this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2025
137 points (100.0% liked)

chapotraphouse

13646 readers
885 users here now

Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.

No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer

Slop posts go in c/slop. Don't post low-hanging fruit here.

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Abracadaniel@hexbear.net 71 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A car marketed to mac-concern who spends time thinking about how badass he'd be in various kinetic engagements.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 44 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Elon really is the king of dumb guys that peaked in high school.

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 25 points 1 week ago

This is probably the best succinct explanation I've read of Elon.

[–] AnarchoAnarchist@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The only problem with this analysis is that, from what I remember, everyone in his highschool hated him.

So, more like "what a perennial loser thinks someone who peaked in Highschool would be like" which is even sadder.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] rhubarb@hexbear.net 69 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The Cybertruck will protect you from most muzzleloader fire, but watch out for the enemy 12-pounders

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 59 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The cybertruck will stop enemy crossbow bolts but beware the arquebusiers

[–] Alaskaball@hexbear.net 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You really think it could stop a crossbow bolt? Like from a war crossbow armed with an armor piercing spike?

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No way lmao

Rotating the image of Elon getting domed by a war crossbow through the window of a Cybertruck in my mind palace rn tho, absolutely sensational

🏹 libertarian-approaching

[–] Robert_Kennedy_Jr@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I couldn't find an actual picture of him sitting in a cyber truck.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okay, now I have to write some kinda music thing titled "Beware the Arquebusiers"

maxwell-party

I need a genre, an instrument that you want to carry the melody, and some kinda lyrical angle or hook or something

I'm thinking dbeat? Black metal? Crust? Guitar driven probably?

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Some medieval ish crusty stuff like Barrow Wright or Weald & Woe

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 65 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The car is bullet proof except for where someone would aim their bullets normally

[–] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 50 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And only if they're nice enough to use subsonic ammo lmao

WATASHI NO .300 BLK

[–] Z_Poster365@hexbear.net 42 points 1 week ago

Also, not bulletproof to any modern firearm

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 57 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Lol, the reason he specifies a tommy gun is because it's .45 caliber, and standard 45 ammo is subsonic by default. It will literally only stop that, a standard 9mm will go right through. And knowing the cybertruck, I wouldn't be surprised if they just shot it with a 45 handgun and decided "yup, it stops .45" and never actually tested it out of a longer barrel.

This is not fiction.

The surest mark of the bullshitter

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago

Turning a cybertruck into swiss cheese mag dumping 50 rounds of 5.7x28mm out of a P90 for trve kvlt cybërpvnk cred

cyber-lenin dril

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] EstraDoll@hexbear.net 46 points 1 week ago (1 children)

me when the quality automobile i purchased from Tesla Motors is in fact impervious to bullets fired from a submachine gun. (This will keep me safe in my planned future vacation to visit Chicago in 1929 in my fucking time machine that can take my fucking car with me)

[–] sleeplessone@lemmy.ml 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This will keep me safe in my planned future vacation to visit Chicago in 1929 in my fucking time machine that can take my fucking car with me

You joke, but the cybertruck has the same "I fucking love science" techbro vibes as the delorian, the only car to have ever been used for time travel.

I imagine the fumes from a lithium fire could cause one to hallucinate that they're traveling through time in the inevitable event the truck spontaneously combusts.

[–] LeninsBeard@hexbear.net 23 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The comparison works well because the Delorean was also a pile of shit created by a drugged up ultra rich dickhead

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Extremely cursed Back to the Future reboot/remake featuring a time-traveling Cybertruck

[–] Grandpa_garbagio@hexbear.net 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It'll happen, no way that script isn't already being shopped

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

New series coming to Peacock!

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A divorced dad travels back in time in his cybertruck to the moment his wife left him and took the kids and sets it all right with the help of the professor.

[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He goes back in time to be the guy his wife leaves him for

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

the only car to have ever been used for time travel.

SMDH everyone forgets the humble '64 Chevy Malibu

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I gotta watch this movie again it's been ages.

"John Wayne came to the door in a dress."

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Me and a Buddy have watched it and Walker (1987) like 3 times in the last year. Gonna watch them again soon now that we found rips with Alex Cox's commentary matt

E) The movie is Repoman (1984) for anyone who doesn't already know

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FALGSConaut@hexbear.net 42 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It would be the perfect vehicle for bootlegging if only it had range, reliability, hauling capacity, and didn't stick out like a sore thumb!

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 33 points 1 week ago

Modern remake of Smokey and the Bandit with cybertrucks and the beer run is over in 20 minutes after the bandit has to recharge, and the other 70 minutes of the movie are them being needlessly brutalized by the police

[–] AcidSmiley@hexbear.net 28 points 1 week ago

You can probably also identify them reliably even without the license plate just by looking at the discoloration and corrosion patterns on the panels.

[–] Wolfman86@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

So it would be perfect, apart from the fact that it’s not perfect.

[–] RedWizard@hexbear.net 30 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"I'm gonna give you to the count of ten to get your ugly, chrome, no good truck off my property... before I pump your guts full of led...."

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 29 points 1 week ago

I imagine paulie-point hiding in the brush fire with a thompson waiting for a cyberstuck to pull up.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Also, I'm pretty sure it's not even resistant to subsonic projectiles

Couple of CyberTruck bros shot up their trucks to prove it and ended up ruining them

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 26 points 1 week ago

I can't figure out why people are being so dense about it. The sheets used for the door on the production vehicles are 14ga (1.8mm thick) 301 stainless steel. Some of the original prototypes used 3mm thick, which would approach some level of effectiveness against handgun ammo. But because that just makes the whole truck heavy as fuck for no reason, they did the obvious thing, which was to just use thinner, non-bullet-proof steel.

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 24 points 1 week ago

I assumed it definitely isn't. Not because I've seen those videos, but it's just safe to assume my-hero is full of shit.

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Oh hell yes! Some chud is absolutely going to film himself "proving" this, and I am here for it meow-popcorn

[–] Horse@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 1 week ago

80% of those videos look like the guy has never fired a gun in his life and is a little scared of it
Which normally would be whatever, who cares, but these are people who jack themselves off over the 2nd ammendment

[–] psyklax@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bulletproof, sure, but don't get it wet.

[–] huf@hexbear.net 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

it will stop bullets made of ice though

[–] john_brown@hexbear.net 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 20 points 1 week ago

The kinds of people who are into this shit are the same kinds of people who live in the quietest suburb you can think of, keep a loaded gun on their bedside table, and tell everyone that will listen about how safe they are because they do it and how stupid you are for not doing it.

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

shotgun

A thick jacket will stop birdshot if you're far enough away

And it's not that far away

[–] PussyGriot@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 1 week ago

You can take the man out of South Africa, but you can't take South Africa out of the man.

[–] BodyBySisyphus@hexbear.net 13 points 1 week ago

Future Headline: Cybertruck Owner Apologizes for Incident at Symphony

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

More like nyah~ amirite? 😽

[–] ObamnaSoda@hexbear.net 11 points 1 week ago

Tesla can't be shot with a Chicago typewriter... It's Lucky Lucianover...

[–] Wolfman86@hexbear.net 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why does he say “non-zero”…why just say that there’s risk?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments