"I analyze sales"
"I develop automation"
~~There's no saving Blockchain stuff fuck that~~
"I sustainably harvest fish and other aquatic foodstuffs for human and/or animal consumption."
Bad news fisherbros
this doesn't always work the other way, for example "I own property"
I’d say that still works because ownership of a thing isn’t work. Saying “I own a coffee maker” says nothing about what I do for work. If their description doesn’t include describing labor then they’re clearly not working for a living.
“I make phonecalls.” -Landlord
This meme sucks lol
I'm pretty sure none of these are actually "bullshit jobs" as defined by Graeber, they just do things that Hexbear culture doesn't like.
Also, plenty of very real R&D & manufacturing jobs couldn't be described in 3 words without being needlessly vague or reductive. There is in fact complexity in a modern industrial economy.
Yeah this is a little bit "if you don't have a hard hat and a big hammer you aren't proletarian," which is the exact opposite of what we should be saying
I didn't feel like busting out the jargon but yeah it smacks a bit of vulgar producerism.
It's been a while since I read it, but there are two broad categories of bullshit jobs, right? In the first, the job itself is bullshit; you might barely have any day-to-day responsibilities and no one notices if you do any work or not, or perhaps the work itself doesn't accomplish anything of value (I think an example of the latter was someone who prepared exhaustive compliance reports that no one actually read). The second category is a real job that contributes to a bullshit industry. So a network administrator is a real job, but doing IT work for an insurance company is in service of a bullshit industry that just shuffles money around. On the other hand, an engineer for Lockheed Martin, while undeniably doing harm, is not doing a bullshit job.
Totally with you on complexity not implying bullshit, though.
OTOH this meme would piss off techbros which makes it good.
I can see the appeal, but I suppose I don't think about techbros that much so that's not a metric I'm evaluating things on 
Cool add 1 word and now it is still valid. I am so sick of corporate bs speak.
Bad because the vast majority of bullshit jobs are just:
This is more than three words, but "I fetishize real work and imagine that the only thing that counts as real work is when white guys with beards do stuff that would fit in the age of empires tech tree"
I guarantee the author of this meme is some urban liberal that is working through their own alienation from work
People seem to constantly forget that the working class is mostly women of color. "I drive buses" or "I serve food" would have been better
I draw furries
"I break kneecaps" - debt collector
"I kill dogs" - cop
"I ruin countries" - US president
I write bangers
I bang writers
hears the sounds of the Volcell police and runs away
u can run but u can't hide from the volcel police
I herd cats
"I abuse and kill fish"
Sorry, that's more than three words 
I can describe those first three in three words:
“I scam people”
“I scam people”
“I scam people”
I mean, lots of automated capabilities are very real things, like running a hydroelectric plant.
See, I’d just describe my job as “running a hydroelectric plant” then. When people lead with the esoteric, abstract jargon instead of the concrete, that screams to me either they’re puffing up what they do to make it sound more impressive than it really is, or they’re a grifter. It’s like people that describe themselves as entrepreneurs; people who run a small business developing something they’re passionate about talk about making the product or service, people who talk about being an entrepreneur are about to sell you on a Ponzi scheme or MLM scam.
I’d just describe my job as “running a hydroelectric plant” then
Notably four words, you hack 
I mean I absolutely agree on a fundamental level, but practically even workers who do real things (like help run a hydro plant) will have to use phrases like these at and around potential employers. It's not being a grifter so much as speaking grifting language at grifters (employers/investors etc.). If someone says that kind of stuff to me as a non-work acquiantance, family, friend etc. then yeah it's for sure nonsense.
The two firsts are bad examples because it's just software engineering. They might build a scammy bullshit service but they might also build the interface through which we operate trains so that's not the definition of bullshit
I pretend working
This message brought to you by "I make comics but post them online instead of having a contract with a newspaper"
i do everything
i sell stamps
I program computer.
Dunno if its any interest but graeber was insistent that having a BS job was self defined. Because there are jobs that may appear useless to an outsider but in fact are not.
Also having a job which is harmful, destructive, or evil is not the same as having a BS job.
Saving this when I inevitably have to make a LinkedIn profile
I suck dick
Ive never read this but the cover always shits me, we're going to need comrades doing behind the scenes admin after the revolution
I have a fake job. I'm going to try to get a new one soon. But I just tell people I meet it's a fake job.
I work at the dick-sucking factory
Wait, that's more than three words don't tell me it was all for nothing
Fellatio factory foreman?
I never got promoted. A lot of favoritism at the dick sucking factory
Glad to see that "social media influencer" is a real job.
I deliver beans
Not even a joke, I'm a bean delivery man
I jerk off
i vape piss
I extract surplus
I kill gamers
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Vaush posts go in the_dunk_tank
Dunk posts in general go in the_dunk_tank, not here
Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from the_dunk_tank
