so that's good.

On the bad side, in the UK the Cass review was published. It's a "systematic" review of gender care for minors and unsurprisingly, it comes to the conclusion that minors should not get gender-affirming care. Even social transition should not happen without a doctor supervising it. It was obviously planned as a hatchet job from the very beginning by choosing unqualified doctors with clear anti-trans position to write it. As always, the media is failing its duty to accurately report on institutional transphobia while Labour is loudly embracing it. The NHS is now planning to do the same thing with adult gender care, so I can only express my horror at the continuing decline of TERF island.

kind of want to "retire" this account for no other reason than i want to change my username to something aggressively transfemme. I have something in mind so far but I'm still kind of hesitant with it for some reason

does anyone have any good resources on trying to look for housing as a trans person? like, i feel like i should put up a craigslist posting saying something like "pre everything trans femme looking for queer roommates" or something but idk what i should/shouldn't do or what to look out for

me bugging my friends after i've been feeling dysphoric all day

I would like the input of the experienced and wise trans sages of hexbear.

I've been going through a years long process of gender experimentation that has intensified lately. I feel like something just hasn't clicked for me yet.

There are times when I'm perfectly happy to be a non-gender conforming man, and there are other times when I feel the call of the woman very strongly. There are times when I really like having a beard and getting bigger as I increase my muscle mass. I want to clarify that I like these things. It's not just default to me. But there are other times where these same features (mostly the facial hair) fucking kill me. Then there are other in-between times where I don't feel feminine but I wish I did, and I just get sad that I don't feel that way.

I've been going by she/her at home lately, and sometimes it feels good, and other times it doesn't. Most of the time, it just feels fake (I know this is normal).

Sometimes I really want to try HRT, and other times I'm scared of the permanent changes. While the idea of having a vagina seems cool, I actually don't want to get rid of my penis.

I could be experiencing some kind of bigender or gender fluid thing, but honestly, the emotional whiplash is just exhausting. I'm trying my best to just enjoy who I am at the time, regardless of whether it's masculine or feminine, but this makes me feel like I'm using femininity and womanhood like a costume instead an actual gender identity (okay, now that I'm typing this out, I'm seeing similarities to a lot of other trans people).

Am I having a unique experience, or is this just regular dysphoria stuff? Tbh, I feel kind of fraudulent hanging out here sometimes.

I have 26 plans all labeled by alphabet letters, not going to tell a single one because haters will know