chapotraphouse

"the chicken is stuffed with butter and then braised in the blood of a hundred thousand conscripts maimed and slaughtered to ensure europe is forever dependent on american natural gas supplies," the flight attendant says. "it's chicken kyiv. it comes with your choice of geno-side."

You think it's silly to choose between two bad things?

Well what if it was a good thing vs a bad thing!?

Checkmate, lefties.

the chicken is also covered in shit and stuffed with broken glass, but the liberals keep insisting that it's the better choice because there's still some chicken in there. somewhere

I wouldn't eat from a food service where shit with broken glass was on the menu.

genocide joe kills thousands of kids

genocide joe brain melts on stage

Tells about priorities alright

Then you ask did any of the glass get in the chicken as well and they tell you yes and so you choose to obviously not eat anything on the plane because they're serving shit with glass in it

the plane is bombing Gaza

You choose the chicken without a critical thought

You receive salmonella.

Every election cycle liberals pull out the obnoxious food analogies.

"Hillary is like a hamburger and Trump is like a big stinky poo turd. I know some of you wanted pizza but they don't serve pizza so it's either the hamburger or the smelly poo big poopy turd of shit poop!!!!"

Why would I eat anything from a place serving people feces?

Imagine being on an airplane that's boarding. It's an unusual airliner. It only has one pilot. The pilot's name is Biden. Before you got on board - you happened to sit next to him for an hour in the airport. And you watched him and he was just like he was on the debate stage. It would be cause for worry and you'd want off that plane. The meal would be the least of your worries.

Hot take, if shit and broken glass is one of the options my waiter offers me I’m gonna have some fucking questions about any alternative options

The desperate need to always make analogies just to defend Biden is something else. Analogies should only be used if they add something to make understanding the subject easier. But it also assumes the other side is not intelligent enough to understand the subject in the first place.

You wouldn't use analogies to explain the newest Quantum mechanics to Einstein. You could use them to introduce them to a person with a poor math/physics background maybe. But at the end you wouldn't assume the person who "kind of gets it" through an analogy to actualy come out knowing about said topic. You teach an analogy to a kid to help, you don't make the analogy the entire subject and replace the actual topic.

So yeah, all these dipshits using analogies are just saying "hey you pathetic manchild that doesn't understand how democracy is supposed to work, here let me dumb it down for you all why you need to vote for my candidate. So imagine a restaurant menu..."

What do they expect? A bow and a thank you mr democrat asshole I understand democracy now and will proceed to vote for the person you just told me to. The only response should rather be a punch in their face.

Then you take a closer look at the chicken and turns out the thing is rotten, also full of glass and completely unsafe for consumption, so not any better than the other option, you'd be just as sick either way. And so, you logically decide to not take either of these option and after looking the rest of the cart up and down you settle on a bag of peanuts sitting in a compartment bellow the main 2 options, not the best but at least it's actually comestible.

But before you can grab the bag of peanuts the passenger just in front grab your arm to stop you. The man has a costume vest, shirt and necktie on top, a baggy pant maintained by strings of bad quality fabric and white socks in flip-flops, your eyes briefly settle on the pins on his fedora, you notice the oh too familiar one displaying a smiling chicken with a shit eating grin full of human teethes and growl mentally in annoyance as the man stare you down with a smug look off superiority and disdain and begin telling you the same thing these types all says every single time:

"You can't take the peanuts you fool! You need to take the chicken!"

You roll your eyes not even bothering to hide your annoyance this time.

"It's rotten and full of glass shards, I can't eat that"

"Yeah but at least it is actual food unlike the platter of shit with broken glass. Or would you rather have more airline companies serve crap with shards of glass? Because that's what you're encouraging by buying peanuts!"

"How the heck does taking peanuts encour-"

"THAT'S JUST HOW 2 DISHES TRAYS WORKS, DON'T QUESTION IT AND CHOOSE STRATEGICALLY IF YOU DON'T WANT EVERY SINGLE DISH TO BE REPLACED WITH LITERAL SHIT!!"

"Even if that was somehow true, rotten chicken isn't any better."

"HOW DARE YOU SAY IT'S NOT BETTER?! HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THESE SCARY SHARDS OF GLASS? AND BESIDE I'M SURE THAT THE GLASS SHARDS IN THAT SHIT ARE MORE SHARP THAN THOSE IN THE CHICKEN AND YOU TOTALLY CAN DIGEST ROTTEN CHICKEN UNLIKE SHIT I'VE READ IT SOMEWHERE WHICH MEANS -"

Here you go, another fool to berate you all flight for daring not wanting to experience food poisoning. This flight is gonna be a long one.

except the chicken is stuffed with shit and glass

they only differ in presentation

In this metaphor we are Vegan.

Reply to your friend: "So genocide is an edible meal to you? Its something that you find palatable? An acceptable option?"

I look down at my "chicken" and find that it is a platter of shit with rusty nails in it

Once you notice how these lib columnist assholes only ever articulate their terrible ideas as castle-in-the-sky hypotheticals because reality is too dicey, you never unsee it. The Freidman Special.

Only reasonable response to this shit:

Fuck off and die.

I'm Vegan, fuck both options I'll eat when I get off the plane.

I’m not hungry, thank you.

That this stupid-ass lib metaphor does not even feature the consideration of refusing... food

I've never been so excited to undercooked chicken sneezed on by a covid positive chef

That's actually a pretty good analogy for why its sensible to choose neither lol.

is eating shit vegan

Wow so relatable. When was the last time airlines had meals? Every time I fly I'd get a bag of pretzels and a cup of soda.

I'm not undecided though. I've firmly decided I'm not hungry.

Well since , I'm not gonna request either dish.

How is the chicken cooked? With a marinade of shit and glass obviously!

If they've got a platter of shit as an option, their chicken is going to be an E. coli risk.

The rational response is to say "I'm not hungry."

Libs really need to understand what messages only serve to virtue signal to their in group versus convince a neutral bystander. This type of smug self-congratulatory horseshit is less convincing to the average normie scrolling by than posting that Tom Hanks is going to harvest their kid's andrenochrome. And this stuff makes the chuds gleeful because it reads like you are coping by unraveling.

Genocide and deporting migrants is like having chicken on a plane, wow that's real advanced politics