And the Buddha said,
"Who would enlighten the gamers,
If I were not here among them?"
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
112 points (93.8% liked)
chapotraphouse
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One man surrounded by a locust of treat children can only hope to be engulfed by their drool, annexed into a body that is rectally attached to a nintendo console, yearning for the latest form of abuse that will placate the entity’s masochistic desires
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Man walks into therapy office
Tells doctor he's depressed, has to spend time at the office with people who make his life hell
Doctor leans back, says "You should relax, play a calm game of Mario Kart"
Man starts weeping and says, "But doctor, it's a me, Mario!"
Drum roll, hold for laughs, fade to black
I want to share this with someone, but I'm not sure I know anyone who understands the context
It's like posting loss in the group chat
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The doctor was also Mario. I dunno how but some big ass yellow pills would probably help.
Yeah but have you seen this dope as fuck tankie gamer mouse?
oof, ouch, my ~~bones~~ carpal tunnel
Counter argument, what better thing is there to do than play Mario Kart while hitting the Mario Cart?
Jesus christ….I have been living a lie
THEY’RE EVERYWHERE
In this house we enjoy Disco Elysium.
You will put on the horrific necktie. 
You will trust Evrart to find your gun. 
Whatever has happened, whatever will happen, you will make this face through it all. 
tbh I find it hard to comprehend that some people literally never play video games. I can understand not every day, but never? genuinely incomprehensible to me
Life isn't very long, most work the majority of the day and only have a few hours to yourself tops. Gaming systems are expensive and associated with nerds. Are you going to play a poorly simulated game rendering of reality or be the game?
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I occasionally play a video game but I am not a gamer.
There's a difference between playing games, one of many potential recreational activities, and internalizing the act of playing games as part of your identity.
Capital-G 
are the ones that get really mad at people for not being hardcore enough or for not making every waking moment of playing a game a performative act of suffering and chewing glass. Also they're really horny about feeemales but in the driest possible way and hate actually seeing living breathing thinking feeemales present in their preoccupation.
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Totally agree. That's my subtext actually.
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fucking trapped in the context of all the games played before 
Yeah that's cool, anyway we're playing smash bros and got room for one more 
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The Gamer™ is a fascist who is annoying and makes video games their entire personality. Not all video game treats are bad
i play video games and make horniness my entire personality
we are not the same
No, you misheard, we're actually gay-mers, homosexual amphibious humanoids.
your laughing
they reduced lara crofts breast size slightly and your laughing
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Gamers truly are the most oppressed class...
I do be gamin
It's gamin' time!™
Yeah, I'm a gamer, what are ya gunna do about it? Ban me for gaming? Huh, we truly are the most oppressed minority.
You are not alone... there is an underground of us anti-gamers still fighting the good fight.
We have a plan to take down the gamers once and for all.
I think you might be ready to join us.
But first I need to know are you prepared to go all the way gueybana?
yes
You have fallen for my ruse; you see this was a dialogue tree all along! by clicking on it you have committed an act of gaming thereby making you a gamer now and forever more.
no
so you choose to perish like a dog? where are your convicitions? is this all a game to you? of course it is you G*MER
Last time I played a game was Stardew Valley like, a year ago. I do watch my friend stream on Twitch though, for the hang. Does this make me a voyeur gamer?
double barrel shotgun
You mean super shotgun?
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