this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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chapotraphouse

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I’ve always understood this site to be anti-gamer but for some reason I’ve always chosen to blind myself to the fact that many of you are just selfdepricating gamers.

You’re not really invested in the cause.

I feel like I’m in an Alcoholics support group and I’m the only one not drinking while you guys just hate on yourselves.

I feel like a clown, feeling supported by TRAITORS.

I stand alone with a double barrel shotgun surrounded by people double handing gamecube controllers what the FUCK

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[–] Thallo@hexbear.net 65 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

And the Buddha said,

"Who would enlighten the gamers,

If I were not here among them?"

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 46 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] gueybana@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

One man surrounded by a locust of treat children can only hope to be engulfed by their drool, annexed into a body that is rectally attached to a nintendo console, yearning for the latest form of abuse that will placate the entity’s masochistic desires

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 52 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

Man walks into therapy office

Tells doctor he's depressed, has to spend time at the office with people who make his life hell

Doctor leans back, says "You should relax, play a calm game of Mario Kart"

Man starts weeping and says, "But doctor, it's a me, Mario!"

Drum roll, hold for laughs, fade to black

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I want to share this with someone, but I'm not sure I know anyone who understands the context

It's like posting loss in the group chat

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[–] StalinStan@hexbear.net 10 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

The doctor was also Mario. I dunno how but some big ass yellow pills would probably help.

[–] Belly_Beanis@hexbear.net 47 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but have you seen this dope as fuck tankie gamer mouse?

[–] the_itsb@hexbear.net 27 points 3 months ago

oof, ouch, my ~~bones~~ carpal tunnel

[–] LeylaLove@hexbear.net 43 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Counter argument, what better thing is there to do than play Mario Kart while hitting the Mario Cart?

[–] gueybana@hexbear.net 30 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

bear-despair

Jesus christ….I have been living a lie

THEY’RE EVERYWHERE

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 41 points 3 months ago

In this house we enjoy Disco Elysium.

You will put on the horrific necktie. horrific-necktie

You will trust Evrart to find your gun. evrart

Whatever has happened, whatever will happen, you will make this face through it all. tequila-sunset

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 38 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Okay but hear me out

Runs away

[–] Antiwork@hexbear.net 25 points 3 months ago (4 children)
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[–] Yor@hexbear.net 36 points 3 months ago (8 children)

tbh I find it hard to comprehend that some people literally never play video games. I can understand not every day, but never? genuinely incomprehensible to me

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago (4 children)

It's the same as jerking off vs gooning

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[–] tamagotchicowboy@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Life isn't very long, most work the majority of the day and only have a few hours to yourself tops. Gaming systems are expensive and associated with nerds. Are you going to play a poorly simulated game rendering of reality or be the game?

[–] LanyrdSkynrd@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I will not touch grass, no matter how nice you make it sound

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[–] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I occasionally play a video game but I am not a gamer.

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 36 points 3 months ago (3 children)

There's a difference between playing games, one of many potential recreational activities, and internalizing the act of playing games as part of your identity.

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Capital-G freeze-gamer are the ones that get really mad at people for not being hardcore enough or for not making every waking moment of playing a game a performative act of suffering and chewing glass. Also they're really horny about feeemales but in the driest possible way and hate actually seeing living breathing thinking feeemales present in their preoccupation.

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[–] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 15 points 3 months ago

Totally agree. That's my subtext actually.

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[–] anaesidemus@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] Smeagolicious@hexbear.net 17 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Uh, yeah, I consider phlebas

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[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 29 points 3 months ago

fucking trapped in the context of all the games played before kamala-coconut-tree

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 26 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Yeah that's cool, anyway we're playing smash bros and got room for one more kirby-wave

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[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 24 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The Gamer™ is a fascist who is annoying and makes video games their entire personality. Not all video game treats are bad

[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

i play video games and make horniness my entire personality

we are not the same

[–] SkingradGuard@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)
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[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 24 points 3 months ago

No, you misheard, we're actually gay-mers, homosexual amphibious humanoids.

[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

your laughing

they reduced lara crofts breast size slightly and your laughing

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[–] Diuretic_Materialism@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago
[–] Aquilae@hexbear.net 21 points 3 months ago

joker-gaming Gamers truly are the most oppressed class...

[–] Gorb@hexbear.net 19 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] roux@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It's gamin' time!™

[–] CrookedSerpent@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

Yeah, I'm a gamer, what are ya gunna do about it? Ban me for gaming? Huh, we truly are the most oppressed minority.

[–] CyberSyndicalist@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago

You are not alone... there is an underground of us anti-gamers still fighting the good fight.

We have a plan to take down the gamers once and for all.

I think you might be ready to join us.

But first I need to know are you prepared to go all the way gueybana?

yesYou have fallen for my ruse; you see this was a dialogue tree all along! by clicking on it you have committed an act of gaming thereby making you a gamer now and forever more.

noso you choose to perish like a dog? where are your convicitions? is this all a game to you? of course it is you G*MER

[–] casskaydee@hexbear.net 16 points 3 months ago (4 children)

This is about that shitty Fromsoft post isn't it

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[–] MusicOwl@hexbear.net 13 points 3 months ago

Last time I played a game was Stardew Valley like, a year ago. I do watch my friend stream on Twitch though, for the hang. Does this make me a voyeur gamer?

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 11 points 3 months ago

double barrel shotgun

You mean super shotgun?

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