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[-] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 59 points 3 weeks ago

Real men only drink the meat juice they spoon out of the bottom of the pack of raw hamburger because they think it's blood.

Real men are also 32% intestinal parasite by volume, as nature intended.

[-] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 28 points 3 weeks ago

Grabbing a pound of ground beef from a mildewy 7-Eleven refrigerator and sucking it out of a Big Slurpee cup through a straw.

[-] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 27 points 3 weeks ago

geordi-no Myoglobin

geordi-yes Ouroglobin

[-] Owl@hexbear.net 25 points 3 weeks ago
[-] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 55 points 3 weeks ago

This was like 20 years ago but my manager once asked me if I was gay because I had a cat.

[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 28 points 3 weeks ago
[-] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 27 points 3 weeks ago

She said she had never heard of a straight man having a cat.

[-] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 20 points 3 weeks ago

Damn. I couldn't push back on that one cause I'm basically pansexual.

[-] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 53 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Real alpha males can have a little citric acid, as a treat

[-] NewAcctWhoDis@hexbear.net 51 points 3 weeks ago

Isn't having your wife bring you a glass of lemonade after you mow the lawn a classic RETVRN fantasy?

[-] WhatDoYouMeanPodcast@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago

I was writing an essay about the difference between Andrew Tate, female dating strategy, and the RETVRN types, but I started to think about how all of them have a bunch of prescriptions for what men consoom, how they emote, and how they engage with society. I think the difference in opinion on what men consoom is negligible between the different subfactions.

I don't think a leftist movement has a good alternative to offer a disaffected politically agnostic young man who wants a relationship besides the opportunity to cleanly disengage with people who are demanding they stop drinking lemonade, but you didn't really ask that. Perhaps in that case, when a RETVRN type is trying to tell men that in their utopia women will step back in line and be obedient, it's just important to always be ready to tell people that fascism has always been obsessed with aesthetics and it never sits flush with reality so while we don't have a good answer, it's better than an actively harmful answer that brings you further from what you want.

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[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 43 points 3 weeks ago

Hot babe comes out with a pitcher of lemonade while I'm wiping the sweat off my brow from mowing the lawn: No thanks "sweetheart" lemonade is for WOMEN.

[-] lil_tank@lemmygrad.ml 36 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Lemonade is the most socialist sweet drink

I don't need to explain

[-] SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago
[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 33 points 3 weeks ago

Oh great! What am I supposed to make with all these lemons life is giving me?!

[-] Gamer_time@hexbear.net 27 points 3 weeks ago

Rub em' in the wounds of your enemies! Raaaaaaaaah!!!! barbarian

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago

How could I forget Cave Johnson and his excellent lemon advice!

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago

Somehow at work, lemon in various form has made it's way all over the menu and so I've genuinely got some solutions to your joke problem! Zest it and nix the zest with a bunch of salt and sugar, mix regularly while drying and you got like a sweet lemony salt thats good sprinkled on lots of stuff, slice the peels up thin and long and simmer them in oil and you got lemon conditioner, and the lemon oil can be used to make a solid lemon aioli, you can make a pretty dope dressing with 1/3 lemon juice 2/3 olive oil and a bunch of salt and pepper mixed up, and you can just eat a lemon.

[-] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Bookmarked for later because all that sounds de-licious!

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[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 31 points 3 weeks ago

please somebody tell me what list of approved manly drinks is

[-] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 43 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

1.) BEER

2.) Whisky

3.) Liquid death

4.) Raw milk

5.) Room temperature water

[-] AmaryllisBlues@hexbear.net 28 points 3 weeks ago

Fuck that water shit. REAL men drink mountain dewwwwwwwwwwww

[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 24 points 3 weeks ago

4.) Raw milk

what, like a baby cow?

[-] GaveUp@hexbear.net 38 points 3 weeks ago

No, from your tradwife duh

[-] polskilumalo@lemmygrad.ml 24 points 3 weeks ago

oh god fuck you now i remembered the breast milk ice cream dude :data-laugh:

[-] Nationalgoatism@hexbear.net 22 points 3 weeks ago

As a man, you should only drink whiskey, never whisky which is a liquor for effeminate peoples (scots etc)

[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 21 points 3 weeks ago

Oh no, in Colombia we only have kilt-wearing girl whisky kitty-cri-screm

[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago

is rum manly? we have rum

pirates drank rum

[-] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago
[-] supafuzz@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

oh shit oh damn :ohnoes:

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[-] buh@hexbear.net 18 points 3 weeks ago
  1. The juice from RAW chicken because REAL MEN aren't afraid of bird flu
[-] betelgeuse@hexbear.net 24 points 3 weeks ago

Yes, I'm a man. That means I drain my styrofoam tray of raw chicken into a glass and add some spritz for a manly sparkling myoglobin.

[-] Yamimakai@hexbear.net 10 points 3 weeks ago

Now why would a man want a sparkling drink?

You know what else sparkles? Glitter. No real man would be caught dead in the same room as glitter.

[-] sir_this_is_a_wendys@hexbear.net 20 points 3 weeks ago

I'm literally drinking lemonade right now and I STILL have a penis

[-] SnowySkyes@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

I just finished drinking lemonade and I lost mine. Taking this highly scientific study into consideration, people have a 50% chance to lose their penis if they drink lemonade.

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[-] jaywalker@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

I STILL have a penis

what are you gay???

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[-] AlicePraxis@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago

when life gives you lemons, take a shot of whiskey like a REAL MAN

[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 15 points 3 weeks ago

Honestly trying American lemonade and American tea for the first time was an experience. Why is there so much sugar (or I guess high fructose corn syrup) in this drink?

[-] Awoo@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

sugar (or I guess high fructose corn syrup)

IT ALL TASTES LIKE METAL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thank god we don't have this problem in the UK

[-] Dessa@hexbear.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

Depends on who is making it. Everything store bought will be super sweet. I make my lemonade sour

[-] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

It was an immigrant from Chicago, but she said she preferred "southern style" whatever that means. Pulled out iced tea with like a week's worth of my regular sugar intake in the pitcher.

[-] frankfurt_schoolgirl@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago

Southern tea is absurdly sweet, it's more normal in other places. I did think lemonade was sugary everywhere tho.

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[-] ta00000@hexbear.net 14 points 3 weeks ago

warf-wtf a warrior's drink

[-] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 13 points 3 weeks ago

I miss working at a place that was also a juice bar, I figured out an amazing recipe for close enough to lemonade. Lemons mostly, a couple basil leaves and a bit of carrot juiced. Pour it over shaved ice. Best cooking in a hot kitchen drink ever if they also throw in some vodka

[-] Feinsteins_Ghost@hexbear.net 12 points 3 weeks ago

why are you …

Because it’s delicious thats why. Imagine having such a fragile grip on being a man, whatver the fuck that even means, that you are bothered by a man drinking lemonade.

[-] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 11 points 3 weeks ago
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[-] kristina@hexbear.net 9 points 3 weeks ago

a traa post, in cth? more likely than you think :thonk:

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this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2024
228 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

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