this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse

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You'll realize that lines total bullcrap in 10 seconds.

Aries works for this too.

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[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 51 points 1 year ago (5 children)

My trick with astrology people is "i don't believe in astrology because i'm an aquarius".

[–] kristina@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago

my trick with astrology people is pulling down my pants and taking a shit on the floor (i've been holding it a long time so it comes out quick) whenever they speak

[–] Angel@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago

"Thank God I'm an atheist."

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What if they hit you with a lil', when the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars ♫?

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago
[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

I'm definitely going to remember this

[–] happybadger@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm not a formal "astrologist", but I did choose bulbasaur in Pokemon Red. This means I have all of the good traits and none of the bad ones. I can mate with any other sign or pokemon but choose not to because bulbasaur is the wisdom symbol.

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 37 points 1 year ago

Assigned Slytherin At Birth

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago

Scorpios are okay but by the time you can make more than a couple of them you're better off using your workshops to make onagers or just saving the resources for trebuchets.

[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Picking up on just enough astrology is a good way to pick up hot people with that crystal aesthetic. Then they look at my chart and its a recreation of the beginning of Toby Dammit so it doesn't last long.

[–] Saeculum@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The downside is that they believe in astrology.

[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

yea the number of cute lesbians who have astrology brainworms is agonizingly high

[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

True, but there's worse things that someone can believe in. Upside can get on their good side with very little effort.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Uh oh are we gonna have another astrology struggle session

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'm ENTJ. What's your sign?

[–] DrCrustacean@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago
[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Antonio Gramsci's Useless Intellectual

[–] PapaEmeritusIII@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If you have misgivings about astrology it's because you hate women (pay no attention to the people who have been discriminated against on housing or jobs because of their astrological sign)

Not liking a system that assigns value to human lives based on immutable characteristics determined at birth is actually misogynist and homophobic sweaty

Actually, it's because you hate women AND queers

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh we've had a whole bunch, they've just never been sitewide brawls like some of the more notable struggle sessions

[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

Book title: The Hellenistic Astrology of Outdoor Cats and Asswiping

[–] autism_2@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

The audacity to be born in April. I think someone should kill you

[–] DerRedMax@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My partner just finished a certificate program for astrology. I was definitely a skeptic but I support her, especially in things she’s passionate about. I’ve come to understand it as basically an elaborate way of tracking patterns in living things from people to stars.

I’m fascinated how the astrological calendar lines up with other calendars. It’s clear Netanyahu is following the Jewish calendar for the war and it’s lined up with events in the astrological calendar. There are indications that something major will happen in the conflict - my guess is agression towards Lebanon - in the next ten days with the fast of the 17th of Tammuz on July 23. The Anaretic Full Moon in Capricorn is on July 21.

That being said, she probably would laugh at the jokes in this thread and loathes armchair internet “astrologers”.

[–] Black_Mald_Futures@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

an elaborate way of hallucinating a "pattern"

[–] ChaosMaterialist@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago

Or the other way: A built-in schedule to follow, particularly if that schedule comes with predictions of good/bad luck.

[–] TerminalEncounter@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Ask em about Geminis.

[–] Babs@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I used to live with some astrology lesbians and they were very insistent on knowing my exact minute of birth.

No idea what they ended up doing with that information ngl.

[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You fool, that's all they needed for the ritual to discover your true name, now you've granted them power over yourself!

[–] Babs@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

Oh no, I'm being overpowered by the astrology lesbians? How awful! soviet-bottom

[–] AlpineSteakHouse@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Astrology is just a socially acceptable way to ask when your birthday is.

...and then make sweeping judgements about someone with it.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago

I knew a lady that was a Scorpio. She had a mug with her sign and the little positive traits on it. Absolutely wonderful person and character in her own right. I can imagine it was an annoying thing to hear people talking shit with actual bile-filled intent.

[–] Barabas@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

I just like astrology because I invariably get the dickhead signs in all the different ways people look at it.

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Scorpio is the most common sign so hating scorpios is actually elitism or something.

[–] marxisthayaca@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m a cancer and that’s the best sign. Suck it

Carcinization

[–] duderium@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You gotta problem with scorpios???? This is anti-scorpio discrimination! anti-italian-discrimination

[–] Lemmygradwontallowme@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What's wrong with Scorpio?

I could care less than the fact that it exists...

That being said, if you're born beyond July 31 and before Jan. 1, your day of birth is probably lame... why didn't ye get out of the womb earlier, plus, it reminds me of the end of summer breaks

Other than that, I don't see anything that stops them from being their own person...

[–] CupcakeOfSpice@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

Okay, but do you KNOW Vriska?