this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
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Also who's your pick for winner of the arbitrary 4-way american civil war? Personally I'm hoping for the West, but I'm worried Northeast might sneak victory in when nobody's looking

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[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 36 points 4 months ago (2 children)

whoever could maintain a blockade of the others ports probably.

if I were running one of the breakaway nations, I would try to form a coalition with another one over mutual disdain for texas. decapitate it's leadership, demobilize it's law enforcement, and create a colony on it with displaced people from other areas. heavily arm them and direct them to land / resource / infrastructure grab everything.

with any luck, everybody will be so focused on that shit show, they won't notice that I have used all the gold to build a giant Colossus of myself that shoots flames and lightning bolts.

checkmate.

[–] Chronicon@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

whoever could maintain a blockade of the others ports probably.

the fate of the midwest rests on whether canada can help us keep the st lawrence seaway open

The mississippi is a lost cause pretty much

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

decapitate it's leadership

Based

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 36 points 4 months ago (3 children)

West has the economy and the defensive geography. It is impossible for them to lose.

[–] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

the west will balkanize further thos.. it is to diverse .. the desert plateus , the Fjords and giant trees around seattle , california stealing all their water.. Theocracies versus technocracy.. also oregon , maybe somethig about oregon is also special.

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I mean yeah the faction is fictional and unlikely but the question is based on if the factions were the above image. West has the strongest geography going for them.

[–] tactical_trans_karen@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

But not as far as shipping. The great lakes facilitated a lot of expansion.

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[–] ghost_of_faso2@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 4 months ago

not to mention political legitmancy as the central power, control of the militarys assets and the big red button.

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 33 points 4 months ago

Midwest

Under that veil of Minnesota nice beats the heart of some of the most vicious and demonic creatures known to God

[–] blobjim@hexbear.net 33 points 4 months ago

thry turned the US into the microsoft logo and it immediately broke

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

don't care so long as it ends in communism

[–] liberaldeathsquads@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

Independent south

Ngmi

[–] DirtyPair@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago

I just hope everyone has fun

[–] Beetle_O_Rourke@hexbear.net 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

NE and West would be the only real contenders as a matter of economic power.

My bet is NE because they would be able to bribe or coerce the midwest into sharing Great lakes water, at which point the clock on the West running out of potable water would be the driving factor behind their surrender.

[–] liberaldeathsquads@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

West>south>midwest>northeast

West is obviously strongest but northeast is literally the smallest in land and population. None of these regions would lack in water, just bad policies, bad infrastructure, them not sharing water wouldn’t even be a factor. There are places on earth where wars have been fought over water, America probably won’t be one of them unless we are talking tens of thousands of years into the future and by then water probably won’t be the biggest concern climate change wise.

[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 8 points 4 months ago

America probably won’t be one of them unless we are talking tens of thousands of years into the future and by then water probably won’t be the biggest concern climate change wise

read cadillac desert lol (but i don't think western water would be a deciding factor in <decade long war)

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Southerners may have a lot of guns, but they have no where to train for war except indoor gun ranges. Whereas western blue states have a ton of public land, but most of the people there absolutely despise guns despite wanting the police and military to arrest every republican

I mean, historically most civil wars didn’t involve civilians training ahead of time. But most countries that had civil wars in the modern day weren’t as rich and privileged as Americans. A modern day american civil war will look less like Yugolavia and more like the Roof Koreans in the LA Riots - that is, a bunch of assholes shooting each other because they lack the communication and proper training (despite their ebic skills in the korean war). The exception being the mall cops that actually have time and money to “train” in the woods all day with their militias.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 26 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Seeing that map reminds me of a post I read some time ago about a "libertararian" who moved from California to Texas to scape the "oppressive" state government to a land of free, just to find out there were no public parks where to camp, and that that was his favorite hobbie and now they "understood" why some government is needed and was thinking on going back to California.

[–] BynarsAreOk@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

Southerners may have a lot of guns, but they have no where to train for war except indoor gun ranges.

As if the problem is gun handling and not the fact the average chud couldn't run for 2 miles without having a heart attack. Seriously I would not expect the average American to go through a civil war scenario without clogging up hospitals with all sorts of heart problems and general consequences of an extremely sedentary lifestyle.

Maybe you saw the recent pictures of those old Ukrainian soldiers? People dunk on them looking like tired/out of shape but imo they are probably in better physical condition than like half of these chuds.

[–] quarrk@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago

The South would try invading the Midwest, but end up dying from all the industrial carcinogens that Midwesterners have adapted to. Like the wildlife around Chernobyl.

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago

Gonna sneak in and burn down the white house again while you are all fighting

[–] Llituro@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Well with the west and the south splitting most of the nuke supply and the Midwest being capable of thriving in nuclear winter, it's really anyone's game. The northeast is no longer the manufactory hub it once was. Ultimately though, I think the west is set up to take home the victory with critical support and materials from China. Can't really get that anywhere else too readily.

[–] radio_free_asgarthr@hexbear.net 11 points 4 months ago

The Midwest would have quite a few nukes. North Dakota and Kansas holds a large fraction of them.

https://nuclearforces.org/country-profiles/united-states

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

Plus the West would have most of it's critical infrastructure far away from the border. Much easier to protect your heavy industry when it's 1500 miles away from the fighting. The South and Midwest have relatively vulnerable infrastructure not far from their borders, easy distance to target without having to refuel and less time to intercept any missiles.

[–] ThomasMuentzner@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

midwest is expected to be expansionist as it needs to secure its in / export routes by taking New Orleans and securing the St Lorance river? (warm water ports)

[–] Lenins_Cat_Reincarnated@hexbear.net 18 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Americans please explain to me why the midwest is called the midwest. It’s kinda in the middle, but it’s really not the west?? Why not call it the midnorth? Or northern mid?

[–] TC_209@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago

From the perspective of an 18th century European colonist, that territory is the "middle" of a great expanse of land to the west.

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[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Represent.

SOYBEANS AND CORN

[–] Tunnelvision@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Soybeanis and cornbeanis

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

The west could hold the mountain passes and remain independent if they don't win the whole thing.

Texas is fucked after one of its biannual electrical crashes so they'll be in play for like six months tops and then be a burden for whoever allies with them. Eventually Mexico takes it back.

The south continues their Civil War losing streak. The villages in Florida look like a charnel house after 2 weeks.

The north east loses Maine to Canada and maybe loses the war but nobody wants to occupy it after.

[–] gallopingsnail@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

inb4 the northeast becomes a collection of city-states? 🤔

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Philly will be too busy bullying it's neighbors to become a regional power

Jersey City changes its name to Giorzzi and completes its Italofication.

Ireland invades and razes Boston to put an end to its shenanigans once and for all.

[–] darkmode@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

Ireland invades and razes Boston to put an end to its shenanigans once and for all.

inshallah

[–] RION@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago

our enemies will crumble under the might of Papa Khan Pritzker and the midwestern horde

[–] WeedReference420@hexbear.net 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago

Burgerreich

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

It’ll be less geopolitical and more like After the End where a bunch of american enclaves fight with cultists

[–] Tiocfaidhcaisarla@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

Could see likely a coalition of the NE, which should probably include Maryland, Delaware, and DC, plus Midwest and West Coast minus the plains and mountain states. They'd then mop the floor.

I hope rather for a draw and balkanisation.