this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2024
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chapotraphouse

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[–] catonkatonk@hexbear.net 70 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Here we have the king of libs himself admitting that his most erotic fantasy is to see democrats rally around a republican.

[–] huf@hexbear.net 33 points 4 months ago

biden is to the right of reagan on most things, so they already have that.

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 59 points 4 months ago

Democracy is when both parties are the GOP

[–] Stoatmilk@hexbear.net 53 points 4 months ago (3 children)

They should actually throw a real curve ball, and prove that we’re not red states and blue states but the United States, by nominating Donald Trump Jr.

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago (5 children)

Donald Trump Jr. / Hunter Biden -- the Sons Ticket!

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[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 51 points 4 months ago (2 children)

The “West Wing” and “The Social Network” writer suffered a stroke “in the middle of the night” last year. “There was a minute when I was concerned that I was never going to be able to write again,” he said.

After noticing he “was crashing into walls and corners” at his home and spilling the orange juice he was carrying to his office, Sorkin, 61, called his doctor. “You’re supposed to be dead.” A month after the stroke, the writer was slurring his words, had difficulty typing.

[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 40 points 4 months ago

Jesus, I'm gonna continue to stay away from the coke

[–] FourteenEyes@hexbear.net 33 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Comrade stroke working hard yet again to deliver us the hottest takes

[–] catonkatonk@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

His previous work proves he didn't need the stroke to come up with this take.

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 47 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nominate Mitt Romney

They're taking the piss at this point, yeh?

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 36 points 4 months ago

Idk, been waiting for .world to suggest that if/when they accept Biden is done

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 46 points 4 months ago (1 children)

After the assassination attempt on Mr. Trump last Saturday, rallygoers pointed at reporters and shouted, “You’re next!” and Republicans in Congress and on television were blaming Mr. Biden and D.E.I. for the shooting, so it doesn’t look as if that terrible moment will serve as the healing event we’ve all been waiting for. But Democrats nominating a Republican could be. And when it loses the popular vote for the eighth time in nine presidential elections, the Republican Party can then rebuild itself back into a useful force for democracy.

Idk why that would make them change anything, especially when in this scenario a republican won the presidential vote. Or is the joke the dems are already republicans...

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 26 points 4 months ago

Republicans, famous for giving two shits about the popular vote no-oil

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 42 points 4 months ago

Is it the hundreds of thousands of people who took the time to vote uncommitted to protest our complicity in genocide that we should try to win back?

No, it's the Republicans we need to appeal to!

amerikkka-clap

[–] BelieveRevolt@hexbear.net 37 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Surely Mr. Romney, who doesn’t have to be introduced to voters, would peel off enough Republican votes to win, probably by a lot.

Yes, Romney is famously super popular and beloved by all.

Does he want to aggressively raise the minimum wage, bolster public education, strengthen unions, expand transgender rights and enact progressive tax reform? Probably not.

Oh yeah, there's definitely a chance he supports those things. You can definitely use the qualifier "probably" here.

Besides all the other things, isn't Romney retiring from politics? The guy's only a few years younger than Biden.

[–] Moss@hexbear.net 29 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Romney is most known for losing to Obama, why would anyone think he's a winner

[–] huf@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago

biden finally managed to become president on the third try by standing in the shadow of obama. they still like hillary. they like losers.

[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

expand transgender rights

binders full of trans men
double entendre referring to romney saying he was progressive and had “binders full of women” to consider for positions, this is satirically positing he tries to court ‘woke’ voters by having binders full of trans men, the double part being because trans men who either do not want top surgery or haven’t had it yet often wear binders

joke 2 being ‘expand’ is used in quoted text, and as a spoiler this section has to be expanded

joke 3 is by over explaining the jokes so detailed that they are no longer funny, but so detailed that it loops around and becomes funny again

joke 4 being that it didn’t actually become funny during joke 3 so this is an anti-joke

joke 5 being that the anti-joke is so bad, it has actually become funny by this point

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Joke 6 is it wouldn't be a quality hexbear comment if the reader didn't have to scroll at least a little

[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 37 points 4 months ago

Wonder if this is what AOC was talking about. and here I was dreading the democrats probably deciding it was Pelosi's turn, holy smokes.

When I'm in a stupid idea competition and my opponent is the DNC

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS@hexbear.net 35 points 4 months ago

Truly a beautiful mind. It should be scooped from his skull and put in a jar to be studied

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 32 points 4 months ago

So here’s my pitch to the writers’ room: The Democratic Party should pick a Republican.

At their convention next month, the Democrats should nominate Mitt Romney.

This is how you simultaneously get Jill Stein and Cornel West over the federal matching fund threshold

[–] rayne@hexbear.net 31 points 4 months ago

My step mom suggested a Biden/Liz Cheney ticket. She's a lifelong liberal.

The center keeps moving to the right to compete with fascists.

[–] poppy_apocalypse@hexbear.net 28 points 4 months ago

In a previous thread I almost posted the dems should run a Romney/Cheney ticket, but bailed on it cause it was too ridiculous.

[–] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago

In the studio straight up sorkin it

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 27 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Comments are off which is a real shame.

[–] ButtBidet@hexbear.net 20 points 4 months ago

When the Times has this level of ideological bullshit, they turn off the comments.

[–] UmbraVivi@hexbear.net 26 points 4 months ago

My dad spun up some fanfic at the dinner table about how he "wouldn't rule out" that Barack Obama might convince Michelle to run at the last minute to save democracy

[–] ElChapoDeChapo@hexbear.net 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Before judging this idea I need to know how much cocaine he had when he thought it up

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

critical support for the cocaine

[–] Dr_Gabriel_Aby@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago

Heavy Whig Party energy.

I like it, let the 1854 party realignment begin!

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

So i started reading it but only one paragraph in stopped to get high because is he really gonna base his political thesis on "West Wing"? I know we make Harry Potter jokes n shit but i just can't take this. Is he for real?

Edit:

Related: didn't i just read some other liberal opinion the other day, also based on West Wing fantasy edging?

(Sorry if the link is shit i dunno how to do the privacy ones)

Edit again, (as i said i am high): Ok so if we get a third+ "West Wing" opinion piece in the best few days, would that imply a gentle push to get liberals to treat "West Wing" credulously in the way they eat up all the copaganda on tv? Joking/not joking, a nudge to get people watching West Wing and thinking that politicians are anything like that?

Eh.

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[–] vertexarray@hexbear.net 23 points 4 months ago (1 children)

We're gonna need a pithy, quarterback-style nickname for sorkin if he's gonna keep coming in clutch like this. Pure heat

[–] the_post_of_tom_joad@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Borkin' Sorkin? chefs-kiss

[–] Justice@lemmygrad.ml 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I would like Sorkin to script a much more personal life changing event for himself

Alternatively, perhaps he could just shut the hell up for 5 minutes. The last thing I need to hear/see is the most libbed up libasses quoting whatever works of horror he's devising

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 24 points 4 months ago (1 children)

the most libbed up libasses

You wound me.

[–] cmhickman358@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

So how long until Lin Manuel Miranda and Jack Black start collaborating?

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[–] Dolores@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)

timmy-pray arron sorkings hands need to be crushed so completely that he never picks up a pen again

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[–] ksynwa@lemmygrad.ml 19 points 4 months ago

That would have been one hell of a punchline if it wasn't serious.

[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 19 points 4 months ago
[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 4 months ago

It's just as dumb as nominating garland to be a supreme court justice

[–] LocalOaf@hexbear.net 17 points 4 months ago

Aww c'mon Aaron quit Sorkin on my dink while I'm tryin' to slomp, I gotta work tomorra

[–] newacctidk@hexbear.net 16 points 4 months ago

Everything is literally a saturday morning cartoon to these freaks. There are zero consequences, everything is about their fantasy land idea of american government. God sorkin is maybe the worst influence on american politics and this included Father Coughlin

[–] Red_Sunshine_Over_Florida@hexbear.net 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

This makes total sense of a Florida Democrat thought this up. Over here we put up Republicans like Charlie Crist to run for office as Democrats all the time. Now we can do it on a national level.

[–] HumanBehaviorByBjork@hexbear.net 14 points 4 months ago

odious little fuckin worm i hate him i hate him gnawed by dogs fucking scum

[–] sharedburdens@hexbear.net 13 points 4 months ago

Willard its HER turn stalin-gun-1hillary-contempt

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